Chapter 135 A PAINFUL MISTAKE
Edeline
"And also a friendship bracelet, one made of leather that he had woven together himself. We enjoyed the cake and opened the bottle. I had never consumed alcohol before and was surprised by how quickly it affected me. In my intoxicated state, I expressed my gratitude for his friendship."
"That he and Nyra were the only ones there for me. Jack had come to resent me for disrupting his life... and I had no one. Except for William. We started talking about Nyra... It had only been a short while since her passing, around two months. Still so raw. We were both in tears, under the influence, and that’s when my heat hit me. It hit me with full force. As I mentioned, I had no one to guide me through what happens when you experience your heat. I just knew it was happening. My hormones were in the air, and... he couldn’t resist. He looked into my eyes and confessed that all he could think of was Nyra... we had the same eyes. Being a new shifting wolf without my mate by my side... I should have been isolated. But I didn’t know what occurred when you sensed your heat approaching. That night we made a mistake that I will always feel remorseful about, but at the same time, I don’t because it led to Nixx." She smiled sadly before turning to me, her gentle green eyes meeting mine.
I felt a deep sadness as she continued her story.
"The following morning, after the intense frenzy of emotions subsided, we both realized what had occurred, and it left us feeling distraught. We worked together to remove any traces of our presence from the cabin before Jack could discover the truth. We made a pact to keep this incident a secret, as it felt like a betrayal not only to his closest friend but also to his deceased mate. Overwhelmed by guilt, William felt the need to distance himself. Meanwhile, I found myself enduring the agony of my heat alone in the cabin, without the assistance of a healer. The pain was excruciating, knowing that Jack would never come for me."
What she described was exactly what I was about to experience. I couldn't say I fully grasped it yet, but I'll figure it out soon enough. When a female experiences her first shift, she enters her heat cycle. During this period, her body is preparing to bring forth new life. Essentially, it's important to be with your mate... in every sense of the word... or you experience intense pain that feels as if your insides were being seared, from what I’ve heard. You spend the week in agony, desperately longing for relief from the intense heat that engulfs you. Without a mate to provide comfort, the pain feels unbearable.
Local healers often provide females with herbal pain relievers and sedatives to alleviate discomfort when they are not interested in reproducing with their mate or have not yet found a mate. But getting close with your mate is the ultimate way to find relief. Your body craves the embrace of your partner. And if you don't have a companion... The hormones released through your skin evoke a strong desire for physical contact...
It can also drive male wolves crazy. Unmated wolves are unable to resist the temptation, which is why females who are not yet mated are kept separate. They cannot be influenced. A male wolf in a committed relationship, on the other hand, can resist the advances of a female in heat if she is not his mate. A mated female, however, is simply seeking relief from pain. If a single male were to succeed, he would have complete control over getting what he desired, and the female in heat would submit to his desires.
So I could understand a bit of what my mom experienced.
Mom let out a sigh as she fiddled with her ring, lost in the memory of the time when Jack finally understood her pain and came to check on her after what had happened with William. She was in excruciating pain, and no one could hear her cries in the woods. William, feeling too guilty, didn’t return to the cabin. When Jack arrived, it was clear that she was going through her heat. Unable to resist the scent of her hormones in the air, they spent the entire night together, solidifying their bond and marking each other's skin. They spent the following days together, confined to her cabin, simply enjoying each other's company.
I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I understood her implication. They spent the whole time indulging in each other.
"After my intense emotions calmed down, I did not experience any bleeding—not a drop. That was when I realized I was pregnant. I never once considered that it could be William’s. Never. Your father and I had spent so much time together, and I was so innocent. I was certain I was carrying his child. Our connection was so strong that it allowed me to glimpse into his thoughts, and vice versa. We formed a unique bond—one of love. We grew to understand each other deeply, and he joyfully shared the news with everyone. We celebrated our union, and from that moment on, we were inseparable. When Nixx came into the world, your father, at just eighteen years old, became the most amazing dad. He also became an incredible partner. He built this home for us and completed his training, eventually becoming the future beta. The rest, as they say, is history." She smiled wistfully, her eyes reflecting a mix of nostalgia and warmth as she reminisced about her youth.
I could feel the weight of my mom's past mistakes pressing on her, and I no longer harbored any negative feelings towards her. I sympathized with the struggles she had endured. I had been deeply upset by how my dad had treated her, caught up in my own emotions and unable to see the full picture.
I hadn’t thought about what might have happened back then. My mom wasn’t a mean person; she had no idea what was going on until it was too late. I was grateful to have her by my side. I was eager to understand more.