Chapter 60

Jade

I had no choice but to follow my love. I had no choice but to follow my heart. I couldn't let him go knowing that it was a chance I wouldn't see him again. I dreamed of finding him practically my entire life. Even though he rejected me at first he exceeded all my expectations. He was all I could ever hope for in a mate and so much more. There was so much I didn't get to experience with him yet. So much about him I didn't know including why it was so hard for him to let go of his past. Sure I understood his need for revenge. His need to somehow make things right so all the lives that were lost wouldn't be in vain. But what I couldn't understand was why he thought that destroying more lives would be the answer. Why he felt that causing someone to experience the pain that he felt would somehow heal him. But what I wondered most of all was why I couldn't convince him otherwise. Why wasn't I able to get through to him? Why wasn't I enough? 

Those thoughts ran through my mind as I chased his scent. He was fast. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew I was following him. I had to make him listen to me. Somehow I had to get him to see reason. I tried before and it wasn't enough, but I couldn't give up. I didn't know what I would do, or what I would say to him once I got there. Maybe a war was inevitable. But what kind of person would I be if I did nothing? I wouldn't deserve to be part of the chosen. I may not have all my powers, I may not have acquired my full strength, but I was determined.

I don't know how much time passed as I got closer and closer. I could feel my heart racing, adrenaline coursing through my body as I willed myself to keep going. I was nervous about what was to come. So many emotions flowed through me as I prayed to the Moon Goddess that I wouldn't be too late.

Hunter I knew my beauty would follow me. I knew that no matter what I said or did she would still do everything in her power to remain by my side. She was stubborn. A trait I both loved and hated since we both seemed to have it in common. I knew she didn't understand. I knew no matter how hard I tried I could never truly express to her how much damage was done the day my pack was attacked. I was broken. I don't think I could ever be the same. Having her near me helped. For a while the thirst for revenge didn't consume me. I didn't have nightmares every other night. I didn't black out and wake up surrounded by blood afraid to even think of what I might have done. I didn't make deals with the wrong people or feel lost and incomplete. However, those feeling were never far away. They still lurked beneath the surface taunting me. Seeing Phoenix with the pack that I deserved sitting all high and mighty was pure torture. He deserved to pay for what his father did. He deserved to pay for what he did to me and my mate. Maybe once this was over I could start to live again. Maybe I would finally be able to find peace and leave the past behind me. I could become the mate that Jade deserved. Until then I just hoped that someday she would be able to forgive me, that one day she would be able to understand.