52

Donny Scott had dismissed us with a list of warnings, promising to take everything into consideration and get back to us later.

“Damn it,” I muttered, pressing my hands to my temples as we exited his office. “I can’t stand not knowing what comes next.”

Evan  leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Is that true for everything in your life?”

I gave his chest a playful backhand but couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out. “This isn’t a joke.”

It was true, though—I had every reason to be freaking out. I might not need a degree to continue writing, but it was something I wanted. The classes were supposed to be more than just a credential; they were supposed to give me insight I couldn’t get anywhere else, and they were part of my plan to advance my career.

Still, I had published chapters online, and the response had been good. Maybe I could just quit college and focus on my writing. But… I was about to become a mother to twins. That reality hit hard. I had seen how much work Carrie had put into raising my brother, and the idea of managing twins made my stomach turn.

“What are we going to do?” The question hung in the air. What was I going to do? Dave and Cole were fully committed, saying they’d help with whatever I needed. But Evan  hadn’t said anything like that. Even now, after everything had come out about the twins, he seemed withdrawn—almost angry. I’d meant to talk to him about it, but I was terrified he might pull away, leaving me to deal with everything alone.

We walked across campus in a loose circle, none of them touching me, but I focused on the ground ahead as we made our way to Evan ’s office.

Cole and Dave stopped at the door, and Cole leaned against it, hand on the knob. “I need to check in on my next class. I’ll be back.”

Dave followed Cole out into the hallway, leaving Evan  and me alone.

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, unsure of what to do. “I should go,” I muttered. There was no reason for me to stay. I could head to the coffee shop, talk things out with Silvy, and try to make sense of my spiraling thoughts. My mind was a mess, looping through doubts and fears that threatened to paralyze me. Who was I now, anyway? Where was the woman who confronted Evan  about his idea of love? I’d lost her along with my fears about losing him.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out in a breathless rush, and I wasn’t sure if I was apologizing for everything or just for not knowing how to handle it all.

Evan ’s hands found mine, warm and steady, grounding me. “What are you sorry for?”

“I… I jeopardized everything by pushing you.” The words were shaky, but they had to be said. “I pushed you into this, into us.”

He smiled softly, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. “It’s not like you forced us. We knew exactly what we were doing. We accepted the consequences, and we still do. We choose you.”

The argument I wanted to make—how could he choose me after I’d put his career at risk?—stuck in my throat. He leaned closer, his face almost touching mine, his voice firm but gentle. “I choose you.”

“I love you, Becca .” His fingers slid through my hair, brushing it over my shoulder, and he pulled me a step closer. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Then why did you try to leave when you found out about the babies?” The question I had been holding onto for so long came tumbling out. It still hurt. “Why did you think leaving was the right thing to do?”

He exhaled sharply, his lips twisting with a grimace as his eyes closed. “I thought it might be the honorable thing. But mostly, I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” I couldn’t understand. He had nothing to be afraid of. He was a good man, one who was more than capable of being the father he needed to be.

“I grew up with a father who was a bastard,” he said, his voice low. “I didn’t want to turn out like him. So, I tried to step back, let you, Cole, and Dave have a relationship without me in it.”

“I don’t want a relationship without you,” I said, my heart racing. “I don’t want it without any of you.”

I cupped his face in my hands, pulling him in close. “You’re going to be an amazing father. And what you, Cole, and Dave have to offer them… it’s more than I ever imagined.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but I stopped him with a finger over his lips. “I still don’t feel like I deserve you. But I’m learning. I need you, Evan . I love you.”

My feelings for him, my connection to him, were just as deep as they’d ever been, and I knew, somehow, that my love for him, Cole, and Dave wasn’t something that could be separated. It was all tangled up together.

“I’ll stand by you no matter what,” Evan  said, his voice steady and full of conviction. “You’re my life now. You and these babies.”

His fears about becoming like his father might always be there, lurking, but for now, I could see the promise in his eyes. We were going to face the future together.

Before I could respond, there was a knock at the door. Evan ’s arms tightened around my shoulders. “I’m not hiding anymore.”

Cole’s voice came from the hallway, but whatever he had been saying trailed off the moment he stepped inside.

“Guess you’ve worked things out,” Dave chuckled, walking across the room to stand next to me.

We had… for now. But the fear lingered that I might have to let them go. Evan  had promised to stay with me, and I believed him, but could I really let them risk everything for me? If it came down to them losing their careers, their credibility—could I make the tough call to walk away?

Looking into Evan ’s eyes, I knew I might have to. His promises were rooted in his feelings now, but over time, that would turn into resentment if his job was on the line. And I was not more important than that. I had to accept it.

I’d written an entire book based on him—on the man with the big emotions, the one who’d do anything for the woman he loved. And that woman? She needed to be worthy of that love. She had to be able to give up her own happiness for his. Wasn’t that how it worked? Wasn’t that how love worked?

God, I was so lost.

Muffled voices broke through my chaotic thoughts. Had they been there the whole time? I hadn’t noticed.

“Becca ,” Dave’s voice pulled me back to reality as he tipped my face up to meet his. His brow furrowed with concern. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Everything.” I let out a deep sigh and rubbed my face. “I feel like everything is falling apart.”

“It won’t,” Cole’s voice came from the other side of the room, comforting.

I stood there, enveloped by the warmth and care of these three men. I sank into it, afraid it would be my last chance. Everything could change in an instant. Donny Scott could tell me to put off my degree. There were so many unknowns, and my time with them was far from guaranteed.

But before everything crumbled, there was one thing I needed.

“We’re not going to lose you.” Cole’s voice was low, and he leaned in close enough to kiss my ear.

Gathering every ounce of courage, I spoke the words that had been sitting on my chest for too long. “I want one night with all of you. One night of bliss before everything potentially falls apart. Will you—will you all have sex with me at the same time?”

To my surprise, I had never heard three men agree so quickly.