Chapter 116 Shattered Masks
Elena: POV
I froze at his words.
Sleepless nights? Because of me?
It had to be bullshit. Just another manipulation tactic. Julian Sterling didn't lose sleep over anyone—especially not over his disposable ex-wife.
But the way he'd said it, voice cracking slightly, face buried in my hair like I was his only anchor...
Stop it, Elena. Don't fall for this again.
'Just tonight,' I thought. 'I need rest too. I'm leaving tomorrow morning.'
I lay there in his arms, feeling his heartbeat against my back, steady and strong. My own heart was a mess—racing one second, aching the next. I wanted to hate him. God, I should hate him after what he'd just done to me in that bathroom.
But my traitorous body was already relaxing into his warmth.
Pathetic.
---
I waited until his breathing evened out before carefully extracting myself from his grip. He shifted in his sleep but didn't wake. Good.
My phone was on the nightstand. I grabbed it and tiptoed to the bathroom, closing the door softly before turning on the screen.
3:47 AM.
Ethan: [I've moved to room 407.]
I pulled up my messages and typed quickly:
Me: [I'm fine. Don't let Mom know about tonight. Meet at your car tomorrow morning—early.]
The reply came almost instantly. He must've been awake.
Ethan: [Are you sure you're okay? Did he hurt you?]
I stared at the question. Did he hurt you?
Physically? No. Not really. It had been rough, intense, but not... violent. Not in the way Ethan meant.
Emotionally? Mentally?
That's a different fucking story.
But I couldn't tell Ethan that. Couldn't admit that I'd let Julian touch me, make me come, claim me all over again. That I'd responded to every filthy thing he'd said and done.
Me: [No. He didn't hurt me. I'll explain tomorrow. Just... be ready to leave at dawn.]
Another pause. Then: Ethan: [I don't trust him, Elena. If he so much as—]
Me: [Ethan. I'm fine. See you in a few hours.]
I didn't wait for his response. Just turned off the phone and crept back to bed.
Julian was still asleep, one arm stretched out across the space where I'd been lying. I slid back in carefully, and immediately his arm curled around me again, pulling me close.
"Don't go," he mumbled against my hair.
I won't. Not yet.
But soon.
---
I barely slept.
Every time I started to drift off, Julian would shift or tighten his hold, and I'd jolt awake, heart pounding. By the time pale gray light started filtering through the curtains, I was exhausted and wired at the same time.
5:23 AM.
Time to go.
I extracted myself inch by inch, watching Julian's face for any sign he was waking up. His features were relaxed in sleep—almost peaceful. It made him look younger. Less like the cold bastard who'd destroyed me and more like the boy I'd fallen for sixteen years ago.
Don't. Don't do this to yourself.
I grabbed my clothes from the floor and dressed quickly.
One last glance at the bed. Julian was still out, one hand resting where I'd been.
I slipped out the door.
---
The hallway was eerily quiet. My bare feet made no sound on the carpet as I hurried toward the elevators. Room 407. Ethan had said he was on the fourth floor.
I found it easily enough. Stood there for a moment, hand raised to knock, suddenly unsure.
What am I doing?
But then I thought of Julian waking up in an empty bed. Coming after me. Dragging me back. And I knocked—three sharp raps that sounded too loud in the silence.
The door flew open almost instantly.
Ethan stood there, hair messy, eyes wild. He was shirtless, wearing only sweatpants that hung low on his hips.
"Elena—"
He grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside. The door slammed shut behind me.
"Jesus Christ, I've been losing my mind—" He backed me up against the wall, hands on either side of my head, caging me in. "Are you okay? Did he—"
"Ethan, I'm fine," I cut him off, trying to duck under his arm. "We just need to get Mom and leave before—"
"You're not fine." His eyes raked over me, sharp and assessing. "Your lips are swollen. You've got a hickey on your neck."
Heat flooded my face. "How do you—"
I opened my mouth. Closed it. What could I say?
"You let him touch you again." It wasn't a question. "After everything he's done, you let him—"
"It's complicated," I whispered.
"Complicated?" His voice cracked with pain. "Is that what we're calling it now?"
"Ethan—"
"Why didn't you let me in last night?" He leaned closer, his breath ragged. "I knocked. I begged you to open that door. But you sent me away. For him."
"I didn't—it wasn't like that—"
"Then what was it like?" His voice broke completely. "I've waited years, Elena. Years. And you turn around and go back to the man who destroyed you? What does that make me? What have I been to you all this time—just a placeholder until he decided he wanted you back?"
I flinched. "That's not fair—"
"Fair?" He laughed, bitter and broken. "You want to talk about fair? I've been here through everything. Every breakdown, every tear, every time you couldn't sleep because of the nightmares he gave you. And I never asked for anything. Never pushed. I just... waited."
His head dropped, forehead nearly touching mine. "But I'm not enough, am I? I'll never be enough. Because I'm not him. I don't have his money, his power, his ability to make you feel like you're drowning and flying at the same time."
"Ethan, stop—"
"Do you know what that does to a man?" His voice was barely a whisper now, raw with self-loathing. "Knowing that the woman you love will always choose the person who hurts her over the one who would die for her?"
The way he looked at me in that moment—there was something cold in his eyes, almost predatory—that wasn't the Ethan I knew. For the first time, I felt afraid of him.
"You're scaring me," I whispered.
Something flickered across his face—surprise, then horror.
"Elena, I—" He started to reach for me, then stopped, staring at his own hands like he didn't recognize them. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I would never..."
"I actually have dissociative identity disorder," he said weakly. "I was just controlled by that other personality. I can see what that personality does, but I can't control him. I'm really sorry."
Was he that dangerous? Should I stay away from him from now on?
But right now the urgent priority was to find my mother and get out of here.