never

never
Ethan’s hands trembled slightly as he ran them over his face, trying to collect his thoughts. The memory of the night before was a haze, a fog of fatigue, alcohol, and something else he couldn’t place. He looked at Jonathan across the small table in his apartment, the tension so thick it could have been cut with a knife.
“I… I don’t know what happened,” Ethan said, his voice low and tight. “I swear, Jonathan, I don’t remember. I fell asleep, I… I don’t know what—”
Jonathan’s eyes narrowed, sharp and accusing. “You don’t know? Ethan, come on. You can’t expect me to just… ignore that. You’ve been hiding things, and I see it every time. Every time you look at her, every time you act weird, every… little thing. I can see it.”
Ethan swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I swear to you, I don’t remember what happened. I woke up and—”
Jonathan slammed his hand on the table, making Ethan flinch. “You woke up, fine! But that’s exactly it! How do I know you’re telling the truth? How do I know you didn’t—don’t lie to me just to protect her?”
“I’m not lying!” Ethan’s voice cracked, louder than he intended. “I don’t know what happened! I was asleep! I didn’t do anything!”
Jonathan got up, pacing the small room. His steps echoed against the hardwood floor. “You think that’s enough? You think that excuses everything? You’re still living in that house, still… still letting yourself be…” He stopped, gesturing vaguely, unable to find the words. “You still love her! And she’s… she’s controlling you!”
Ethan leaned back in his chair, trying to steady his breathing. “I don’t know what you want from me. I… I just don’t remember. You think I’m… what? A liar? A monster? I’ve been trying, Jonathan. I’ve been trying to stay away from all of this, to… to control myself.”
Jonathan’s hands ran through his hair, exasperated. “Control yourself? Ethan, control yourself! You’re still living a lie, still pretending that you’re in control, but you’re not! You’re with her, and it’s like… it’s like you’re glued to her. You’re trapped.”
Ethan’s chest felt tight. “I’m not trapped! I—” He paused, struggling to find words that would make sense to Jonathan. “I love her, yes. But it’s… it’s complicated. I don’t know what happened last night. You can’t judge me for that.”
Jonathan’s face softened for a fraction of a second, then hardened again. “I can judge you for everything leading up to it. I can judge you for every time you lied to yourself, to me, to everyone else! You say you love her, but love doesn’t make this okay, Ethan. Love doesn’t mean…” He gestured helplessly. “Love doesn’t mean you let things happen that… that hurt you and everyone around you!”
Ethan’s throat tightened. “I didn’t mean for anything to happen! I don’t even know what did happen. You’re asking me to confess to something I can’t remember!”
Jonathan stopped pacing, standing directly in front of him. “Then let me tell you something. I’ll only be back for you the day you officially leave her. The day you leave that house. Not a minute before. Because until that happens, you’re just… you’re still hers. And I can’t… I can’t do this half-measure anymore.”
Ethan’s head dropped, his fingers gripping the edge of the table. “You think I’m not trying? You think I don’t hate myself right now? You think I wanted… whatever happened to happen? I…” He couldn’t finish. The words tangled in his throat.
Jonathan shook his head and turned away. “I don’t care if you hate yourself. I care that you’re making a choice, Ethan. You’re making a choice every day by staying there. You’re letting her manipulate everything, and you… you’re letting yourself get lost in it.”
Ethan’s voice rose, pleading, desperate. “Jonathan, I don’t know how to do it! I love her, I do! But I don’t know what’s real anymore! I… I feel like I can’t even trust myself!”
Jonathan’s eyes softened again, briefly, then sharpened. “Then maybe it’s time you stop trusting her. Maybe it’s time you start trusting yourself for once. You can’t… you can’t keep running on instinct and hope it doesn’t destroy you. Or me. Or anyone else involved.”
Ethan sat back, exhaustion washing over him. “I… I don’t know if I can. I don’t even know what happened. And I… I can’t figure it out.”
Jonathan stepped closer, his voice low but firm. “Then you better figure it out, Ethan. Because I’m done waiting. I’m done being patient. I’ll only be back when you make the choice to walk away. Until then, you’re on your own.”
Ethan’s hands clenched into fists. “You think I don’t want to? You think I don’t… want to just get out? I can’t just… leave her. I… I can’t.”
Jonathan turned toward the door, his jaw tight. “Then don’t call me. Don’t try to hide from me. Don’t expect me to be here when things fall apart. You’re on your own until you choose. Until you’re free. And don’t think I won’t see it when you finally decide. I’ll be waiting for that day.”
The room fell silent. Ethan’s chest heaved. The words of Jonathan, harsh and uncompromising, echoed in his mind. He wanted to scream, to beg, to argue, but the weight of truth pressed on him. He realized he had a choice to make — sooner or later — and every second he stayed entangled in Adelyn’s world, the more impossible it would become to untangle himself.