Chapter 15

“Why are you naked?” she yelled.

“I sleep naked, that's why,” he replied, getting up. “Oh please, don't tell me you're embarrassed. You've practically fucked it.”

Lena knew what he was referring to, but decide to shut up. Her cheeks were red enough already. “Please...just... just cover up.” She got up from the bed, using her other hand to feel her way. “You know what? I'll just wait downstairs.”

“Cock block,” he muttered, trailing to the bathroom.

****

“I fucking love you, munchkin,” EJ moaned in delight, munching on a muffin. He was shirtless, only in sweatpants. His beautiful body was heavenly, and Lena was thankful that she knew of the Specter family.

“The feeling’s mutual, Elvis,” she chuckled.

He balanced on his stool, watching her. “Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?”

She shrugged. “It was meant to be a surprise, but Damon got all ninja-like on me.”

“You sneaked up on him? He hates that.” His shoulders lifted and dropped with his laughter.

She wanted to ask why, but decide it wasn't his story to tell. She shrugged again and let it slide. “You going out today?”

“Nah. I'm spending the day with Ella,” he grabbed another muffin.

“I'd love to meet her again, she's refreshing.” Lena sighed in longing. Children were amazing.

“She's been talking about you too,” he added, drinking from his cup of coffee. “Where's dickface?”

“Taking a shower. Apparently, he sleeps naked.”

“Walked in on that once. Worse day of my life. I couldn't the image out, no matter how much I tried.” EJ shuddered at the memory.

“I've always known you're fucking gay. Nothing new.”

Damon paced down the stairs in sweatpants. Lena secretly wondered if they were having a sweatpants party, as all three of them wore the same. The only difference was hers and Damon's were the same ashy color.

They were practically matching.

“Even if I were, your ass is the last thing I'd wanna hit,” EJ snorted, rolling his eyes.

Damon returned the gesture. “You're a fucking idiot.” His eyes snapped to the almost empty basket. “You ate all my muffins?”

“Who said they were for you?” EJ huffed, reaching for another. He winced as Damon slapped his hand away before he could grab any. “Hey!” he whined.

“Get your girlfriends to bake you cookies and muffins. Leave mine alone, you dickhead.” He snatched the basket off the counter, holding it to his chest.

“Oh,” EJ cooed. “She's your girlfriend now?”

Lena's heart thumped. Was she? She looked to Damon.

“Aren't you?” he asked her.

“I don't know.” She shrugged. “You never asked.”

Damon rolled his eyes. “Do I have to ask? I thought actions spoke louder than words. Why are women so particular about these things?”

Lena wanted to slap him. “Yes, Damon. You have to ask so we know where we stand. I could just be a friend, for all I know. It's better when you're specific.”

He turned on his heels to face her. “You think I would fuck my friend? Much less, tongue-fuck her?”

EJ burst out laughing. “Wait... You guys already fucked? Shit.”

Lena's cheeks burned a bright red. He had no right to say that in front of anyone. His brother, for God's sake. They obviously had no filter. “Fuck you,”

“Already did that” was his oh-so-brilliant reply.

Lena was fuming, and it certainly wasn't helping that EJ was laughing.

“Ah...” EJ purred when his laughter subsided. “What a great way to start the day.”

“You have plans?” Damon asked him from the fridge. He grabbed a beer.

“Ella.”

Damon nodded. “You're going to the event then?”

“Yup.”

“Do you have a date?”

He shook his head. “I'm not going with one, but I am certainly coming back with a few.”

Damon groaned. “Ah, come on, EJ. No threesomes, or foursomes in fact. And certainly, no orgies will be happening in my house.”

EJ rolled his eyes. Damon was such a buzzkill. “It's my house too, you know.”

“Only because I let you live here.”

“Because you don't have a choice. Someone has to keep you company or you'll go mad,” EJ said, snatching the bottle from Damon before he could drink from it.

Lena laughed. It was so absurd seeing grown men argue like a bunch of five-year-olds.

“Elvis,” she called. “Is it fun? I mean, group sex.”

EJ smirked. “I like the way you think. Which one?”

“Uh... Threesomes?”

Opposite her, Damon frowned. Which only increased when EJ answered. “Fuck yeah.”

She tried to keep herself from laughing. “What about foursomes? I hear it's fantastic.”

“Oh, you heard right. You should try it, amazing stuff,” EJ sighed dreamily, his eyes travelling far, no doubt recalling all his pasts sexapades.

Damon's hands hit the counter hard. “That's enough.” His eyes were brimming with anger. “The only foursomes you'll be having is with me, myself and I.”

She couldn't help it, she burst out laughing.

“You're fucking whipped, man. It's pathetic.” EJ shook his head in amusement, drinking from the bottle of beer in his hands.

“This is coming from someone who's never even had a girlfriend.” Damon have him a blank look, taking out another bottle. He looked to Lena, silently asking her if she wanted one. She shook her head.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want a girlfriend? Maybe I'm perfectly fine sleeping around?” he retorted with a fierce roll of his eyes. Lena noticed he did that a lot.

“Of course, you are. You have the sexual stamina of a horse,” Damon huffed, referring to all those times EJ had kept him awake at night because of his usual sex marathons. “Fucking animal.”

“And how fortuitous it is for me that you feel that way.” He smirked at his brother. “Munchkin, if you ever feel dickhead here is lacking in that department.” He winked at Lena. “I'm only one door away.”

He strode off, going up the stairs. Lena could hear him laughing and couldn't help but laugh too. He was a breath of fresh, fine air.

“Go to hell, EJ. That is never going to happen, so you better wake up,” Damon called out after him, his jaw clenched.

“Whatever. Careful not to trip over my amazingness; It's everywhere!” EJ yelled from somewhere above us.

Then there were two. Seriously, Damon was right. It was a little too quiet without EJ. He was like an important spice, and even though they argued like a bunch of teenagers, Lena could tell there was too much love flowing within them.

“Asshole,” Damon muttered, taking a swig from his bottle. “Foursomes? In my house? Again? Hah! In his dreams.”

Lena chuckled. “I like him. He's refreshing.” That word again. “Not to mention funny.”

“Funny guys are the most dangerous. They'll make you laugh and laugh and then boom, you're naked.”

“You're funny too. Does that make you dangerous?” she asked, a smile playing at her lips.

Damon was suddenly in front of her. “What do you think?” he whispered, invading her space. His strong hands were on either side of her, trapping her in. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her lips, then deepened it, swallowing her answer.

They kissed for a ridiculous amount of time before breaking apart.

“We need to go, or we're going to miss our appointment,” Damon breathed, giving her another kiss.

“Appointment? What for?” she asked, scrambling to her feet.

“Your dress tonight, of course.”