Chapter 32 – Walls around.

Kahit masama na ang pakiramdam at hindi naman hinihingi ni Nate ang presensya niya, Hannah didn't want to leave him. But during times when Olive and Elisha were in the wake, she had to leave.

That she almost forgot. Olive.

There's still Olive in Nate's life. Ito pa rin ang babae sa tabi ng binata at times like this one.

"Hannah," si Adam iyon na nakita siyang nakasilip kina Nate, Olive at Elisha na kasalukuyang umiistima ng mga nakikiramay. Most were just business partners since Nate maintained his family matters private.

Dumating sina Olive at Elisha kanina habang 'andoon pa siya. Pwede na siyang umalis pero hindi niya matiis ang pagkakataon na makita si Elisha kahit hindi niya ito pwedeng lapitan.

"Hey," mahina at matamlay niyang bati.

"Bakit 'andito ka? Magpakita ka kay Elisha," he urged.

"I- i'm not sure kung magugustuhan ni Nate kung basta na lang ako magpapakita kay Eli."

"He have been waiting for you to do that, Hannah."

"How did you know?" matamlay siyang ngumiti sa kapatid ni Nate.

She understood that he was just trying to make her feel better. But certainly, hindi nito alam ang saloobin ng kuya nito. They weren't close to begin with.

"Kuya told me."

"Come on, Nate won't tell you that."

"Hindi ka naniniwala?" kunot noo nitong tanong. "Para sabihin ko sa 'yo, Hannah, okay na kami ni kuya. Close naman kami dati bago mamatay si mama. It's like, binalik namin 'yong dati," paliwanag nitong inakay siyang maupo muna.

"So, he told you about this?"

"Yup, Nate Sarmiento might have felt it na ipapaalam kita sa kanya kaya inunahan na niya ako. Possessive hotelier, tsk tsk," natatawang tugon ni Adam na ikinapakunot ng noo niya. "Hannah, I was serious when I asked if you were single. Because I really really wanted to invite you out for a date."

"Adam–" nailang siya sa matamang titig nito.

"Don't worry," mahina itong tumawa. "Hindi na ngayon. Ayokong magkasira kami ulit ni Kuya. So lahat ng kanya, off limits."

"As if naman. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing. That Nate likes me." Umiling siya. "But honestly, I don't see it. Mula noong makita ko siya ulit, he'd been nothing but a complete jerk to me. Lagi siyang galit. I'm dying to see him smile, Adam."

"You like him, don't you, Hannah?"

"You won't believe me if I say no, would you?"

"It's written all over your face," he grinned.

"Then why can't Nate see it?"

"Because he was hurt, Hannah. Nate Sarmiento is a broken man. He wanted real care. He was longing for real love," tugon ni Adam. "He was starting to believe that you were the one who could give him that, he let his guard down after putting it up so high when dad disowned him. Kaso umalis ka. You shouldn't have done that. You broke him even more."

"I- I didn't know," mahina niyang naiusal.

"So you understand now why he's got walls around him again?"

Tumango siya. Guilt eating her up. Did she really cause Nate to be broken again? Hannah wanted to run and hug Nate so tight and tell him none of the things she did was intended to break his heart.

She thought she was just trying to keep herself whole. Hindi niya naisip that while she was busy protecting her own heart, she had caused Nate's to distrust again.

Hannah found herself almost in tears at the realization of it.

"Hannah!"

Sabay silang napalingon ni Adam sa tumawag sa kanya.

"Liv!" Awtomatiko siyang napatayo, Adam doing the same. Hindi nila namalayan ang pagdating nito sa silid na kinaroroonan nila. It was too late now to run away and hide.

"What are you doing here?" Naniningkit ang mga mata sa galit na tanong nito habang lumalapit sa kanya. Clearly, her friend wasn't very happy to see her again.

"I- I'm here to—!" nagulat siya nang bigla siya nitong sampalin, almost causing her to lose her balance. But Adam was there para alalayan siya. She looked at Olive, her eyes wide in shock.

"Olive, what the hell?" iniharang na ni Adam ang sarili nito nang akma na naman siya nitong sasampalin.

"Get out of the way, Adam!" Galit nitong saad.

"You have no right to hurt, Hannah!" Mariing sabi ng binata.

