Chapter 169 169

Chapter 169 169
She’s never this combative. The woman is unflappable. It was one of the reasons I’d been so attracted to her in the first place.

“What’s gotten into me?” she repeats. “Are you serious?”

“Marisha—”

“I’m terrified, Artem!” she says. “I’m terrified to bring a baby into this world. It’s not safe.”

“I’ll keep him safe,” I assure her. “I’ll keep you both safe.”

“One of these days, Artem, you’re going to wake up and realize you’re mortal, same as everyone else. You can’t stop death, and you certainly can’t reverse it. I don’t want to lose my child to this life.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you married me then,” I snap back at her.

She flinches away from the bite in my voice.

I regret my tone immediately.

She deserves more than a short-tempered husband who disregards her fears.

“I’m sorry,” I say, reaching for her hand and pulling her to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

She sighs. “I’m so scared for my baby, Artem.”

“Our baby, Marisha,” I correct her. “And I told you, I will protect you both.”

“You promise?” she asks, looking up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.

“I promise.”

I meant that. I really did.

61

Artem

I force myself out of the memory and close the trunk of the car. I look up through the front door of the cabin to see Esme moving around near the kitchen.

Am I repeating the same mistake here? Hadn’t I just promised Esme the same thing I promised Marisha?

Why would this time be different?

I walk into the cabin just as Esme sets our plates down on the table. I join her, but I’ve completely lost my appetite.

“We need more milk,” she says as she drains her glass. “And eggs. And bread. And, um… everything else.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Hey, I’m pregnant,” she reminds me again.

“I know, I know,” I say, lifting my hands up in surrender. “And it’s my fault.”

“Right.” Esme nods, satisfied. “So you need to keep me fed and happy.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” I say, giving her a mock salute. “Do you wanna join me today?”

She thinks about it for a second. “I think I’d rather just stay in the cabin,” she decides. “But if you happen to pass by a book store—”

“I’ll see what they have.”

“Thanks,” she says, with a contented smile. Then her eyes glance down to my plate. “You’re not eating,” she points out.

I pick up my fork cut out a piece of my omelet, but that doesn’t seem to appease her.

“What’s on your mind?” she asks.

“What makes you think there’s something on my mind?”

“That look on your face.”

I smile. “I didn’t realize I was easy to read.”

“You’re not,” she replies. “But we’ve spent a lot of time together lately and I’ve starting picking up on some of your tells.”

“Hmm… that’s dangerous.”

She laughs. “You’re worried?”

“A little.”

“About the Bratva?”

I hesitate. I’ve never been open with my feelings. It was something that used to drive Marisha crazy. She’d ask me what was on my mind all the time, and every time I would reply with the same set of answers.

Nothing.

I’m fine.

Nothing’s wrong.

It’s just Bratva business.

I look up at Esme, at her beautiful, empathetic hazel eyes, and I decide to be better than I was then.

“Yes,” I admit. “I am worried about the Bratva. But I’m also worried about you and the baby.”

Her eyes go soft. She gets up from her seat and walks around the table to me. She sits on my lap and puts her hands around my shoulders.

“I’m stronger than I look,” she reminds me.

I smile, remembering that she had said something similar once upon a time, when we’d still been strangers.

“I know.”

“And our baby is strong, too,” she tells me. “How can he be anything else, with a father like you?”

I detect a note of pride in her voice. It makes me feel like I’m eight fucking feet tall.

I tell myself that I need to be deserving of that pride. I need to make sure she’s safe.

I will not repeat past mistakes.

I will not lose another wife.

I will not lose another child.

“You keep referring to the baby as he a ‘he’,” I point out. “Mother’s intuition again?”

She tilts her head as if she’s just now noticing that tendency. “No, it just comes out that way, I guess. I honestly have no idea what we’re having.” Then she gives me a sneaky side glance. “Do you have a preference?”

“My preference is for healthy,” I say truthfully. “Beyond that, I don’t care.”

She cups my face with both hands and stares at me for a long moment. I can see the optimism shining bright inside her.

The optimism that I lost a lifetime ago, if I ever had it in the first place.

“But I do hope the baby gets your eyes,” I add.

“Yeah?”

“They’re the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s a big statement.”

“Go big or go home, isn’t that what they say?”

She laughs and kisses me softly on the cheek.

My hand settles over her burgeoning belly. I marvel at the changes her body has gone through in such a short span of time. She has a bump now, still small, only in the developmental stages, but it’s undeniable.

She has a glow, too. Though I suspect that has something to do with the mountain air and the absence of stress.

“Now stop worrying and eat,” she scolds, giving me another kiss before moving back to her seat.

We eat our breakfast together. When we’re done, I wash the dishes while Esme spreads herself out on the sofa.

It’s stained and torn in places, but it serves its purpose and even I have to admit, it’s comfortable as hell.

She picks up one of the books she bought earlier than week when we went down into town together. She’s been through three books in as many days and her appetite for them only seems to grow.

I slip my jacket on and kiss Esme on the forehead on my way out.

When I glance back at her, her eyes are fixed on me, a small smile playing across her face.

“What are you looking at?” I ask, wagging my eyebrows at her.

“Oh, nothing,” she replies. “Just… enjoying my view. Go ahead and leave so I can get a look at my favorite part.”

Laughing, I head down to the car. It’s amazing how my mood lifts every time I’m near the cabin, and how quickly it deteriorates the moment I leave Esme behind.