Chapter 280 FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT
Edeline
Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. This could not be how the moon dealt with a she-wolf like her.
“Come on, Tatiana. Fight!” I urged, giving her another round of breaths, my heart racing in desperation.
Then, out of nowhere, she coughed up cold water, sputtering as she rolled onto her side. Her hands gripped my arm tightly as she choked, and relief washed over me. But it quickly morphed into anger as I shook her shoulders, our eyes locking. She groaned, looking utterly defeated.
“Why, Edeline!? Why do I always get saved!? Why could you not just let me die!” she cried, her voice rough, raw from the cold water. “I am so tired. Like, really tired…”
“No!” Frustration bubbled over, and I released one of her shoulders to slap her across the face, then grabbed her, shaking her hard. Her eyes widened in fear. “Tatiana, come on! Chill out! You cannot be this selfish right now! Your dad just got you back, and he is really struggling with everything that has happened! Do not even think about hurting him like that! He loves you, and you mean everything to him! Stop stressing about Nixx and Mirabelle! Seriously! I did not go and off myself, did I?!” My voice cracked, and I shook her shoulders, kneeling there, soaked and freezing above her, letting my anger out.
“You have not even given it a shot! You have been so sheltered, Tatiana! But it is time to change that! Fight for what you believe in and what you want! Stop being so hard on yourself! You cannot just throw in the towel; that is not the way to go! I know it is tough to deal with your feelings, but talk to someone! Get some training in! Do anything but wallow in self-pity! A mate bond is not the end of everything!” My throat felt raw from all the shouting.
She glanced up at me with her big brown eyes, as if she was seeing me for the first time.
I tightened my jaw, frustration boiling inside me. I was so tired of these wolves looking for an easy way out. Life was not a walk in the park. It was selfish to give up like that. “You are not doing that again, Tatiana.” My glare combined with the chilly wind made her shiver.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps crunching on twigs. I turned my head just in time to see Conor stepping out from the trees, an axe in hand, with one of his loyal wolves by his side.
He finally registered what he had seen, and the realization clicked in his mind. He dropped to his knees in front of us, looking lost.
“Tatiana, why?” Conor’s voice shook, filled with raw emotion. “Is it because of the mate bond? Tatiana, don’t…” A tear slipped from his pained eyes as he crawled closer to us, his big frame still towering over me, even on his knees.
I leaned back to give them some space, and he shot me a grateful look before turning his attention to Tatiana, pulling her close as she cried. “Hey, Tatiana, just stop for a sec!” he shouted, tears streaming down his face as she broke down in sobs.
The weight of the moment was overwhelming for me. I could no longer hold back my own emotions, and tears spilled down my cheeks. Axe was standing nearby, holding some blankets. He quickly wrapped one around me, and I turned to thank him, glancing back at the heartbreaking scene in front of me with blurry eyes.
Conor lifted the sobbing Tatiana into his arms, holding her close while I grabbed another wool blanket to wrap her up. His watery midnight eyes locked onto mine, filled with gratitude. “Thanks for saving her,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Those eyes shimmered with tears, just waiting to spill over.
I gave a quick nod and a tight smile, stepping back to let them have their moment as Tatiana cried into his chest. Conor hustled back toward the packhouse, giving her a gentle squeeze.
The other guy nodded at me before heading out. Axe looked at me, his expression sad but sincere. “Edeline, you have no idea how much you helped, not just Tatiana, but Alpha Conor too. You are really awesome.” He squeezed my shoulder and shot me a warm smile while I wrapped myself tighter in the wool blanket.
He turned and followed their path, leaving me alone with my thoughts as I shivered from the cold.
Am I a cool wolf?
What just happened?
Was Tatiana really in such a bad place that her body was begging her to give up? Percival had turned out like that too…
With a shaky sigh, I took a deep breath and strolled over to the packhouse, craving a nice hot shower, eager to act like none of this had happened. My mind spun with all kinds of “what ifs.”
Now I understood what Tatiana had been saying earlier about wanting me to support Conor. She was thinking about ending it all or giving it a shot, staring out at the pond the whole time. Her mind was not what it used to be.
It seemed like everyone was always looking out for me, and now I found myself helping someone I never expected to. I really hoped she would take my words to heart, become more physically fit, and deal with the pain by adding a bit more to her life for now until she figured it out.
You can’t even handle your own emotional stuff, my subconscious chimed in, as if to remind me.
I just hoped my brother did not lose his partner. Friends were a special treasure, and everyone deserves a chance to turn things around.
So can our buddy...
My mind was definitely running wild tonight.
After dragging my cold, shivering self through the doors of the packhouse, I noticed wolves looking at me with curious eyes. They probably looked shocked to see Conor carrying Tatiana to the clinic. I made my way up to my room, ready for a hot shower—as hot as I could make it. Afterward, I threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie, desperate to wrap myself in warmth.
