7. No More

7. No More
I felt the first shift. I heard the whining of Cho Cho that seemed too far for my liking. It was panic laced through his sounds. My eyes seemed too heavy, and it was difficult to pull them open.

Another shift and this one just beneath me.

The water that had gathered around starts swishing to the side of my tent. My muscles felt like jelly and uncooperative to deal with. A strong sense of warning shoots through me like a tidal wave screaming at me to get my ass up. But everything was just so slow.

Finally lifting myself to an elbow, I blink my eyes open with difficulty and that was when I saw that half my tent was caving in on the other side. It was like the awakening that my body needed as adrenaline flushes through my blood, promptly forcing my legs and arms to move a bit faster than they were before.

Another shift in the ground in the left corner and I watch in horror as the tent drastically crumbles further. I scramble as fast as I could to get myself out before I was buried along with it. Because a sinking realization nearly may have come too late.

The bank of the river was falling, and I was in the middle of it.

Just reaching the flap I fling myself out just as the ground finally gave way into a muddy river that rushed by dangerously close to my feet. I barely escaped with half my body clutching the ground that was still intact, with the river about five feet below me. I scream out in panic hoping someone would hear and help me.

But when my eyes focus, I soon see that all the tents were now gone, the horses no longer tethered to the nearby trees and that I was completely and utterly alone. But while my mind was racing like wild horses in the plains I didn’t have time to think about what all this meant as the earth beneath crumbled more, the rain hitting my body like it was desperately trying to get me to fall.

I instantly grabbed onto a root that bared itself from the falling earth and hung on for dear life with the deafening river beating just below me. My muscles were starting to scream, and the haze of my fogginess was dissipating quickly. While I hugged the thick root close to me, my heart racing and my lungs finding it hard to breathe, I couldn’t help feeling like crying.

I knew it felt odd for this trip, knew that something was wrong. Even Cho Cho felt the anxiety and I should have listened. But to ever think they would have taken it this far was something I never thought was possible. Did they all really hate me that much that they would abandoned me like this? I was just a child, someone who showed nothing but respect to them, even though I was shown nothing but contempt.

With difficulty I reach up higher on the root hoping to gather more ground before this tree decided it wanted to join the catastrophe that was below me. I pull has hard as I can, trying to get a hold of the dirt on the side but it just kept falling away as I try to get a good footing.

Then I felt a giant jerk and my body slides down at fast speed towards the angry river. My heart nearly jumped out of my body my breath caught in a dead stop. My arms tightened around the root that suddenly came undone from the earth and the large tree tipped sideways only to stop drastically from its other roots that refused to let go from their hold.

The rain was making this all so hard and tears ran down my face as death overwhelms me to my core. This wasn’t fair, I couldn’t just die like this. There was no way I was just going to let my life end here. I was too young, I still wanted to see more of the outside world. There was just so much more I wanted to learn.

With a newfound energy I pull myself up with all the strength I possessed. Suddenly an icy cold feeling submerges into my skin and straight to my bones. With teeth clenching and determination overflowing, I felt a sense of relief from the struggle, my muscles felt like they bulged a little more, became stronger and less strained.

Suddenly I was able to pull myself with no difficulty whatsoever. I wasn’t sure where the strength was coming from, but I wasn’t questioning it. I finally reached the edge and quickly pull myself over and away from the crumbling earth. Turning to stare at the mess the river and rain was making, a loud rumble speared through the night and a crunching was deafening.

I watch in both fascination and horror as the tree that kept me alive finally give way and fell into the muddy, raging, waters causing a loud splash. I watch as the river takes it down and completely engulfs the thing.

Scooting further back just in case the ground wants to continue to give way my hand hits something hard and I jerk my gaze to what it was. My entire being stills like a statute. I stare at the entrenching tool that just lied there on the ground, covered in wet dirt.

Slowly lifting the shovel my mind raced for an explanation of why it was out here left like this and somewhere near where I was sleeping. Then it finally clicks. My hand tightens around the handle with my breathing coming in angry and heartbroken gasps.

They didn’t just leave me to die. They planned on it.

Every fiber in my body roared with a burning fire within me. I may not see them, but I could feel the piercing glow of my eyes brighten with a slow rage that settles deep in my soul. Many questions ran through me at fast speed wondering if my father, the king, had anything to do with this.

I tried so hard to be what they wanted me to be. I tried so hard to be someone normal, to be as small as I could so they wouldn’t be afraid, hoping that one day maybe they can warm up to the idea that I wasn’t dangerous.

All I wanted was to be accepted, to be wanted. I never showed any of them hostility, anger, keeping my abilities at bay so they wouldn’t be scared. I even smiled when my heart felt nothing but pain and sorrow. I let them treat me like a dog, like a lowly commoner, a freaking nobody just so they could feel at ease.

But why? Why did I have to be the one to change when I didn’t do anything wrong? I’ve never hurt anybody, never used my abilities or status to bring them down. Without any control angry tears fell with the pouring rain down my cheeks.

They all wanted me dead.

The thought and knowledge was the final straw of taking in all their bullshit and torture. I was done. Slowly getting to my feet I grip the tool even tighter, feeling the wood splinter from the force. Breathing heavily, I stare off into the distance of where my home was held.

No more hiding. No more pretending. No more acting that I was the burdened one.

A new sense of purpose flows into me and I let all the desperation of feeling that I had to prove something to all of them vanish. I was done.

“If it’s an abomination you want, then it’s an abomination I’ll be.” I whisper into the raging night.