Chapter 45
Sienna's POV
I drove home on autopilot, the city lights blurring into streaks of gold and red. My hands gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles went white, but it didn't stop the trembling.
The stairwell kept replaying in my head. Hayes's voice, raw and broken—You think being with me would destroy you. The way his hand had tangled in my hair, desperate and furious. The blood on his lip. The way he'd looked at me before he left, like I'd just confirmed his worst fear.
And maybe I had.
Leaving him was the hardest thing I'd ever done.
But if I told him that, if I admitted that his family had threatened me, that I'd signed away my right to ever speak the truth—what would that do to him?
It would destroy his dream.
So I kept driving.
As I approached Harbor View, I looked up at the building and felt my stomach drop.
1204's lights were off.
He wasn't back yet.
For one brief, irrational moment, I felt something close to panic. What if he doesn't come back? What if that was it—what if he's done trying?
I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing my forehead against the steering wheel.
This is what you wanted, I told myself. Distance. Boundaries. No more mess.
But it didn't feel like what I wanted.
It felt like losing him all over again.
I sat there for another ten minutes before finally dragging myself out of the car. My legs felt like lead as I crossed the lobby, got in the elevator, walked down the hallway to 1203.
Inside, I didn't even bother turning on the lights. I just dropped my bag on the couch, my coat slid to the floor, and stood there in the dark, staring at nothing.
My phone buzzed on the coffee table.
I didn't look at it.
I thought about taking a shower. Thought about eating something. Thought about doing literally anything that wasn't standing here like a ghost in my own apartment.
But I couldn't move.
My body felt wrong—too heavy, too hot, too tight. My head was starting to pound, a dull ache spreading from my temples down to the base of my skull. I told myself it was just stress. Just exhaustion. Just the emotional fallout from tonight.
I made it to the bathroom doorway when my vision swam.
I grabbed the wall, blinking hard, waiting for it to pass.
It didn't.
My legs buckled.
I barely made it to the bed before collapsing onto it, my breath coming in shallow gasps. The room was spinning. My skin felt like it was on fire.
I'm fine, I told myself. I just need to sleep.
---
The next morning, my phone alarm woke me up.
The shrill ring pierced my ears. I instinctively tried to reach for it, but my arms felt like lead, completely unable to lift.
I opened my eyes. The ceiling was spinning.
No. The entire room was spinning.
I tried to sit up, but everything went black. My throat was so dry it felt like fire, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, every swallow like swallowing knives.
Just didn't sleep well. I told myself. Just need some water.
I tried sitting up again, this time making it halfway. My hands pressed against the armrest, fingertips stinging with pain—my right wrist was even more swollen, my thumb completely unable to exert force.
The alarm was still ringing.
I looked at the coffee table, my phone screen glowing. 10:02.
Shit.
I was supposed to go to the training facility today to adjust data. I should've been there at eight.
I forced myself to stand, but my knees instantly gave out, and I had to grab the armrest to keep from falling. The entire living room seemed to be swaying, walls, furniture, windows all distorting in my vision.
Calm down. Deep breath.
I let go of the armrest, trying to walk toward the kitchen. With each step, the floor felt like it was sinking. Cold sweat broke out on my forehead, but inside my body felt like it was on fire, my skin burning hot.
The kitchen was only a few meters away, but it felt like walking for a century.
I held onto the edge of the counter, reaching for a glass. The moment my fingers touched the rim, a violent wave of dizziness hit, and the glass slipped from my hand, making a crisp clatter in the sink.
I closed my eyes, both hands bracing against the counter.
No. I need to take medicine.
I opened my eyes, my gaze landing on a pill bottle at the other end of the counter. The anti-inflammatory medicine, but now it looked as far away as another world.
I let go of the counter, trying to walk over.
My feet gave out.
My knees hit the floor, pain instantly shooting through my thighs, but I didn't even have the strength to cry out. I knelt on the cold tiles, hands on the ground, chest heaving violently, each breath feeling like it was tearing my throat.
My phone started ringing.
I wanted to crawl over to answer it, but my arms had no strength to support my body.
The ringtone went on for a long time, then stopped.
Then it rang again.
I lay on the ground, staring at the screen that kept lighting up and going dark, my mind blank.
If I just disappeared like this, would I not have to face anything?
The thought suddenly came to me, startling even myself.
I closed my eyes. My consciousness was fading. In the last bit of clarity, I heard something fall.
Then everything went dark.