18

ZADE

I had to admit: I felt like a world class asshole after Sapphire left. I fought the urge to chase after her. The last thing I needed was for her to think I was begging her for sex. The desire for revenge still beat in my chest but it felt like something alien inside me. I felt confused and conflicted. One meeting with her and she had reduced me to this mess of emotion. Of course, I wanted to make her pay for deserting me. For going with the man who had double-crossed me.

But the image of her face, shocked, hurt, and white as a sheet horrified me.

Part of me began making excuses for her. She had no obligation to remain with me. Just because I was head over heels in love with her didn’t mean she had to be too. She didn’t deserve to suffer for that.

I ran the fingers of both my hands through my hair.

What point would I feel satisfied that my revenge was complete, or if I would be stuck in a never ending cycle to get back at her? For Randy, it was easy. There was no conflict. It was clear cut. Wipe out his business without an ounce of regret. When he couldn’t even afford the hairspray that kept his stupid hair together, I’d walk away satisfied.

But Sapphire was a different matter altogether. Even the sight of her crying was hurting my soul. A voice in my head was already telling me to consider the earlier scene as enough of a punishment.

I avoided Sandy’s eyes and grunted a dismissive reply when she asked if there was anything wrong with the donuts.

Once she was gone for the day, I worked until long into the night. Every now and again I had to fight the desire to pick up the phone and call Sapphire. What could I have said anyway? I had not meant my offer? That would be a lie. I crave Sapphire’s body.

I’ve been craving it day and night whilst I was inside and since I’ve been out.

I told myself Sapphire was feisty. She didn’t give up easily. Once she started something she held on till the very end. I held on to that one slim thread of hope. The figures I had looked at were proof that the school desperately needed my money. After she had cooled down for a few days, she would be back.

I had played and the ball was now in her court.

* * *

The restof the week passed in silence. It was already Friday and there was still no word from Sapphire.

I decided to give her the weekend. Monday. She would call at the start of the week.

But Monday evening found me staring at my silent phone. Seven days. It had been seven fucking days since she had come to the office. And she was still silent. What kind of game was she playing? Or was it that she had another source of funds? But if that had been the case, why would she have even bothered to come to my office? No. There was no other donor. She would be back.

By Tuesday afternoon I knew Sapphire was playing her own game. She must have picked up how desperately I wanted to feel her body again. I knew I should wait it out, but I seemed not to be able to get my mind off her. She had changed in many ways in four years.

Sapphire then had been a young woman, just barely out of her teens. There had still been an air of innocence about her and a wonder in her eyes for the world. She took my breath away every time I looked at her. I basked in the wonder that this woman loved me. My love for her had kept me chained to my desk for long hours as I worked twice as hard to branch out on my own and make all her dreams come true. I wanted to give her the big house and the big family she wanted. She thought I was a workaholic. Little did she know that I just wanted to surprise her with the news of my own company at the same time I proposed.

And I had been so close too!

The Sapphire of today still bore hints of the woman who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on her. Her raven hair still made my fingers itch to undo her strict, no-nonsense bun and run my fingers through the silky strands… like old times. Her easy smile lit up any space she stepped into, except that it was no longer mine to expect when they alighted on me. And her eyes! Those stunning eyes of hers will always pull me into their mysterious gold and green galaxy.

I stopped my thoughts.

What the hell was I doing? I was furious with her. It was Randy’s lips on hers now, his hands roaming her luscious curves, and his body joined to hers. My hands clenched hard. Did she cream for him the way she did for me? Had he discovered that sensitive spot on her back that a simple stroke of my finger would make her wet with uncontrollable desire even when she was angry and claimed to be not in the mood? Did she whisper in his ear as her body tightened around him while she peaked in ecstasy?

These thoughts and more drove me crazy. But it was a good thing. It kept me from thinking with my dick and becoming weak.

Clearly, Sapphire was no longer as accommodating of others and their foibles as she had been then. Now she had a stubborn streak as was evidenced by her silence. I could not help the reluctant admiration of her strength and defiance even though it was not in my favor.

Another day passed.

To my intense irritation a glimpse of Sandy’s dark hair brought back a haunting memory of her. Unfortunately, for me, Sandy turned at that very moment and whatever she saw in my face made her blush.

I was developing an obsession, and I didn’t like it one bit.

This was not how my great revenge was supposed to play out. Being the gold digger she was, she was supposed to come back groveling for the money and I was supposed to string her along some more. Dangle more and more shiny objects in front of her face, while I tired of her body. I should not be the one waking up in the middle of the night with a rock-hard erection, or giving my secretary the impression I was lusting after her.

After everyone else had gone off to celebrate Friday night, I sat alone staring out of my office window. I remembered a time when I was working on a project that had me sleeping on the couch at the office for three nights in a row. When I had gotten home that weekend, I found my apartment cleaned from top to bottom and meals for a week stacked in the freezer.

I frowned. Shemust haveloved me at that time.

There was yet another time when she told me to come over straight from work. I had been exhausted, but had gone nevertheless, and man, was I ever glad I did.

She had undressed me and led me straight to the bathtub filled with perfumed oils. After a good soak, she laid me out on the bed and gave me a massage. I was rejuvenated enough to be able to thank her repeatedly.

In the short two years we had there had been so many wonderful experiences. It was hard to think about the changed woman who now behaved like a stranger. What had gone wrong? Why had she left me to suffer alone? I had failed to believe Randy’s claim of her being a gold digger, but it would seem he had not taken his own warning seriously? Or maybe he was just getting his rocks off while he could.

The longer I sat staring into space the more thoughts of revenge against Sapphire seemed ridiculous. I’d been so shocked and angry by their betrayal I had let my emotions get the better of me. I felt as though I had erred in my assessment of her. The anger and rage I had felt had been stoked by her four years of silence. But just seeing her had made me remember the kind of person she was.

There had to be some sort of explanation for her actions. I should at least give her the benefit of the doubt. I should give her a chance to make things right and explain why she deserted me in my hour of need. Even if she was a gold digger, one call would have not hurt. So why not?

My curiosity peaked. I needed to know what had happened.

I left my office and drove to my favorite watering hole. But even a few drinks could not dampen the need to know what had caused Sapphire and me to fall apart so suddenly. I thought we had had something strong and unshakeable. But clearly there was a breach somewhere.

I ordered one last drink, followed it with some strong black coffee and prepared for the drive home. The Friday night liveliness of the bar was lost on me. Such a scene could not be enjoyed in my current state of mind.

When I left the bar, it was minutes to eleven and it had started to rain. I was soaked to the skin by the time I got to my car. I drove carefully in the driving rain, my thoughts on Sapphire and every possible way I could find to get her to talk to me. Send her flowers? Nah. That had never been her thing. Then a crazy thought crept into my head. I checked the clock on the dashboard.Don’t do it, Zade.But before I could talk myself out of the idea, my hands were already spinning on the steering wheel. The car’s wheel skidded on the wet road.

The rain was now coming down in sheets and the wipers were going at top speed.

I parked and dashed into the lobby. Too revved up to wait for the elevator I took the stairs two at a time. A rush of adrenaline sped through my veins as I walked down the familiar corridor and knocked on that old door. What was the worst that could happen? She could call the police and have me arrested? A bitter laugh rose into my throat. Go for it, Sapphire. Been there, done that.

I raised my hand to knock once more, but the door swung open. She stared at me in disbelief. I felt my shoes squelch as I stepped past her.

“We need to talk. And we need to do it now.”