60__To feel

Marc narrowed his eyes at the large flat screen television across him. “You’re sure this will work?”

Amelia nodded.

He tilted his head. “And I won’t fall in love with you?”

She bit her lip and slowly shook her head. “No. You won’t. By using movies, you can see a variety of emotions and analyse your own reaction to them. I think it’s great practice. And this way, I’m not the cause of the feelings you might experience, so it’s safe. You’re safe. The worst that can happen is that you fall in love with a movie character?”

His arms were crossed over his chest, a flat expression on his face. “I see.” He didn’t see at all. He wanted to feel everything he could with *her.* His chin jutted sulkily. He never should’ve mentioned the danger of falling in love.

“Right!” Amelia stood and got the remote. “Let’s start with something light.”

She put in the name of a movie and waited whilst it loaded.

Marc was still and silent, waiting for the film to begin.

“Do you have a favourite genre of movies?” she asked.

“I like documentaries. Science documentaries.”

Amelia stared flatly at him.

Marc glanced at her. “What?”

“Nothing. Let’s watch the movie. It’s a very sad film, maybe it’ll make you cry again.”

He looked doubtful but sat in patient silence.

He glanced at her and then, reaching over, tugged her closer on the sofa. She looked at him in silence, but he didn’t meet her gaze. “The… screen looks better if you sit in the middle of the couch.”

The excuse was valid but not enough for him to pull her right to his side. Amelia nodded, silently accepting it. She would just pretend her stomach hadn’t flipped upside down at his simple action.

Finally, the first scene of the movie began.

Keeping a hopeful eye on his facial expressions, she watched the movie with him.

It was a turbulent story of love and heartbreak, filled with some bitter goodbyes and some tearful reconciliations. Not only was it romantic love, but platonic love too. Betrayal between friends, unsolved misunderstandings between family. It was one of Amelia’s favourite comfort movies, it never failed to make her cry.

An hour later, the film was nearly over and she was sniffling into a bit of tissue, dabbing at her tears. With a start, she remembered to check his reaction to the show and glanced at him.

Marc was even more expressionless than he’d been at the start of the movie.

Blinking away tears, she looked at him. “Well?”

Slowly, he faced her.

“What do you think, so far? This is one of the most heart-breaking scenes, where she finds her sister unconscious in the flat.”

The screen flashed a slow-motion scene of the female lead character running alongside her sister’s gurney in the emergency room, muted cries of desperation etching heartache into her expression.

Amelia was in tears, shaking her head. “It’s so sad! She was on her way to make up with her sister! She didn’t even get the chance to make things right!”

Silently, Marc passed her a tissue.

“Thank you!” she cried, blowing her nose.

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, patting it to console her.

The next scene showed a funeral. Amelia was bawling.

“Isn’t it so sad?!”

Marc blinked, nodding. “Ah, yes. Quite sad.”

“I mean, if only she’d come a moment earlier. They could’ve made up. She loved her sister so much!”

He nodded gravely. “Indeed.”

Sniffling, she looked at him. “How does this scene m-make you feel?”

He tilted his head, glancing at the screen as he thought it over. “Well, for one, I acknowledge that she must be quite heartbroken as that was her only remaining family member.”

“Yes.”

“But I believe it would’ve been cheaper to have a cremation. She’s struggling to get by as it is, a cremation would’ve been more affordable.”

Amelia blinked. Holding the tissue to her nose, she stared at him.

Marc raised a brow. “Wrong… answer?”

She sighed, petting his shoulder. “There are no wrong answers, old chap, only odd ones.”

“That was an odd answer? Well, I think it was a pretty logical one.”

“But logic doesn’t really fit into this scene, Marc. That burial was the last thing she could’ve done for her sister, she may have wanted to spend a bit more.”

“A bit more what? Leaves? Considering that she doesn’t have money.”

Amelia’s mouth fell open in speechless shock. Biting her lip, she stared into space. A snort broke out and she covered her mouth, closing her eyes. No. This was no time to laugh.

“Okay.” She stood. “Next movie.”

He nodded.

She turned to him. “Are you okay with this method? Do you think it might work?”

He looked up at her and it took a split second to see the shining hope in her eyes. The rapid denial was on his tongue, but he held it back. Slowly, he nodded. “Yes. I like this method.”

Her face lit up with happiness and Marc felt an odd warmth spread through his chest.

“Great!” She grabbed the remote and sat beside him, even closer now.

“Wait.” She stood. “Food.”

She raced out of the room and he stayed completely still, waiting patiently for her.

Perhaps he *was* enjoying this. It was late at night and it was just them seated together, watching movies. A slight smile pulled at his mouth. He liked it.

Amelia came hurrying back into the room, her arms full of snacks.

Glancing at Jamie’s monitor, she set everything on the couch and then plopped down beside Marc. Close, but not enough for him.