I needed sleep. I felt numb from the cold and the truths my conscience and wolf had thrown at me tonight. I was trying to get a better handle on myself.
I needed to figure out how I felt about my own partner. Yeah, I could agree they were sacred.
Suddenly, Percival’s face popped into my mind, triggering a quick flashback—one of those moments from when we were younger.
Back when I was just ten and he was fourteen. He really thought he was all grown up back then, still looking as good as ever. But I thought he was probably too old to hang out with Darius and me anymore.
He always grabbed my attention.
Darius had always been my best bud. I was really bummed I could not make it to his funeral. It was just too overwhelming. But back in the day… Darius and I were inseparable. I would totally crash at their place for the night, and my eyes would sneak over to Percival, who was always just staring at me. Nixx would be there too, and we would all crack up at Darius and me. But Percival, you know… he would always laugh, then give me that look. I totally had a crush on him back then.
I still remembered the day I skinned my knee after taking a tumble down the front steps at the pack house. Nixx and Darius were cracking up at how clumsy I was, but Percival… he hurried over to me when I was just ten years old. He scooped me up and carried me inside while our brothers kept playing ball outside.
“Sit here,” he said gently, and I felt my heart race. I had such a huge crush on him back then. His eyes were so blue that I often wondered which Crayola crayon they might match, but honestly, there wasn’t a crayon out there that could do justice to that eye color—a blend of sky blue and robin’s egg, topped off with a crystal overlay.
He took care of my skinned knee, spraying some disinfectant on it. He blew on the scrape to dry it, casually spreading ointment before letting me choose my band-aid. I always wanted the blue one since it reminded me of his eyes, but I never mentioned it to him.
He would tidy me up, put the band-aid on my knee, give my boo-boo a kiss, and say his kisses were magic. “Just like your parents’,” he would add, making me feel better in no time.
I chuckled to myself as the memory popped into my head, drifting off to sleep before I could start stressing about Tatiana and Conor.
Percival’s kisses were totally magical, for real.
…
Morning rolled in fast.
As soon as I jumped out of bed, the first thing on my mind was whether Tatiana was alright and if Conor wanted to chat. They were a total mess last night.
I have to admit, I felt a bit jealous that he was hanging out with another she-wolf instead of spending time with me. But it was not really a romantic kind of jealousy. It was that kind of jealousy friends feel when one of them starts hanging out more with someone else. It felt like I was being pushed to the side.
I could not really explain it since I had only had two best friends in my life. Yeah, it was definitely jealousy, and I knew I should not feel that way, but I could not help it.
After my morning routine, I threw on some socks and my Nikes, glancing at the clock as I reached for the doorknob to head out.
5:00 AM.
No one would really be around, except for the warriors looking to get some early training in.
I cracked the door open, took a quick look around, then slipped into the hallway, shutting the door quietly behind me.
Right as it shut, the door across the hall swung open, and I turned just in time to catch Rasheda sneaking out of Conor’s room. The dress she wore last night was all wrinkled, her stilettos dangling from her fingers, her hair a mess and smelling like Conor and sex.
I felt anger boiling inside me. Can you believe his nerve? His own daughter had almost hurt herself last night, and he still found time to pull an all-nighter with this girl? Who was hanging out with Tatiana?
She turned, and our eyes locked. Her hand flew to her chest as she gasped, honey eyes widening. “Whoa! You totally scared me!” A smile popped up, and she looked a little embarrassed for getting caught.
I folded my arms, narrowing my eyes at her. “Why isn’t Conor with Tatiana? She almost died last night…” I managed to keep the edge out of my voice, but it was tough. He had been acting like he was the only one that mattered lately.
Her eyebrow shot up, looking a bit uneasy. “So, like, he was with her the whole night. He rolled back in around 3 AM just to catch some sleep and chat for a bit.” Her expression shifted, taking on a chill vibe. “Come on, Edeline, cut him some slack. He has a ton on his plate right now. Tatiana is really stressing him out. He genuinely cares, believe me. He just needs a little distraction; you know how guys are.” She offered a tight-lipped smile before turning away, her hips swaying as she strolled down the hallway to the stairs.
Am I really that clueless? Am I being too harsh?
And jealous?
Yeah, I am totally woman enough to admit that I am feeling jealous that he has been chatting with this girl, sharing thoughts with her, especially about Tatiana. I am probably being a bit selfish with my jealousy. Conor has been my go-to since I got here. Now he is pushing me aside, swapping me out for another girl when I thought we were really close. He has been my one real buddy over the last few months. He helped me climb out of the dark hole I was stuck in! And Tatiana? She really needs him. Why chat with some girl who has no clue about what is going on when he could be talking to me?
I really want him to chat with me. I want to lend him a hand. I want to help Tatiana, too. I am not sure I can handle things without Conor around, cheering for me.