Chapter 27: I Want To Be Your Submissive
Jasper
Chidi and I introduced ourselves a little better and I learned that he had indeed been a submissive for about a decade and doesn't wish to change his status. Ever since he joined the lifestyle, he has been alternating between different phases of stability and wildness as he calls it.
There are periods during which he accepted contracts with dominants for a short term of three months, though one of them lasted for a whole year and another during which he just jumped from one dominant to another for one-night stands. When I asked him why he terminated the one-year agreement, he said that the dominant was looking for a more permanent and more affectionate relationship which he wasn't ready for.
“At the end of the day what matters to me was the absence of feeling because I didn't want to get emotionally attached to anyone. I didn't mind a relationship that could last for a few months or more once in a while but I needed my independence. I could bear having to stay at Dom's house for the weekend and a week night once in a while but I didn't want to move in permanently.” He explained.
“I noticed the use of the past tense, though.” I said shyly.
“Yes,” he chuckled.
“This is actually changing a bit. I am thirty years old now and maybe I would like to settle down at some point, I love this lifestyle and wouldn't drop it. But I am sure it is compatible with a deeper relationship that involves love. I have seen many of these over the years, and as much as I didn't want something like that when I was younger, I think I might try it at some point. Until I find the perfect Dom, I will just keep on enjoying myself with one-night affairs.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.
“It seems like a good plan, can I ask what submission has brought you?”
“Sure, it is all about letting go.”
“Letting go?” I asked dubiously, making him laugh.
“Being a submissive is just who I am but most of them would tell you the same. What we enjoy in the relationship is the pleasure to give pleasure, but it is not all that. We love surrendering all powers and control to someone we can trust, pleasing this person and receiving encouragement and praises from him. Personally, I didn't have a very happy childhood. I lived in several foster families and never got strong affection or support from any of them.” He paused and took in a deep breath.
“When I was under a contract with a dominant, I knew I would find what I lacked as a child as long as I pleased him. I just can't explain this huge feeling when a dominant praises me after I have done something good. It makes me feel important and also, when you have spent your childhood without much education or guidance, having a dominant pushing you to accomplish goals he has set for you is really nice and it somehow fills a void.”
What he was saying clearly reaches me because we are quite the same at this topic. However, I wonder if it could work in my case, if my parents never managed to educate me well, would Baron be able to do so? Will I be able to submit to him and his rules in order to become a better man like he told me himself?
For two hours, Chidi told me more about his past experiences with dominants, either those he used as one-night stands and the ones he had contracted with. He explained how he felt when he was able to give up complete control to them and how exhilarating it always is during sex. He also told me how important it is to start such a relationship with someone I will trust.
“Even if it is not love, it has to be someone with whom you feel comfortable and that you will trust enough to let go of most of your willpower.”
After we were done, we went back to Baron and apologized for taking too much time talking. I went back home and relished under a long warm shower. My head is so full of thoughts about the last two sessions and my conversation with Child that I can't think about anything else. I loved how Baron's fingers brushed my skin while he was trying the toys on me. I am becoming obsessed with him, and I don't know if this is a good thing or not. He has to offer me a contract to become his submissive, but maybe I should take more time before I make a decision. Yet, I am so scared that I might miss an opportunity. I want to be his, he is such a gorgeous man. So much that I wonder why he doesn't have a submissive already.
There are so many of them at the club and I noticed a few ogling him last weekend. What if one of them suddenly catches his eyes over the next weekend? What if I miss the opportunity? Why wait any longer when I know I want it. I thought again about what Chidi told me, the giving-up, the power exchange, the trust and all these things I have missed in the past. I turned off the water and reached for a towel before I went back to my room and laid sprawled on my bed. I kept rehearsing the same thoughts for long hours, and it was already five in the morning when I eventually fell asleep.
The next morning, or rather afternoon when I wake up, my mind is set. I will do this call, there is no point delaying things any further. I want to be Baron's submissive.
****
Baron POV.
“Paul, the results are good. Great job.” I said to the manager I hired at one of my restaurants.
I have just finished reviewing the figures for the first quarter of the restaurant and I am pretty impressed by the outcome. I didn't think the concept would have such success. Being a lover of foreign cuisine, especially their cheese and wine, I didn't hope it would be successful. But I never thought it would work out well so fast. The concept is rather easy, high tables and stools, good fresh baguette as well as all the best wine. It is perfect for a quick sandwich lunch at noon or for a rapid dinner before you go out for a movie or something. Maybe, I should think about developing the concept in other cities, besides, it is much easier to implement this kind of brassier than a big restaurant.
“Well, it is your idea and a good one as you can see.” He muttered.
“You should see the place at lunch time, it is full.”
“Brilliant, let's keep it as it is for the moment. If it goes on like this, I might open another one or look for a bigger place.”
Either way, this restaurant will grow bigger. So I will have to think about it seriously. I spend another half hour working on spreadsheets in the small room at the back of the restaurant. I still have time before my business meeting with a wine importer.
“Boss, I think your phone has been ringing.” Paul said, walking back into the office and carrying my jacket that I had left behind the counter.
“Thanks,” I said, hearing the device going off again.
He walks out and shuts the door, I fished my phone inside my pocket and can't help a goofy smile at the caller id.
“Good afternoon, Jasper.” I said, purposefully taking a deep voice.
Yesterday, he spent a long time talking to Chidi who good-naturedly replied to all his questions and apparently, there were a lot since it lasted for more than two hours.
“Good afternoon, sir. I am sorry to disturb you, I can call back later if you are busy.” He muttered nervously which makes me smile even wider because he is usually much more boisterous and full of assurance from what I have heard of him so far.
“It is okay, you are not disturbing me, Jasper. How can I help you?” I asked warmly.
“I…umm…I have thought about…I mean…” he cut himself off.
“I have thought about your proposition and if you are still willing to try, I would really like to accept it. I mean, that is if you are still okay to have me as your submissive of course. If you don't want to anymore, I can understand. But if you are ready to give me a chance, I would really like to t…”
“Slow down Jasper.” I interrupted him.
Did he just say he accepted to be my submissive?
“Say that again, calmly and intelligibly.”
“Sorry, sir. I am just a bit nervous.”
“Take your time, Jasper.”
“Okay, I have thought about your offer to become your submissive for long enough and I would like to discuss it further with you.” He said, articulating each syllable.
“You know, for the rules and stuff like that.”
I didn't think he would make his decision so quickly, but I feel my body filled up with excitement already and my dick twitch in my pants.