Chapter 39

(*Rylan*) 

I ask myself if I can simply love a man for who he is and not for what he did in the past. Annora made it sound so easy, but I know it's not that simple. There is too much doubt in my head right now, and I don’t like it.  

Aaron has never lied to me before, and I can’t get over the feeling that he has now. There is just no way that he is telling the truth about not sleeping with Charlie. Right? He has to be lying.  

“Rylan, I want you to listen to me,” Annora says quietly. “I know how hard it is to love a man who was once very promiscuous. I also know what it is like to be loved by said man. Aaron loves you, and anyone with eyes can see it. He fought it for his reasons, but he isn’t anymore. One thing I know for sure is that when he loves, he loves hard and completely. Have faith in him and believe him when he tells you he didn’t do what you assumed he had.”  

I stare at her like she was the wisest person I have ever met. I open my mouth to say something in response, but even I have to admit that she is right. Aaron has never pretended to be someone that he isn’t. He has never made me any promises that he hasn’t kept. He has also never lied to me.  

That I am aware of.  

“What should I do, Annora?”  

“Do you love him?” She asks as she gently rubs her belly.  

I nod my head. When she reaches out to take my hand, I let her. “I really love him.”  

“Then stop letting something you assumed happened get in your way of being happy with the man you love. Go out there and get your man.”  

I smile, then stand up and help her to her feet. She leans in to hug me, and it makes me feel better about my situation. This talk helped me more than I can say.  

“Thank you for this, Annora.”  

“We are family, so, please, call me Annie.”  

I stare at her with a tight feeling in my chest. This woman sees me as family, and that means so much to me. Considering all that I have dealt with from my family, hearing this woman call me part of her family makes me cry.  

Annie pulls back and looks at me with concern. “What is wrong? What did I say to make you cry?”  

“You consider me part of your family.”  

She frowns at me. “Why does that make you sad?”  

“My family sucks. I am not really close to any of them. My mother is a raging bitch and the biggest hypocrite that I have ever met. The man I call my father just told me he has cancer and is getting divorced from my wicked stepmother after finding out she was a cheating whore.”  

I pause and a ragged sob. I feel Annie’s arms wrap around me again. She just holds me while the damn holding of all my pent-up emotions comes crumbling down.  

Eventually, my sobs subside, and I pull away from Annie. I am sure my makeup is destroyed, but I feel a little better. Sometimes a good crying session helps the soul. At least that is what my grandmother used to say when I was upset about something.  

To Annie’s credit, she remains quiet while I put myself back together. As I go to stand again, there is a soft knock at the bathroom door. I know instantly who it is. Quinn has come for his woman. 

I help Annie off the sofa. She gives me one more hug, then walks to the door. After unlocking it, she opens the door to reveal an anxious-looking Quinn. Aaron is right behind him, and our eyes lock instantly. 

“Is everything alright in here? You two have been gone for nearly thirty minutes.”  

I watch as he wraps his arms around her. The kind of love that they have is the stuff of fairytales. They achieved that dream, and that is something I never realized I wanted so badly until this moment right here. 

I want it all with the man staring at me like I am his entire world. In my fit of jealousy, I overlooked what was right in front of me. He may not be perfect, but he is mine now. 

Annie turns to look at me before she allows Quinn to pull her away. I give her a nod, then turn towards the sink to fix my makeup. I hear the door close, and a moment later, I feel warm arms wrap around me from behind.  

Aaron buries his face in my neck and just holds me while I fix my face. As soon as I click my bag closed, he spins me around to face him. There is anguish in his eyes, and I hate that I put it there.  

“Let’s find a quiet place to talk.”  

He nods his head, then reaches for my hand. I lace our fingers together and let him lead me from the room. As we exit the bathroom, a flash of blue silk catches my attention. Someone just rounded the corner not far from the door. 

Someone was just outside the door and left before they could be seen.  

That is odd.  

I shake off the weird feeling and concentrate on Aaron. He is leading into what looks like a small conference room. Once inside, he locks the door. Normally, that would send a thrill through me at the thought of being alone with him and what could happen in here.  

Naughty thoughts. 

Dirty, sexy thoughts.  

However, for once, I am not thinking about getting this man naked. I need to set things right with him and apologize for being a jealous shrew. He did nothing wrong, yet I acted like he did. 

I walk to the floor-to-ceiling window, then turn back to where he is still standing at the door. I take a deep breath when he turns to face me. My insecurities and doubt in him have hurt him more than I can say. Now I have to make it right.  

“I am sorry, Aaron.”  

“For what? Being a jealous harpy or not believing me about Charlie?”  

“Both. I saw something and wouldn’t budge on what I perceived to be true. I was wrong to do that when you told me the truth, and I was wrong to doubt you. That was my past rearing its ugly head, and I lashed out in a nasty way.”  

“We are not our pasts, Rylan. Stop letting what your parents did to you rule your life. I know that there are a lot of emotional crises on both plates right now, but we are not our trauma.”  

“I know that now, and I am so very sorry that I ever doubted you. I know better than that, and I still couldn’t stop the ugly thoughts.”  

He walks to the conference table and leans back against it. I watch as he rubs a hand down his face. Before I know it, I am standing in front of him. I pull his hands away from his face and place one hand on his cheek while holding the other. 

“You are not the man that my shitty thoughts made you out to be, and I know that. It is why having those thoughts was so horrible. I knew it then, and I know it now.”  