"Oh yeah?" Nang-uuyam si Olive.

"Liv," humakbang siya palapit sa kaibigan while telling Adam that she can manage. "Please leave us, Adam."

"Are you sure?" Atubili nito.

"Yes. Just make sure Nate and Eli won't know about this."

"Okay," labag sa loob ni Adam ang iwan sila but he obeyed her.

"Liv," baling niya ulit sa kaibigan.

"Ano ang hindi mo pa rin naiintindihan, Hannah? Why did you come back even when you know that we are better without you? My daughter doesn't need you!"

"Hindi ako nagpunta para manggulo, Olive" mahinahon niyang saad.

"Sinungaling! You're here to ruin my family again!" sigaw nito, she was so mad, nawalan na ito ng poise.

"No!" kaila niya. "In fact if you didn't see me now, wala naman akong plano na ipaalam sa inyo na nandito ako. Hindi ko kayo guguluhin ni Elisha."

"Bravo!" Sarkastiko nitong tugon. "So you're here for Nate?!"

"The Sarmientos are my friends. I'm not only here for Nate, Liv. I'm also here for Adam. You cannot change that fact."

"You're such a liar. A subtle snake. Friends?" tuya nito. "Come on, Hannah. You're here for Nate, aren't you? Umaasa ka ba that he has feelings for you too just like how you harbored feelings for him kahit na umpisa pa lang alam mong sa akin na siya!"

"Lower your voice. Please respect their loss. 'Wag kang mag-eskandalo, Olive," pigil ang galit na saad niya.

"Makinig ka sa 'kin. Nate and Eli are mine alone." Patuloy pa rin ang malakas nitong boses.

"Hindi mo kailangang ulit-ulitin iyan dahil naiintindihan ko!"

"Really? Kung naiintindihan mo, dapat wala ka rito ngayon!"

"I already told you! Nandito ako para makiramay."

"Bitch!" Bigla ulit siya nitong sinampal.

"What the—?!" Napasapo siya sa pisngi.

"When will you understand that I will never share my family with you?!" She shouted.

"I am not taking them away from you, Olive!"

"Liar!!! You already did it once! Dahil sa 'yo kaya hanggang ngayon ayaw akong pakasalan ni Nate! Dahil sa 'yo hindi ko mabuo ang pamilya ko!" Bigla itong nag-hysterical at pinagsasampal siya, hampas at kung anong magawa nito habang umiiwas naman siya.

"Calm down, Olive!" Sinisikap niyang salagin ang mga atake nito, she will not stoop to her level at gumanti ng sakitan.

"Calm down? How can I calm down? You're back to ruin me again! I hate you!!! I hate you!!!" Kakaiwas niya, umabot na siya sa wall, preventing her from fending off Olive's attacks. "I hate you!"

"Olive! Hannah!" Nate's voice didn't stop Olive from hurting her. "Stop it!" Marahas nitong inilayo ang nagpupumiglas pa ring kaibigan niya habang dinaluhan naman siya ni Adam.

"Bitawan mo 'ko, Nate! That woman shouldn't be here!"

"Just stop!" Mataas ang boses at mariing sabi ni Nate na ikinatameme naman ni Olive.

"Y-you're shouting at me?" Mangiyak-ngiyak na tanong nito. "B-because of Hannah?"

"You shouldn't hurt other people, Olive. For pete's sake! Not in my father's wake! Can't you show even a little respect?" Frustrated nitong sabi.

"Y-you're t-taking her side!" She burst out crying at tumatakbong lumabas.

"Olive!" Hinabol ito ni Nate, much to Hannah's dismay.

Olive attacked her. But Nate didn't even check if she was okay. Instead he ran after Olive.

Parang hiniwa ang puso niya roon.

"You're wrong about Nate's feelings for me," wala sa loob na sabi niya kay Adam.

"What are you saying? Are you okay, Hannah?" Tiningnan nito ang namamaga niyang pisngi.

"He ran after her. She's important to him." The act made her want to cry.

"Silly. That doesn't tell how he feels." Parang gusto siya nitong kutusan. "Stay here, I'm gonna get you something for your swollen cheek."

She nodded.

