Chapter 3

He stared at her, motionless. A shock of surprise on his face, an inadvertent scowl on that excellent mouth.

“Eli?”

It seemed the sound of her voice shook him out of his stupor, and something vivid in those deep blue eyes scorched her. His voice, so long unheard, so often imagined, scraped at her nerve endings as the timbre of it traveled through her. “What are you doing here, Tish? This isn't your neighborhood anymore. Why the hell are you here?”

What was she doing here? Surprise ricocheted in her.

“Tish?”

She had to keep this man away from her. Worse than a druggie, worse than an intruder.

He could hurt her far worse.

She was glad when her voice came out strong. “Last time I checked, I call the shots as to where I hang out, and in what neighborhood.”

His head jerked.

She allowed her gaze to spill over him. She couldn't stop, for the life of her. She scanned him up and down slowly, the bulk of him, a dark shape in the already dark hallway. It was already filling with his presence, the molecules of air rearranging themselves as if he'd never left her side.

Not like he'd been gone for three long years of her life. When she spoke again, she spoke slowly, as if in a dream. "I do. Not you, or any other man."

A wisp of a smile slid over those handsome lips.

Ah, those lips. Once they had signaled so much for her. Delight, worlds of pleasure.

Then trouble. Pain.

All of that in a pair of lips. But that was the past.

He scrutinized her as he stepped forward, and a slash of jagged light from the streetlight outside, prismed by the frosted glass, lit his face. She watched, saw his gaze soften as he looked at her, then crossed the landing in two long strides. His big hands gripped her just above the elbows, squeezed, and her heart thumped in her throat.

And suddenly, she couldn’t move. He towered above her, unmoving as well.

Then the spell was broken. He yanked her close, crushed her against him.

Eli.

The scent of him. Heat, something clean. Masculine. Cold winter air flooded the entryway, but underneath it, there was that trace of him.

Eli. Only him.

But her body warred with her. Part of it was frozen numb. Part of it, already starting to thaw, softened. To mold itself to him. To fit back where she’d always belonged.

And as she did, something distasteful traveled through her, made her stomach literally quell.

This wasn't right. Yanking herself out of his arms abruptly, she stuttered back a couple of steps. Her heart was still hammering like mad, but at least his heat was no longer seeping into her pores.

There was the pain again. Harsher. Slicing now, even though she'd pushed it down to a dull, almost-forgotten ache the last couple of years.

He moved toward her, seemingly unaware of what his body was doing to her. His hands were again on her upper arms, fingers curling around them as if nothing had changed...

As if he had the right?

Her palms landed flat against the rough material of his jacket and she pushed hard against his solid chest. "Don't touch me!"

She saw the surprise, then the confusion, cross his face. Then—and she saw that too—the resignation. But he covered it an instant, as someone long used to schooling emotions. "Sorry. I’m being an idiot. But what are you doing here? This isn't safe. You know the area."

Her eyes widened, and she couldn't stop incredulity from seeping into her expression. Um…yeah? This was the house they were going to buy. She kinda did know the area?

He had the decency to catch himself, look embarrassed, then apologetic. "Well yeah, I know you know it. I've been back myself for a couple of days, just wrapping up some business, so I decided to drive by the old house." He shrugged as he took up residence a full foot and a half away from her. Thank god—she was safe. For the moment. "But it's changed. It's worse. While I was out there, I saw a couple of carloads of dope-heads go by. It’s not safe.”

She spun an angry gaze at him. "Why did you come in here?"

He had the grace to look exasperated. "I saw you. I was just about ready to leave and I saw you come out, pull that thing," he motioned to the tree in the corner, "in here. Seriously, Tish, this is insane. I know you like to do your theatre stuff, but here? In this area?"

She fisted her hands on her hips, glared at him. "No one asked you to come in and check on me. I'm fine."

But it seemed her force-field of leave-me-the-hell-alone had no effect on him. He blew out a sigh. "I just want to know what you're doing here. Especially...you know. Tonight."

And she knew they were thinking the same thought.

What the hell are you doing here tonight when we were here, exactly three years ago, together? On Christmas Eve?

But oh no. The time for him having a direct line to her thoughts and heart were long gone. "My life, my business."

