LIAM

I stare at her phone ringing for the umpteenth time. Asides from the fact that I feel like I've been hit by a truck, there's no way I'm going to notify her that a certain Frederick is calling her phone none stop. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. 

"Your phone has been ringing. I was too weak to bring it down." I say as she enters the room. 

"It's okay. Dr Philip said you should get a lot of rest and maximum rest is what you'll get."

"I still smell like vomit even after changing clothes. I really need a thorough bath so as to get rid of this smell."

Why am I getting a stare from Cara that says you just said something abominable. Oh, hope she's not thinking I'm insinuating she gives me a bath. 

"I'm not suggesting you give me a bath."

"Good because I couldn't even phantom the thought."

"Many women would jump at the offer."

"I'm not one of those many women. Do you want me to help you to the bathroom or do I just mop your body?"

"Please assist me to the bathroom."

I try my best not to put all my weight on her as she guides me to the bathroom.

"How do you like your water?" 

"Lukewarm."

"Okay." 

While I brush my teeth, I steal glances at her as she prepares my bath. Liam this girl has been nothing but polite and kind to you since the day she step foot on your property. Whereas, you have repaid her kind gestures with nothing but insults and embarrassments. Deep down how does that make you feel? Bad, very bad. Now that I'm seeing a therapist I know I'm becoming a better person. I promise to make it up to her. 

"Don't touch that!"

She drops it immediately startled. 

"The shower gel was for Fiona. It wasn't my intention to startle you. I haven't had the gut to clear up her bathing things even though I gave her clothes and shoes away to charity."

"I didn't know it was hers."

"I know you didn't. Heaven knows I'm trying my best. I don't want to use my pain as an excuse for my attitude towards you or anybody."

"It's okay Liam. We all grieve differently."

"I don't want to be that person who takes out their grief on everyone. Most especially on people who are trying their best to show they care. The coffee gel is mine. Please use that instead."

"Okay."

"Are you sure you can manage?"

"Yes, I can. Thanks. If I'm not out in the next five to seven minutes, I give you permission  to walk in and check if I'm still alive." I say laughing. 

"You must find this joke of yours very funny?" 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to lighten up a bit."

"Please don't take too long in there. I'll be on your room passage if you need me."

"Okay."

I get into the bathtub and soak myself. The last time I did something like this was with Fiona. I pick up her shower gel and check to see if it's not expired. Unfortunately, it is so I change my mind about pouring a little into the tub and just sniff it. 

"Liam, it's seven minutes nine seconds. Are you still in there?" she asks knocking. 

"Yes I am. I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay. I'll be on the passage. Can you manage 

 back to the room on your own?"

"Okay."

"I've put together something you can wear when you come out."

"Thank you very much."

I change into a the short and sleeveless jersey Cara arranged for me. Once I'm done, I send her a text saying she can  come in and I would love to have a word with her. 

 "I'm seeing a therapist."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I want to tell you."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I care about you. Cara I care about you a lot but I'm a broken man. I can't even love myself let alone love another. Pain got me here and if I don't make conscious effort to heal, I'm going to self destruct eventually." 

"Liam you do not care about me. I see it in your actions. The hurtful things you say to me? I get you've been through a lot but I've also been through a lot too and you don't see me taking my hurt and anger on other people. Especially people who I supposedly claim to love. Sometimes I wonder if I knew you at all or everything was just a facade. We shouldn't be having this conversation."

"Please Cara, I'm being honest when I say I care about. You know this is not who I am. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I promise I'm becoming a better person. I want us to be friends. I know we started off on a wrong foot. Give me a chance to right my wrongs."

"You better not mess this up. This is your final chance."

"I promise I won't. Thank you so much. I know I said I'm becoming a better version of myself. Please know that this new route is not going to be a walk by the park."

"I totally understand."

"So? Friends?"

"Yeah, friends. It's time for your meds. This new ones got delivered when you were in the bathroom."

"Not again. Do I really have to take them?"

The expression on Cara's face says it all. 

"I give up. Pass me the drug before I change my mind."