Chapter 31 Edge Of Darkness

Chapter 31 Edge Of Darkness
It is 11 p.m. The villa is wrapped in silence, but inside my heart, a storm is raging. Ria has not returned to me yet. Every passing moment deepens my anxiety.

My tiny little soul, the support of my breath, is far away from me. Her face keeps spinning before my eyes, her smile, her voice, the way she calls me “mumma.”

I make a final decision. I try to turn my heart into stone and stand up. My feet move on their own, carrying me out of the villa. No sound comes from inside; no one sees me and that strange relief settles in. Tonight, no one will know where I am going.

I step out through the main gate and begin to walk. After a short while, I reach the road. The entire area is deserted no sound of vehicles, no human presence.

Only my racing heartbeat and the cold touch of the wind accompany me. Inside my heart, Ria and Neil walk beside me, as memories, as burdens. I keep walking in silence, as if even my voice would shatter if I let it out.

Suddenly, I feel someone behind me. A chill runs down my spine. I turn around, but there is no one only darkness and a long, empty road. I start walking again, but my steps slow down, as if the ground itself is trying to hold me back.

As I walk, I reach a bridge and stop there. Below, the river water flows swiftly, shimmering in the moonlight.

The soft rush of the water collides with my restless thoughts, growing louder inside me. I stand there, staring at the scene with tear-filled eyes. Today, it feels as if the end of my life rests in my own hands.

My breath feels heavy; my chest tight. I gather my courage and step forward with one foot. My heart pounds fiercely, darkness blurs my vision. And then, “Mu…mma…!!”

The moment this voice reaches my ears, my breath stops for a second. My eyes widen, my heart feels as if it will leap out of my chest. I turn around instantly. Time seems to freeze.

I stand there, shocked, unable to move.

Right in front of me, little Ria stands still. Her big, round eyes look straight into mine. She is trying to understand me, but all I can see in her gaze is innocent confusion—as if she is asking, Why is Mumma standing here? Why is Mumma crying?
I cannot bear that look even for a second.

My heart trembles violently. I quickly pull my foot back down. It feels as if someone has dragged me back from the edge of death.
That is when my eyes fall on Neil, standing behind Ria.

Neil stands there with his arms crossed. His face is hard, and his eyes… completely red. Not red with anger, but red with broken pain. Seeing him, I shudder. For the first time, I realize that what I was about to do has shattered him from the inside.

Suddenly, he bursts out in a loud voice, “Go on, do what you came here to do… Jump down… Commit suicide… Die…!”

His voice tears straight through my chest. I lower my head, as if all my strength has drained away.

The very next moment, he strides toward me and jerks my arm tightly. His grip is so firm that my breath catches. The pain is intense, yet I am unable to say anything.

Grinding his teeth, he stares into my eyes and says, “What happened now? Jump…! Go on, do it…!”

In a trembling, painful voice, I whisper, “Neil… it hurts…”

Hearing this, he breaks even more, Almost shouting, he says, “Do you even have any idea… how much pain I am in because of what you tried to do?”

At that moment, I see tears filling his eyes tears that do not fall, but rage inside him like a storm. That is when I understand: he is not just angry; he is deeply helpless and unbearably hurt.

Suddenly, I feel something around my leg. A small warmth, an innocent grip.

I look down…

Little Ria is clinging tightly to my legs. Her tiny hands are wrapped firmly around me, as if she is refusing to let me go anywhere. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with pure innocence and fear.

In her broken, child like voice, in the sweetest way, she says, “Do…n’t… go… Mu…mma…”

That voice steals my heart away. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly. It feels as if all my shattered breaths escape me at once. My heart screams how could I have left?

Neil abruptly lets go of my arm.
His voice now sounds tired and broken as he says, “You don’t care about anyone’s feelings.. You only think about yourself… You didn’t think about me… And you didn’t think about this little child either…”

I scream at the top of my lungs, “No…!!!”

My voice tears through the silence of the night. Tears keep streaming down my face without stopping. I keep speaking, as if I want to unload the entire weight of my heart, “I love you so much… I’m not selfish… I’m not like that…”

My legs no longer have any strength left. I slowly sink down onto the ground. My breathing becomes uneven, my chest rising and falling violently. I pull Ria toward me and hold her tightly against my chest. I hug her so hard, as if letting go would mean losing her forever. Ria curls up in my lap, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck.

Then I hear Neil’s voice but this time, there is less anger in it and more pain.

He says, “For you, that one night matters… That pain matters… But my love doesn’t…!”

His words strike my heart like sharp blows. He doesn’t stop, as if years of buried pain are pouring out all at once.

“You started hating me so much that you didn’t even listen to me once… You began to see me as such a bad person… My very presence started to bother you… Even my touch began to disgust you…” His voice grows heavy, yet he keeps speaking.

“The closeness between Ria and me felt so wrong to you… That you came here to commit suicide…”

He takes a deep breath, as if trying to hold himself together, “So fine… I can never be the reason for your pain…”

My heart starts pounding fiercely. I look at him with fear, with desperation.

He continues, and every word breaks me from the inside, “Even if you don’t understand anything… You are still my love…”

Tears now shine openly in his eyes, “That’s why I’m leaving your life forever… Going to a place where you will never be able to find me…”

My grip around Ria tightens even more. It feels as if my breath is about to stop.

Neil’s final words keep echoing in my ears, “I hope… You move on in life with a better life partner…”

The moment I hear this, I am completely stunned. My mind goes numb, my heart feels like it has shattered inside my chest.

TO BE COUNTINUE...!!!

Should I let him go ?