A hurt look flashed across his face, replaced by a look of wooden acceptance. "You're right, of course."

"So?"

"So?"

"What are you still doing here?"

"Hell, Tish. I'm going to catch my breath, if you don’t mind. Just for a few. I'll stay until..."

And figures, he didn't finish the sentence. Stomped into the living room, started pounding his palms against his arms to drum up heat. Leave it to a man to get all physical.

But something twinged in her, and she knew exactly what was going on.

Eli. Protecting her, as he had, years ago. For the whole length of their relationship. Always looking out for her.

Until he didn't.

Until he disappeared from her life and was gone. Like he'd never been there in the first place. Well, there was no need for that. Not anymore.

She followed him into the room and he turned. "I'm a big girl."

He tipped his head in a shrug. “I just don't think it's safe for you here. Or me, for that matter. But at least I can take care of myself."

"That you can."

He jolted, then quickly recovered. “What do you need? I can help you get whatever you're doing done. If it's some theatre thing, I can wait, if it’s not too late. And if that horrible heap out there is your car, I'll follow you wherever you're going, or at least out of this area, until you’re safe.”

"Well actually, there is something you can do for me."

The lines of his body eased minutely, but she saw it just the same.

Oh well, not something she was going to micro-analyze. At least, not now. Every damn second of this was likely going to be hauled out and gone over in detail at a later date. Probably as soon as he left, unfortunately.

And if not consciously, it would surface in her dreams to torment her.

She spoke clearly, unhesitatingly. “Go."

He stopped at her voice, tilted backwards a fraction. "What?"

"Go. Leave.” She didn’t wait a beat. “I don't know why you're here, but..."

Well, the hell with it. A year of waiting, without any word, any explanation, except that stupid note. None of his army buddies had any information for her, either. Not Dare, Nathan, or Mack, close buddies and army friends of his, nor Cole, his platoon leader in Delta North Team, now back on his family ranch out west. Not even Forrest, from BC.

Then the other scant communiqué from him, ostensibly, through Jace, another DNT soldier and friend, a year later.

The information in it had messed up her new marriage for a bit. Her head. Even while she hadn't been really sure it had actually come from Eli. Jace was too kind a man, a confidant at the time, to let her suffer, and she'd almost talked herself into the fact that he'd made it up himself just to keep her heart from being permanently broken. Toss the abandoned girl a bone, let her think she's loved from afar, that there's some greater purpose.

She looked at him, her heart hard. “I was here first. So...get lost."

Harsh words. Her throat actually constricted a bit saying them, and deep down there was that pain, on her right side, in her abdomen, that always kicked up in times of severe stress. The one it felt like she was always ignoring, telling herself it wasn't there. But it didn't matter.

He straightened, and his eyes spoke volumes. A momentary blankness as something glazed over them, then they deadened, for a slice of a second. And then they were normal again, as if nothing was out of the ordinary, and he hadn't been wounded. That she knew was a front. But it seemed there was an immovable wedge of determination in him to keep the pretense going. "Fine. I'll go wait in the car. Do what you need to do. Take as long as you want. When you're done here, we’ll leave."

She shook her head. “No, you’re not getting it. You need to…”

He answered her with a look, almost a smirk, and she wanted to slap him silly.

Wasn’t he listening?

Crossing her arms, she squared her shoulders, planted her feet on the old hardwood. He needed to get the message. "There's nothing here we need to do together. You need to..."

Suddenly, a blast against the front door. It banged open and slapped against the wall as a noise like a gunshot echoed through the old house. Snow and cold air hurtled in, and the door seesawed back and forth crazily, slamming the wall insistently. Whoops and hollers from the sidewalk a few yards away flew through the air, but not in a spirit of revelry. Dark anger was the mood.

Alarm twisted through her as she blinked, watched the sudden scenario unfold. “No!”

But Eli was already there, slamming the thick wood shut against the blast of unforgiving wind. He braced his big boots on the floor, threw his shoulder into it. But he couldn't shove the bolt into the door frame—it wouldn’t catch. "Help me!"

There were already footsteps on the porch, running toward them.

They were in danger. She ran to join him. They slammed their combined weight against the door, and Tish fumbled with fingers gone numb from cold to push the bar lock into place as the door jumped against their hold.