Chapter 4 Three
Howard.
Another burden—that’s what she is.
I sit across her at the table, staring at her, shocked of how unmoved I am with her. I honestly wanted to feel even a bit of spark between this mate of mine and I but I feel nothing. She’s just same as the rest I’ve been with—futile and a waste of time. The only thing different here is that my father is forcing me to take her as my mate just so I could take over the pack and be the Alpha.
I look at her again—she’s unfit to be a Luna. She looks vulnerable and deserted. I need a stout and sovereign wife that my pack would be dependent on especially when I’m absent. This is just some regular spoilt girl that gets things done for her instead of doing it herself.
She finally raises her head to look at me. She has soft cheek bones with round almond eyes. Her thin rosy lips slightly moved as if to say something. She exhales gently, clearly nervous and still shocked at the fact that I am her mate.
I wasn’t moved to see her again. I’ve seen her before—countless times. Sitting by the cliff and crying her eyes out. I used to not care about as to why she does that until I found out that Greenbell lost their Luna which happens to be her mother. I feel sorry for her—it’s the only sensation I feel toward the girl—pity. Because I know what it feels to lose a mother. I lost mine when I was eighteen and I haven’t been the same since then.
Nora is just a wretched young girl who misses her parents. I don’t need a despondent wife right now. I don’t even need a wife—I don’t need anyone!
And I believe our age gap is a bit too much. I’m eleven years older than her. Looking at her again makes me want to reject her more—it wasn’t because she wasn’t good-looking. She’s beautiful and has everything a fit lady would have.
I first saw her the day she lost her mother. The moons delicate light had just turned the world a-flame with silver when I saw her. She had a sculpted figure which was twine-thin. A pair of arched eyebrows looked down on sweeping eyelashes. It was a pleasure to see her flowing, moon shadow-black hair. She looked at me with her sad Hazel eyes but instead, I returned her soft look with a cold one. I felt sorry for her at the moment as she stood there drenched in her mother’s blood. It was hard to think of how she was feeling at the moment. Pain.
She heaves a sigh, getting my attention to her heart shaped lips. I raise my eyes to hers and she found out that she could not meet my eyes. I smirk at her reaction. She shudders—I’m satisfied.
Her step-father clears his throat contracting my attention. I’m supposing he wants to say something because he’s looking at the two of us.
He looks at Nora in a way I don’t like. I don’t know why I have the gawky feeling about this man. I dislike him with no reason. No reason is also a reason.
“Nora, why don’t you show him the garden at the backyard.”
It’s obvious they want us to talk because since the dinner started, neither have I spoken nor did she. It was only my father and her step-father that had been conversing at the table. And also her two sisters that won’t shut up. They are nothing like Nora—they were basically her opposite. They were lousy and loud while she was quiet and calm. It still doesn’t change the fact that I am still rejecting her as my mate. She is unfit to be my Luna.
She walks us to the garden and stop right amidst the fresh plot of grass. I watch as her shoulders rise up and down. I don’t say anything to her. She mumbles under her breath and it was so low that I couldn’t hear what she uttered even with my werewolf capabilities. She exhales again and ran her fingers down her face before finally turning around to face me.
I haven’t noticed how short she was until now that she was facing me, and staring up at me. She stares at me for a moment with her dark almond-shaped eyes that sparkled. I return the gaze with a cold one and she instantly darts her gaze downward.
“I really thought… I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. Well… I had hopes of seeing you again but never thought it would be this soon and you’d be my mate.” She manages to gather courage and look up at me again.
I don’t know what this girl thinks of me—I don’t want to know. All I know is I don’t want to be with her. She’s not what I want now or ever.
“I had hopes of never seeing you again,” I retort coldly.
She breathes out sharply, her eyes looked alert and wary. She shifts her gaze to anywhere but my face. A puzzled look spread across her face. Possibly to why I’d say such harsh words to her face.
I also have no clue to why I just said that. Maybe I wanted her to know that I don’t want her.
“I wanted to not meet you either,” she replied, her voice almost breaking as she did. She cleared her throat and inhaled. Angry expression distorted her face.
“I don’t need a mate, especially someone like you. You’re unfit to be my mate. You are going to be nothing but a liability to me, Nora. Save us both the stress and tell them we are not fated mates,” I told her firmly.
Wind sweeps her hair across her face but she doesn’t bother to sweep it off. She stares at me, putting on her bold expression—I like how courageous she was trying to look.
She finally smoothed her hair from her face. “If you care so much about rejecting me, why don’t you go tell them yourself? I don’t give two damns if you do not want to be my mate, I’m not holding you back.”
I can’t imagine how long it took her to put those words together and say it to my face. Looking at her, she appears to be on the verge of a breakdown. She’s transparent and an open book—I could see her emotions and read her like I wrote the book.
Another reason to reject Nora Fred as my mate. She’s ineligible and frail. My pack needs a strong and unswerving Luna, not someone that cries over the slenderest matter.
“You were hoping to see me again—I believe those words more than what you had just said to me now,” I say nonchalantly.