Tama ba ang desisyon niya na patunayang mali ang akala ni Nate sa kanya na wala siyang pakialam? Interesado pa kaya itong malaman kung totoo ba 'yon o hindi? He cares for Olive. Maybe it was her friend whom he really loves.

"Mommy?"

She was shedding a tear when she heard Elisha's voice. Natigilan siya. Eli wasn't supposed to see her!

"Mommy?"

Dahan-dahan siyang lumingon at nakita niya si Elisha sa may pinto. May hawak itong manyika at nakatingin sa kanya na parang gusto nitong lumapit pero nag-aalinlangan ito. Her eyes show a pained emotion that hurt her more.

"Mommy," ulit nito.

"Eli!" She cried and fell on her knees, ibinuka niya ang mga kamay as an invitation for the kid to come to her. "Elisha!"

"Mommy!" Umiiyak siya nitong tinakbo at yumakap nang mahigpit.

'Gosh, I missed you so much, anak!' At that moment, hindi na niya naisip ang kalalabasan ng ginawa niya. All she cared about was how much she missed her little girl's arms around her neck. How much she missed her calling her mommy and much she missed everything about her.

"I missed you so much, Eli." Magkahalong tawa at iyak na bumitaw siya sa bata para paulanan naman ng halik ang mukha nito. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry!"

"I missed you more, mommy! Where did you go? I thought I'll never see you again, mommy. I love you!" Ito naman ang humalik ng humalik sa kanya.

Her kisses were enough to cure all the physical pain na inabot niya kay Olive. Hindi na nga niya nararamdaman ang hapdi ng pisngi niya.

"You're not mad at me?" She cupped her tiny face.

"I would never, mommy." Ngumiti ito sa kabila ng mga luha sa magkabila nitong pisngi.

Eli's not mad at her! At sapat na ang kaalaman na iyon para pagsisihan niya nang sobra ang pag-iwan niya rito noon.

"Even if you are not my mommy," dugtong nito. "In my heart, you will always be my only mommy."

"Oh Eli!" Elisha clung to her neck again at ayaw nang bumitaw, damang-dama niya ang taķot nito na mawala siya ulit. "I love you so much, anak! Mommy's very sorry for leaving you!"

"I love you so much too, mommy... You're not leaving me again, right? I'll come with you, mommy, I don't want you to leave again without me."

"Eli–" paano niya sasabihing hindi pa siya pwedeng mangako?

"Please promise me," nagmamakaawa ang tingin ni Elisha sa kanya na ikinulong pa sa mga munting kamay nito ang mukha niya.

"Anak, I can't stay for now. What I can promise you is that mommy will make sure we see each other often," marahan niyang sabi.

"No... I don't want that, mommy. If you can't stay because of mama Olive, please, just bring me with you? Please mommy?" Paano nito iyon nasabi? Alam ba nito ang tensyon sa pagitan nila ng tunay nitong ina?

"Elisha, I would love to bring you with me. Heaven knows, I want to be your mommy again. But," she paused to wipe Eli's tears even when her own were unstoppable. "But, the situation is already different. I am not your mother. And because your true mom is mama Olive, you need to stay with her. I cannot take you with me Eli."

"Can't we change that? You're the only mommy I want." Yumakap na naman ito nang sobrang higpit at durog na durog na ang puso niya.

"I'm sorry, Eli!"

"Please promise me you'll stay, mommy. Promise me you're not going anywhere again without me. Please mommy. Please promise me."

She just cried. It's too much. Nagmamakaawa si Elisha and she almost didn't have the heart to say no to her.

'If only I can promise you that, Eli.'

"Eli, listen to me—" pumikit siya nang mariin as she felt the pain in her heart, but only to get interrupted by Nate Sarmiento.

"Mommy's not leaving us again, Elisha," he said.

Hannah's questioning eyes flew to Eli's father who was already in the room without her noticing his arrival.

"She won't leave you again, Eli." Lumuhod ito para pumantay sa kanila. Si Eli ang kausap nito pero sa kanya nakatingin, in his eyes were mixture of emotions she couldn't name. Pero nangungusap ang mga iyon sa kanya na 'wag siyang kokontra.

"Really?" Tuwang-tuwa si Eli na yumakap nang mahigpit sa ama nito. "Thank you, daddy!"

Natameme siya. What was Nate up to this time?