“I went looking for you, Zade.” A hot tear rolled down my cheek and I dashed it away furiously. “I went to your office to look for you. Randy said you had left the office upset. I found the photos of you and that-that woman!”
“What woman?” his shout echoed around me.
“The woman who was blackmailing you and you had to steal the money from the company to pay her off.Thatwoman. So, if you want to know why I did not call, I was busy wrapping my mind around the fact that the man I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with was not only a cheat, but a thief, soforgive meif I didn’t come with guns blazing to bust you out of jail!”
“Even if you believed I was cheating, why did you not come to see me and call me a cheat to my face? At least you could have given me the chance to defend myself face to face. Instead, I sat there, day after day, waiting for you to show up, and all I could think was that Randy had been right about you all along. It broke my heart.”
“You weren’t the only one whose heart was breaking! While you were on trial, I was holed up in my mother’s house recovering from the miscarriage caused by the stress of you cheating and stealing!” I screamed wildly at him. The moment the words were uttered I wished I could take them back.
His face was as white as a sheet as he whispered. “What did you say?”
Gut-wrenching sobs such as I had never had since my miscarriage came out of nowhere. I stuffed my fist into my mouth as the tears continued to pour down my face. I squeezed my eyes shut, blotting out his shocked face. All that could be heard in the strange silence were my sobs. When at last I felt as if I had regained some control, I looked at him as he continued to stare at me. He looked shell-shocked. Frozen, unable to move or do anything.
I took a deep breath. “I was eight weeks pregnant, Zade. I had found out the day before my birthday and planned to surprise you with the positive test. I had it wrapped in a cute little box and everything.”
My voice broke once more and I closed my eyes. I could not bear to look at him anymore. The tears continued to roll down my cheeks, but my voice was now shrill and accusing.
“I waited for hours. You never showed up. God knows how much longer I would have sat there like some lovesick fool if Randy hadn’t turned up to wish me a happy birthday. He told me you had left the office hours ago. I was so worried I begged him to help me find you. He offered to take me to the office to check if you might have gone back there. I was so distraught I thought going through your desk would give me a clue what had happened to you. That’s when I found those disgusting photos.
“That was when Randy reluctantly told me y-you had been caught stealing and he’d had no choice but to press charges for embezzlement. I was like a zombie that night. I couldn’t accept it all. It was too much. I woke up with cramps the next morning and I was bleeding. By the time I drove myself to the hospital and got into the emergency room, it was too late. The doctor’s said I was heading for a stroke, my blood pressure was so high! They had to, they had to finish?”
I wrapped my arms around my torso as I started to tremble. “My baby! My poor baby! My baby was gone! And it was all because of you! Damn you, Zade! Damn you!”
Refusing to look at him, I collapsed into the armchair, overcome by sobs once more.
But suddenly, I was torn out of my agony by a howl even louder than mine. I swung my head around to find Zade’s head buried in his hands as he howled in pain. Instinctively, I went to kneel in front of him and took his face between my hands. As he looked at my eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, I was shocked to see abject pain and misery so deep it must be etched into his very soul.