She throws me a disbelief look as though I just accused her of what she had said to me. She folds her arms over her chest and looks away. She taps on her feet, clearly nervous and puffed.
When she finally composes herself, she looks at me and points a finger toward me—trying to be bold. “Look, Howard…” she halts, realizing she had just called my name. It was the first time she referred to me by my name. I hate how it sounded good rolling out of her tongue.
I swallowed hard, heaving a stricken sigh. I will not allow this girl to affect me because I don’t do love. I play and toss!
“You’re rejecting me?” She asks me as though hoping I’d change my decision. She was staring up at me, trying to hide the hope in her eyes but she was an open book, I could see through her.
I bury my face in my hands, huffing. I was visibly annoyed by her. “Do you really have to ask me that?”
She nods, swallowing back her hope at the sight of my fury. “Yes, I do.”
“Nora, I don’t want you…”
“Oh, fuck it…”
“Nora,” I called out in a threatening way. She has zero idea what I can be capable of doing.
“You think I'm playing at some game? You think iron will keep you safe? Hear my words, Nora. Do not mistake me for my mask. You see light dappling on the water and forget the deep, cold dark beneath. Listen. You cannot win me over even if you try. You cannot run or hide. In this I will not be defied. I swear by all the salt in me: if you run counter to my desire, the remainder of your brief mortal span will be an orchestra of misery. I swear by stone and oak and elm: I'll make a game of you. I'll follow you unseen and smother any spark of joy you find. You'll never know a man’s touch, a breath of rest, a moment's peace of mind. And I swear by the night sky and the ever-moving moon: if you let things go any further, I'll string a fiddle with your guts and make you play it while I dance. You are an educated woman. You know there are no such things as demons. There is only my kind.”
Her face was paper white. She clenches her stomach, trying to breathe out the horror I just rammed into her guts. She darts her face down as horror covered her entire face.
I take few steps back before turning and walking out silently, leaving her in her pool of misery that I caused. I don’t regret everything I just said to Nora—I’ve warned her but she’s too persistent and conceited to see or listen.
I don’t go back into the house. I was too messed up to face my father or her step-father. I walk around the mansion, walking passed their pack warriors and strolled out of their territory.
Going back home now is a bad idea, knowing she’d probably go tell them what I just did—I don’t care. I make way back home and as soon as I did, I encounter with my best friend plainly waiting out front my house. He walks over to me with a smile plastered over his face.
We’ve been best friends for more than two decades but we have completely different personalities—Alexandra believes in true love and finding love, I believe in toying around with girls for my pleasure. Alex believes in staying at home and baking cookies with his mate while I believe in having a one-night stand.
“So, how was it? When’s the wedding? Already preparing for my best man’s speech.”
“There isn’t going to be a wedding because I am not getting married to her or anyone.” I walk past him and enter my house. I love how different the air is in here—reminds me how peaceful it is to leave alone without being pestered by any lassie here.
I huffed, walking toward the kitchen, knowing Alex was behind me.
“What do you mean? She’s beautiful and lacks nothing. I have met her before—why would you reject her as your mate? We both know the moon chose her as your mate before you knew about her. What did the Alpha say about it?”
I try as much as I could to ignore Alex but when I open the fridge to grab a drink, he slams it back, forcing me to listen to him.
“I don’t feel an ounce of feeling that girl. I don’t mind fucking her for a night…”
“You’re such a pervert, Howard,” he cuts in, angry expression distorting his face.
I don’t know why Alex is taking this insignificant matter personal. It’s simple—I had seen the girl, she’s not my type, I reject her—it’s simple. If Alex could react this way, I don’t know how my father, Alpha Claude is going to respond to the matter.
“HOWARD!” I heard the angry voice of my father. I smirk, walking passed Alex back to the living room.
I met him pacing back and forth in my living room, fuming with complete fury. His claws sharpen as the hairs in the back of his neck rise. The last time I saw him this angry was when he found out the women I bring into my house for pleasure. I’m twenty-eight for fuck sakes, I’m old enough to make decisions.
“Why the hell did you reject that girl? Do you have any idea what you just caused?” He bellowed angrily.
I sighed casually and shoulder shrug, infuriating him more. “She’s weak and unfit to be the Luna of Direwood. I’d rather die than mate with that feeble girl,” I answer him confidently.
Her laughs out angrily with his booming voice that could make a anyone shiver—not me. Laughing is a habit he does when he’s angry to an extreme level.
I clear my throat and shifted uncomfortably. I was standing before the strongest werewolf Direwood ever had or even any pack—I have to be cautious around this man.
He points a finger at me, narrowing his eyes that glowered with ferocity. You’re getting married to Nora Fred of Greenbell pack in a month. Dare to disobey my order, you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.” He announced in a thick, threatening accent.
My stomach churned, not because of what he had just said but because he takes every bit of word he says extremely.
“She’s coming to see her new home in two days. Prepare to welcome her or you know the rest.” With that, he storms out of my house, leaving me bewildered.