He wanted to pull her into his side. He missed her warmth, missed the feeling of her against him. Holding back wasn’t as easy as he’d imagined, but he did it anyway. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

Soon, her movie was playing and she bounced excitedly beside him. “This is a good one!”

“Is it another sad one?” he asked.

She looked at him, curiously. “Why? You didn’t like the sad one?”

He thought about it. “I didn’t dislike it, per se. It made me feel… unpleasant.”

Amelia looked at him for a moment and then slowly smiled. “That’s good.”

“It is?”

She nodded. “Do you want to report any developments to a psychiatrist? I can get you in touch with one.”

He shook his head. “I have one. A psychiatrist. I’ll discuss any changes with him.”

“Is he… good?”

He slowly nodded and a smile faintly touched his lips. “Don’t worry. He’s great.”

She nodded, satisfied. “I really hope he’ll say the same thing I am.”

Her eyes turned to the screen and she quickly became immersed in the movie. It took him a while longer because he’d become captivated by her face, studying it in the glow of the TV.

It suddenly occurred to him that it might make her uncomfortable if he stared any longer, so he turned to the TV.

This movie was a less depressing genre. It was an early 2000s romantic comedy, a little bit on the mature side.

Amelia had completely forgotten that there were more than a few heated kiss scenes in the damn film, taken by surprise every time they were faced with a highly stimulating scene. Awkward was an understatement. She sat there as stiff as a scarecrow, praying it would quickly end.

The male lead was a sort of Casanova who had lost his first love to another man. His immediate decision was to, of course, become as promiscuous as he could, trying to flush her out of his system with as many other women as possible.

Amelia was gaping at the screen with a bite of chocolate forgotten on her tongue. Their Casanova was currently leading a wide-eyed lady into his bedroom, his seductive green eyes holding her gaze captive.

Swallowing, she glanced at Marc and paused. His gaze was rivetted to the screen, curiosity sharpening his gaze.

“Uhm…” she started quietly. “Does this scene make you feel shy?”

He slowly shook his head. “No.”

She nodded, turning back to the screen with her bottom lip tightly bitten between her teeth. It was ridiculous, they were both adults, she didn’t know what made her feel so shy.

The couple on the screen tumbled into his bed, limbs intertwined as they kissed passionately.

Her cheeks were flaming and Amelia was torn between being mature and letting the scene play or quickly skipping it.

She peeked at Marc, but he was at ease, watching the movie.

The camera followed the male lead’s hand as he slowly stroked it up her leg, softly caressing her. The shot that captured the kissing left nothing to be desired, lasting long enough to make Amelia squirm.

The scene slowly faded to the next and the actors no longer had any clothes on. Amelia’s eyes went wide.

No shocking parts of their bodies could be seen, but the woman clutching the man against her as his hips, under the covers, moved in a rhythmic fashion was enough to have Amelia highly frantic.

She couldn’t do this.

Her hand reached for the remote.

Marc caught it. “Don’t.” His eyes didn’t leave the screen.

Biting her lip, Amelia looked at him. “It… doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”

He shook his head. “No. I find it interesting. The one he loves is the lawyer. Yet, he’s able to have different sexual partners. Has he ever considered that maybe he doesn’t love the lawyer at all?”

She blinked at him. She’d gotten so stressed by the kiss scenes that she hadn’t realized how invested he’d gotten.

“Yes, uhm… some people are able to sleep with other people whilst they’re in love with someone else.”

He nodded slowly, clearly displeased. “I see. They separate emotional and sexual intimacy. Like you.”

She narrowed her eyes, pursing her lips. “This literally has nothing to do with me.”

“I’m sorry. This scene makes me think of you.”

She stared at him. His voice was raspy and quiet, having an effect on her that was both soothing and nerve-racking.

His gaze didn’t turn from the screen at all and she found herself captivated by him just the way he was staring at the screen.

“When I see that… Watching them do that…” he said. “I can’t help but think of you.”

She swallowed hard, staring at him. “Does… does it make you feel… unpleasant?”

He slowly shook his head.

“How does it make you feel?”

“I feel… hot. Envious. I want to do that. With you.”

Her eyes were wide, staring at him. He was always so unabashedly honest and she was sure he had no idea that it threw her whole mind into chaos.

Struggling to remain composed, she lowered her gaze. “Oh… uhm… that’s normal.”

“It is?”

She nodded. “Of course. Seeing a scene like this can stimulate our own sexual appetite and it’s completely normal.”

His gaze finally turned from the screen, coming to rest on her face with deep intensity. “Really? It’s normal even for you?”

She nodded.

Amelia didn’t realize why but his eyes darkened, the pupils slowly dilating. “So, it has the same effect on you?”

Her cheeks grew red but she bravely met his gaze. Unfortunately, her bravery wasn’t enough for her to respond.

Apparently, Marc wouldn’t be satisfied with no answer.

Slowly, he leaned toward her, making her hold her breath.

“Well?” he whispered. “Does it? Does watching them have sex turn you on too?”