Bonus Chapter—Mason

With a groan, I rolled to the side, so I wasn’t crushing Sophia, hissing when my soft, sensitive cock slipped out of her. I kept my arms around her, rolling her with me, holding her close to my chest.

My whole body felt exhausted. My chest wanted to heave for every breath, but I controlled it, taking in slow deep breaths to get my lungs to stop screaming at me. I probably stopped breathing near the end there.

Shit, I really did let myself go if I can't even do this without breathing hard. Maybe I really should be going to my physiotherapy sessions…?

I sighed as my eyes slid closed, my body relaxing. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this content. I slept just fine when I was alone, in fact, I was asleep more than I was awake these past weeks, but it was often fitful. I went to sleep in a bad mood and woke up in a bad mood, making myself more and more depressed every day. Besides, having a warm body close again to me felt amazing.

“Mason?”

I heard Sophia call my name, but it sounded as if from far away. I blinked my eyes open, only then realizing how close I had been to fall asleep.

“Hmm?” I hummed, carding my fingers through Sophia’s dark hair as I moved back a little to blink down at her with sleepy eyes. “Is something wrong?”

Her lips tilted up into a smile. “I came here to talk to you, remember? We haven’t actually talked, Mason.”

I groaned and closed my eyes, turning my head to bury my face in the pillow.

“I don’t want to talk,” I complained.

Even as I acted like a child, I could feel my heart start to beat with uneasiness. I wasn’t ready to hear what Sophia had come to say yet. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I wasn’t ready.

Not yet.

Sophia couldn’t read my mind, though, and she was persistent.

“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” she asked, though she sounded curious and not confrontational. “You’re acting like you want to run away from whatever it is I want to say, exactly what do you think I want to say to you, huh?”

My body stilled, before relaxing into the mattress again as I looked down to meet her eyes, my gaze more alert.

“I’m not running,” I said, but even I knew I was just defensive.

“Uh huh,” she said with a nod. “Then listen to what I have to say.”

I grimaced, I couldn’t help it.

“How long did you expect to wallow in self-pity by yourself,” she said with a sigh. “You’re going to have to go back out there at some point. At the very least, make your visits to the hospital…” then she stiffened and widened her eyes. “Hold on, you’re—”

I knew what she was worried about. “Don’t worry, I’m not lying on my bad hip, even I’m not dumb enough to do that.”

“So you’re smart, huh,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “Then you’ll tell me you’ve been going to see your doctor regularly?”

I could only hold her eyes for a bit before I looked away. There was no way I could lie to her and tell her I’d been going to physiotherapy. Before I got discharged, I did go to a few sessions. For a while after the surgery, I could only get around with a wheelchair or with a cane. It had been beyond humiliating for me, so I’d been impatient for physiotherapy.

It wasn’t until after a few sessions had passed and I had the talk with the doctor, that he let me know I would never be able to play football professionally again. If I worked really hard and took care of myself well, there might come a time where I could run long distances without a problem. There was the risk my hip might bother me as I grew older, but with proper care, I wouldn’t have to suffer through that for a long time. But playing a sport like football would be impossible for me, no matter how long I waited.

Let alone just getting on the field for a game; I wasn’t sure I could survive going through practice. I could still workout, to some extent, but I would have to change my training regimen to account for the hip replacement. Even if I might achieve a miracle if I waited longer, football wasn’t the kind of sport where I could keep playing at whatever age. I wasn’t that old, but I wasn’t exactly young, either. There was no point in thinking I might have a chance if I could wait longer, because with every year that passed, the chance that I could make a come-back, no matter how hard I tried, would grow more and more impossible.

It was the last thing I wanted to hear, but it wasn’t as if I had a choice.

Football, something that had been my life since before high school, would no longer be in my future.

Who would be happy about a verdict like that?

“Mason?” Sophia called softly, patting my chest.

I blinked down at her, feeling as if I’d just been pulled out of a nightmare, once that I’d been living in for a while now.

“I get that you’re suffering over this,” she said softly. “Remember my brother? When he had a scare himself, and he started worrying that he might never play again?”

“That and this are totally different,” I argued.

“I know it’s different; I’m not saying it’s the same. But he didn’t try to do what you’re doing right now, either, closing himself off from everything. He was worried, but he at least tried to deal with his issues. I know your dream was crushed, but it’s not as if it’s the end of the world. You’re still young, Mason. You can start over again.”

I sighed as my eyes slid closed and buried my face in the pillow. “You know, it’s easy to say you can start over, but what am I supposed to do after I start over? I don’t know the answer to that, Sophia.”

“Mason,” she said, her voice quiet and pained.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my arms flexing around her warm body for comfort.

“Sophia, it’s not that I don’t want to try at all. I know I can't stay like this forever. I have money, but I know it won’t last forever. I know that, eventually, I will have to start over, but Sophia, I’m not good at anything besides football. I wasn’t all that good at school, either. So, what? Do I go back to college? Start a new career?” I scoffed. “That’s impossible.”

Sophia pressed a hand to my shoulder and shook until I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“I’m not saying you go back to college or whatever. Look for something else that you’re good at.”

“I’m good at sports,” I retorted. “But I can't do too much of anything physical right now. Sophia, I locked myself up here because I don’t know what to do with myself, and I was hoping to figure it out. I’ve never been this weak before, and I didn’t want someone to see me like that.”

“Who said you were weak?” she muttered, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my shoulder. “Doing what you’re doing is pretty brave in itself, if stupid. But it’s not like there’s a deadline when you have to have shit figured out, Mason.”

I had thought that way, though. That I needed to get things settled so I wouldn’t be a burden on anybody because it was the last thing I wanted. The second to last thing was people looking at me with pity.

“You’re not alone in this, either,” she continued. “You can take as long as you need going one step at a time, Mason. And I’m going to help you whether you like it or not.”

My arms tightened as I curved my body around hers, holding her close and shutting my eyes against the sting I felt.

“Okay,” I agreed, my voice rough. “Thanks for the help, Sophia.”

I had forgotten, in my isolation, what it felt like to have someone be at my back. Maybe tomorrow I’d start making calls to the people I’d been ignoring. I wasn’t sure when I would start going to the hospital, because I understood that I needed to, but I’d go eventually.

Holding each other, the two of us fell asleep feeling content.