Silvy
I have been thinking hard since I talked with my dad just like he suggested I do. Hell, mine and Goof’s, whatever you want to call it, is all I have been thinking about. Every waking second I think about it. About us. When I wake up in Goof’s arms I think about us. When our baby moves I think about us. When he picks me up from work I think about us. When I saw Meathead lurking in the corners of the ER I thought about Goof. Why? Because he was the one who put Meathead on me for extra protection. While we are curled up on the couch, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me I am thinking about us.
I think about how good it feels to wake up in Goof’s arms every morning and I would hate to lose that feeling. I think about us laughing over dinner while Goof tells me another story from the clubhouse. I don’t want the laughter to stop. I think about the way we seem to have to touch each other while we are cooking together. A hand brush here, a quick kiss there. I think about how much I enjoy it. When I think about it ending I get sick to my stomach. I think about when Goof lays his head on my stomach to talk to the baby while I run my fingers through his hair. All those sweet moments run through my head like a movie.
I even remember all our little fights. Like when I found out Goof had Meathead follow me at work. We fought about it. I didn’t like it. Goof said it was for safety. I caved. Or the stupid fight we had over whether to buy whole milk or two percent. Or the one we had when he would let me drive home from my late-night shifts alone anymore. Either he or Meathead had to drive me home. Or where to put the crib in the nursery. Should it be near the window or not? All of our fights, if you could call them that, weren’t shit. Petty, but annoying. And I’m sure normal for couples. I don’t want to lose those either. As odd as that may sound.
And the sex. Oh, my heaven the sex. I don’t even know where to begin with that. I don’t want to lose that. Or Goof in general. His laugh, his smile, the way he cares for me, the way he smells just getting out of the shower. The way he pretends to be pissed when I steal something from his plate. The way he will cut peppers away from me is because they make me nauseous. And all the little things he does. Like how he knows I like a hot shower after a shift and had it running when I came home. Or my favorite creamer. Or favorite cookies. Goof brought home flowers the other day. He told me he saw them and decided I had to have them. Who does that? Goof does.
He started out as my best friend but somewhere he became so much more. When I looked deep inside myself and let all the bullshit go I found something truly amazing. I found out that I was in love with Goof. I am in love with him. The man has systematically broken through every wall I put in place to keep him out. I don’t even know when he did it so I could stop him. The questions that need to be answered is do I tell him? Can I let go of my fear? How do I tell him? How do I begin to start that conversation? Then there is how does he feel about me? I know he likes me but does he love me? Or is he just in this for the baby? My mind is racing with what if’s and worst-case scenarios.
If I tell Goof I love him it could backfire and he could laugh in my face. Or he could wrap me in his arms and tell me he loves me too. He could tell me it was sweet that I loved him but he was only in this for the baby. So many things going through my head it is giving me a migraine. I need one night to not think. To clear my head. Maybe then I could come up with the answers. To clear my head I came up with a little surprise for Goof who should be home any minute. I cooked his favorite dinner. I went out and bought a sexy outfit for tonight. I made sure to take a long shower where I shaved my legs and trimmed my pussy. I rubbed down every inch of myself with Goof’s favorite lotion. If anyone can help me clear my head it is Goof. And he deserves to be shown how much I appreciated him even if I don’t always say the words.
I needed to tell him in words but I’m not sure how. At least not yet. I know in my heart I will get there. For all of it. Just not today. I had just set our plates on my small two-person kitchen table when I heard the door open. “ Babe, I’m home. Damn, it smells good in here. Where are you?” I can’t help but smile when he calls out. I adore it when he says he is home. “ I’m in the kitchen. Come I have a surprise for you.” I called out. Goof walks in and looks at the table. “ Babe, what is all this?” he asked. “ I made you dinner,” I said like it wasn’t obvious. “ I see that. And my favorites too. What’s the occasion?” He is right about his favorites. I went all out. Grilled Italian chicken, sauteed asparagus, freshly baked rolls, and pasta salad. For the pasta, I had to get the recipe from Merigold.
“ Does it have to be an occasion for me to cook for you?” I asked. Goof walks around the table to me. When he gets within arm's reach he places his hands on my waist and pulls me as close as my belly will allow. He slides his hands along my hips to my back pressing me against him. “ No babe, there doesn’t but thank you,” he says. I slowly slide both of my hands up his tight black tee shirt. He knows I love it and hate it when he wears shirts like this. I love it because I get to see his chiseled chest. Hate it because so can any other woman.
It is just something I have to deal with. Goof is one hell of a good-looking man. Panty dropping good-looking. Women and some men are going to look. Once I reach his neck I wrap my arms around it. I look up into those eyes that I melt into. I love his eyes. I hope our baby gets his eyes. “ You don’t need to thank me. I just wanted to do a little something for you. You do some much for me.” I told him. Goof leans down and gives me a quick but sweet peck on the lips. “ I do things for you because I want. Not because I want something in return,” he said. See what I mean about how sweet he is. “ I know Micheal. That is why I wanted to do it.” I told him.
I lifted up on my toes and gave him a quick kiss. “ Now let’s eat before it gets cold. Then we can move on to the other surprises I have for you.” I said. “ I would hate to see all your hard work go to waste. And it smells so good.” Goof said letting me go. He walks me over to my chair, pulls it out and helps me sit. Always looking out for me before himself. Once he knows I’m settled then he walks back to his chair.
I’m glad we are having a light dinner because I don’t want him to be too full for the other activities I have planned. We talked about his day at work and the upcoming dinner at Merigold’s. It was supposed to be a family thing but Goof wants me to go. He told me he already cleared it with Merigold. I start to try and tell him I don’t think it is a good idea but I stop myself. Why shouldn’t I go? I have known all the girls for a few years now and they are all good friends of mine. The entire club is. At this point, everyone knows about Goof and me so there is no reason to try to hide. So I smile at Goof and say “ Sure I will go with you. I just may be a little late because of work.” Goof grabs my hand and kisses the top of it “ They will understand. I just want you to be there.”
Goof asks me about my day. He knew I had the day off so I told him I puttered around the house. “ I did a little shopping,” I said. “ Oh, yeah. Get anything good?” Goof asked. I won’t tell him everything I got. “I did,” I said. I got up from my seat and over to the counter where I hid one of his gifts. I grab the bag and head back to the table. I give Goof the bag and gather our now empty plates. “ Babe, what is this?” he asks. I shake my head at him “ Silly Goof, you won’t know unless you open it.” I said. Goof sets the bag on the table and reaches in. Once he gets passed the bright-colored tissue paper he pulls out a neatly folded square of black fabric.
He holds the fabric in one hand and pushed the bag aside with the other. I grab the rest of the dishes off the table but make sure I have an eye on Goof as he unfolds the fabric. I watch his eyes get big when he reveals a tee shirt that says “ Proud Renegade Dad.” in white letters. I even had a picture of a motorcycle with a mini bike next to it. Goof clears his throat a few times before he speaks “ Babe, I don’t know what to say.” I giggle “ You could say you like it.” Goof jumps up from his chair and yanks me to him almost making me stumble. I look up at him and can see his eyes are glistening “ No babe. Like it, not a strong enough word. I love it. One of the best gifts ever.” he says. “ One?” I ask. Goof places a hand on my belly and says “ This is the best gift anyone has ever given me.” Damn it he is going to make me cry with his sweetness. How can I not love a man that acts like that?