“Do you think we rushed into this thing between us?” He asks with fear in his eyes. Fear and pain that I put there by my actions and words. 

His question takes me by surprise, and I just stare at him. Where the hell did that come from? Did my attitude over this Charlie issue cause this?  

“What? Why do you ask that?”  

“I fought this thing between us for so long, even though it was all I wanted. Now that we are doing this, it feels rushed suddenly. Like we take each other for granted just because of our history.”  

Oh. 

“So, what are you saying?” Emotions clog in my throat as I fight back tears. He is going to break up with me.  

“I don’t know what the fuck I am saying or even thinking. All I know is that what happened in that elevator and all these doubts you have are not good for either of us.”  

“Are you ending this?”  

Aaron frowns at me. “That isn’t what I said at all, Rylan. We need to work through it like any other couple does when they hit rough patches. Neither of us are quitters.”  

“Then what do you want to do? Take things slower.”  

He nods his head, and I feel a rush of relief go through me. He isn’t ending us at all. Maybe he is right, and we are moving too fast. Yet, I think we are on the right track without the need to slow down.  

We can do this.  

Right? 

(*Aaron*) 

I watch as an array of emotions crosses Rylan’s face in rapid succession. Shock, fear, sadness, then acceptance and determination. Her face has always been so expressive. Every emotion she feels crosses her face, and she wears her heart on her sleeve. 

It is one of the things that drew me to her. 

She feels everything deep inside and isn’t the robot that the Army tried to make her and the rest of us. 

“Hey,” I say when she looks down at our joined hands. 

Her brilliant blue eyes meet mine with a shimmer of tears in their depths. I remove my hand from hers, then pull her into my arms. With her right here, all feels well. Like two puzzle pieces fitting together. 

Cliché, I know, but that is how it feels. It has felt like that every time I have held her in my arms. She is my safe space, and I need to do better so that she can feel like I am hers, too. 

“I am not ending us, Rylan. Not after I finally have you as mine. All I am saying is that we should slow down a little. I have wanted to hit the finish line with you since that prick attacked you in the storage closet.”  

“THAT was the tipping point for you?” She asks in shock. “What do you mean by finish line?”  

“Not at all, but it was the driving force behind me crossing the line at your house after. The finish line is what Quinn and Annie have right now. I want that, Rylan. With you, the only woman that I have ever loved. Well, other than my mother.”  

I give her a shy smile as she just stares at me in surprise.  

“You want to have that forever dream with me?” Her voice is quiet.  

I nod my head. Her face lights up, and she gives me that megawatt smile of hers that has always made my heart beat faster. She throws her arms around my neck, then goes up on her tiptoes to kiss me. 

This kiss feels very different from all our other ones. Something amazing has shifted between us. I keep the kiss light and tender just this side of PG-13 before it turns R-rated. As much as I would love to sink into her right now, I know that sex clouds the brain.  

Speaking of clouded brains, I decided to come clean with who I think Charlie is to her. This is going to piss her off to no end. I should have told her my stupid theory last night, and so much of this fight might have been avoided.  

I break the kiss and cup her cheek with one hand. She tilts her face up to look at me. The smile on her face makes my heart happy. 

“Now, this isn’t a proposal, but I want you to know that one day down the road, there will be one coming. You are it for me, Rylan, and you have been since you stepped into that damn base camp.”  

“I am sorry that I didn’t believe you about Charlie. You are not a liar, and I should have had faith in you. We can slow down, go on those dates you talked about, and do things that regular couples do. Do you think we should take sex off the table for now?”  

I would like to have sex with her on this table right now.  

“Oh, hell no, woman! I am addicted to what only you can give me. So, are we good now? If so, I am about to piss you off again.”  

“Yes, we are good, but if you don’t fuck me on this table right now, we will be bad again.”  

Holy shit, that was hot, and my cock agrees. 

I wrap my arms around her, spin us around, then lift her up and place her ass on the table. She lets out a surprised squeak that I quickly silence with my mouth. This wasn’t my plan, but I am all on board now.  

My hands slide down her hips and I thank the designer gods for the short front of her dress. Rylan’s hands make quick work on getting my erection free of my pants. Reaching up under her skirt, I slide her panties to the side and rub her clit with my thumb before I slip my index finger deep into her drenched pussy.  

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” I whisper huskily after breaking the kiss.  

“I want this,” she squeezes my cock in her hand. “Right where that finger is.” 

She moans softly as I slip another finger inside. I hook my fingers, so I can hit that spot, and her head drops back as I thrust my fingers in and out of her tight pussy. I reach my free hand up to catch her head. 

The long column of her throat is too tempting to resist. I lay a trail of kisses up her throat from her pulse point to her jaw. She moans softly, and all I want to do is make her scream my name out in pleasure. 

That can wait until later tonight.  

I get her to the edge of an orgasm, then stop to replace my fingers with my cock. It only takes two thrusts, and she explodes underneath me. I quickly move my mouth over hers for a kiss so that none of her moans can be heard. 

This, just like the kiss earlier, feels different.  

It is like telling her what my end goal is and having her agree with it for us, which has made all the walls between us crumble. Now all there is are feelings. Every stroke of my cock in her hot core feels so much better than it did before.  

What they say is true about being in love with another person and them feeling the same way is true. That feeling of being in love makes everything feel better. I just pray that it never fades like some love does.  

What I feel about Rylan is everything.