Chapter 34 CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CAIUS
The car is too quiet. The low hum of the engine and the sound of the tires rolling steadily over gravel fills the space, but it does nothing to drown out the sound of my own thoughts. Or my wolf.
Clayton is also not saying anything. I can never get him to shut up but today, he decides to keep his thoughts to himself. I don't want to talk, but I want him to talk.
I look in the rearview mirror and see her. She's still unconscious, bound, and still. She looks almost unreal like this. Powerful and so beautiful. She's relaxed and not glaring at me and I notice things about her face, I've never noticed before. She's also going to be furious when she wakes up but her fury is nothing compared to how I feel.
My jaw tightens not because of what I did but because of why I had to do it. Since we met at the council weeks ago, I have been the one trying to put her feelings in consideration. Everything I've done since that day has been contained to make her comfortable and she had the guts to think this and actually execute it. No more. I'll take her power and her will so she finally knows what it really feels like.
"She’s out cold." Clayton finally says.
His eyes move briefly to the rearview mirror, then back to the road.
"Is she supposed to still be out?"
"No."
He glances at me before turning back to the road. "So why is she still out?"
"I took some of that mix the healer gave us from the trunk and I gave it her her while I was tying her up."
Clayton exhales slowly, like he expected that answer.
"I can't believe she went this far." He says after a moment. "This will spread really fast."
I don't say anything.
"You sure about this?" He asks.
"I'm not but I don't care. She went too far."
"She really kissed him in front of you."
The words settle in the space between us. Heavy and suffocating.
My wolf rises violently to the surface, clawing at my control. I can't give in.
"I know. I was there."
My voice shakes with anger and I take a deep breath.
First she stood in front of the council, in front of those Alpha's and she chose another male. My hand curls slightly against my thigh to calm my wolf. I shouldn't think about this but it's all I can think about. As if that wasn't damage enough, she kissed that wolf right in front of me.
"She doesn't mean it. I'm sure of it."
"No," I agree after a beat. “She doesn’t.”
Maeva might be acting like a scared little pup. Afraid of the bond and doing everything she can to ruin it — even if it means kissing other makes and taking help from witches — but she doesn't want to mate with her Beta.
I laugh to myself. What if I reacted totally different from how I reacted today? What if I had called her bluff and she really bound herself for all eternity to her Beta while still being bound to me. It would drive her mad. The thought that in a way, this is the less dangerous reaction, brings me peace.
"Why would she go this far. Do you think there's more to her refusal to mate with you?"
"There's nothing more to it. She's just used to fighting for her right to be recognized as a female Alpha and now she can't stop." I say, my gaze flicking back to the mirror. To her.
"She thinks if she chooses someone else or does exactly what she did that it would break me and make me reject her."
"That did not end well for her or him." Clayton says with a little laugh.
"It did not."
Silence settles again and this time, I don't mind it. Soon, our pack entrance comes into view. Like yesterday, Alpha's are in front of my pack wanting to talk to me. Unlike yesterday, I will not be talking to any of them.
"Back to the cell?" Clayton asks and I shake my head.
"No, were going to my house."
She doesn't deserve to stay isolated from the mess she made. She deserves to hear the whispers and the laughter that she brought. Clayton nods and keeps driving.
By the time the car slows in front of the house, pack members have slowly started gathering. Watching and waiting from every corner. They've heard. I will address them soon but not now.
I step out first. The sun is harsh against my skin, burning my skin on the outside as anger burns me from within.
Clayton comes down and moves to open the back door.
I growl at him and he stops.
"I’ll take her."
He steps back immediately. I reach in and lift her. Even unconscious, she still looks every bit the strong Alpha she is. She doesn’t stir as we go up to my front door. The pack are still watching silently, tension and speculation thick in the air. Let them watch. I don’t slow to explain or to acknowledge any of them as I walk into the house.
Inside, it’s quieter. The noise and whispers outside has reduced but has not gone away completely. I listen as Clayton starts to send everyone back to their homes and duties.
I take her upstairs to the spare bedroom I never use. There is no single furniture in the room except a deflated, inflatable mattress. I have to find a new mattress for her to sleep on before nightfall but she'll wake up in the deflated mattress. I push the door open and step inside.
At least it's still clean. Some pack women come here once in a while to clean. Even though I've told them I don't want anyone in my space, Clayton still lets them in
I set her down on the bed carefully. I may be angry but not angry enough to handle her roughly. For a moment, I just stand there looking at her.
The restraints will stay. I want her to wake up to them on. I want her to see what really happens if I try to take her will. I will succeed and she will hate it and her life with me. Maybe then she'll finally see that that's not what I'm trying to do and finally give this a chance. If that doesn't work, then we'll both be stuck because I'm not meeting her walk away from the bond.
After a few minutes of standing silently watching her, I leave to bring a seat. I won't take my eyes off her until she wakes up. I want her see her first reaction when she makes up. Maybe that will finally take away this anger that I feel.