Chapter 28 If He Can Do It So Can I
Claire
Well, since I’d already said it, there was no point backing out now. And despite how I thought I would feel when he realized I had cheated on him too, I felt nothing. No guilt. No fear. If he could do it and admit it openly to my face, then I could stand here and say the same thing without hesitation.
A small smile curved my lips as I walked over, bent down, and picked up the lingerie he had thrown on the floor. I rolled the fabric between my fingers lazily.
“I asked you a question, Claire,” he snapped, almost barking.
I turned to look at him.
“You know what, Ian? You make me laugh,” I said, meeting his eyes. “You actually thought I bought all this to please you? You’ve got to be kidding.”
I held his gaze. “Just like you went and found yourself a younger girl who doesn’t make your sex life boring, I did the same for myself. And to be honest, I enjoyed every bit of it.”
His eyes widened. He took a step back. I could see it all over his face—he was doubting me, yet at the same time trying to process what I had just said.
He let out a low laugh, but there was no humor in it. “You think you can fool me, Claire? I know you. You can’t do something like that.”
And he was right—about the woman I used to be. But he was completely ignorant of the woman I had become.
I clicked my tongue and shook my head. “You used to make me feel undesirable, Ian. Like it was my fault that you weren’t satisfied, like I was the problem. But let me tell you something—it wasn’t just you who felt unfulfilled. And if you could change, then so could I.”
He charged toward me suddenly. Our eyes locked as his hands clamped down on my arms, his grip too tight, his face burning with anger.
“You’re just saying this to get to me,” he growled. “So I’ll feel sorry for you and go back to how things were. But you’re wrong, Claire. Nothing can ever go back to before.”
Nothing can ever go back to before?
Of course not. You destroyed it.
“You’re delusional,” I said coldly. “To think I still want you. The day you acknowledged your mistress in front of me was the day I lost every bit of love and respect I had for you.”
His eyes shook as I continued. “Even standing this close to me right now irritates me to my core.”
He released me and stepped back.
The look on my face must have said everything, because he couldn’t speak for a moment. He just stared. Then he blinked and said, “I still don’t believe you. You might have lost whatever you felt for me, but you would never cheat. That’s not who you are. You’d think about the kids—about how it would affect them.”
He was right. My children always came first.
But if he could do what he did without thinking about them, who said I couldn’t?
There was no love left in this marriage. And whatever stupid game he thought he was about to play with me—it wouldn’t work. Not even a little.
“Believe whatever you want,” I said, dropping the lingerie onto the bed. “So you really think I can’t do that?”
He stared at me like I had lost my mind.
I reached for the collar of my turtleneck. “I was actually surprised you noticed I was wearing this,” I said calmly. “But do you know what’s underneath, Ian?”
His eyes widened.
“It’s the evidence of my adultery.”
I lowered the fabric just enough for him to see. “Liam is quite rough,” I added with a wicked smile. “He likes to leave his mark.”
I watched him stumble back in horror, his gaze fixed on the reddened skin of my neck.
I watched as the realization slowly sank in. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his gaze lifting from my neck to my face. I let go of the fabric and simply stared back at him.
“You’re lying,” he said, the words slipping out almost helplessly.
I shook my head slowly.
“You did that to yourself,” he insisted, more frantic now, as if trying to convince himself. “You don’t know another man, Claire. You’ve never been with anyone else.”
“And that’s what I hate the most now, Ian,” I replied calmly. “I should have known better. I should have tasted another man a long time ago—should have realized what I was missing.”
Something ugly twisted across his face. His posture stiffened, jaw clenched hard as he bit down on his teeth, rage simmering just beneath the surface.
“And you think telling me this would do what?” he asked, his voice tight, boiling with anger.
“Absolutely nothing,” I said flatly. “But don’t you dare come between me and him the way I stayed out of your affair with your precious Pattie.”
He scoffed and turned his face away. “I bet he can’t even tell you how much you can't satisfy him. No one would want an old hag like you.” The words dripped with venom, meant to wound, meant to humiliate.
But they didn’t.
Because I knew the truth, Liam had told me.
“Not everyone is like you, Ian,” I said evenly. “Not everyone fails to satisfy their partner. And if you had satisfied Pattie, she wouldn’t have left—she wouldn’t have complained about you not being good in bed.”
His entire demeanor shifted. Shock flashed across his face.
“You don’t even know Pattie well enough for her to say that to you,” he said, disbelief lacing his voice. Then suspicion crept in. “Or did you pay her to leave me?”
His voice rose as he stepped forward, clearly ready to demand answers. I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “But I heard it from someone who doesn’t lie.”
That was when he grabbed me again—harder this time. Pain shot through my arms as his grip tightened.
“If I find out you paid Pattie to leave me,” he hissed, “the kids will know everything.”
So now he was threatening me with them.
I met his eyes without flinching, ignoring the pain. “Then I’ll make sure I divorce you and leave you with nothing, Ian.”
He froze.
“I’ll make sure you end up homeless,” I continued coldly. “On the streets. Begging for scraps.”
He released me instantly, his hands dropping as he swallowed thickly.
He shouldn’t have dared me.
Because when I finally lose my temper, I don’t think—I destroy.
He didn’t say anything else. He simply clenched his fists, turned around, and walked out, with anger brewing inside of him. The door flew open and then slammed shut behind him. I wrapped my arms around myself, soothing the ache there as I breathed in shakily.
I closed my eyes, forcing myself to calm down—to steady my breathing. I had told him about my affair. Now we were even. I should have felt satisfied. I should have felt pleased watching him break, watching his certainty crumble. I should have been happy.
So why did I feel like this?
I knew I enjoyed the sex with Liam—far more than I wanted to admit. But a year ago, my life had been peaceful. It was the kind of life people envied. I knew nothing beyond my marriage, beyond my children. That was my entire world, and I lived it with a constant smile.
But Ian—Ian shattered that world.
He broke it and turned me into a woman I barely recognized anymore.
And now that I had tasted more—stepped beyond the walls of my home, seen and felt what real pleasure could be—I had grown greedy.
If I had never tasted what existed outside that life, I wouldn’t have changed this much. But now I knew, deep within me, that there was no going back.
Not unless some miracle found its way to me.