To Laugh Or To Cry

**Althaia**

“…Althaia…”

A small groan escaped my lips. I felt groggy and completely disoriented as I felt my body slightly shake. I felt nauseous and my eyelids were heavy as I tried to open them.

“Althaia, please wake up.” Cara’s voice sounded clear and I pushed myself to open my eyes despite their heaviness.

“… I don’t feel too good.” I almost whimpered as she helped me to sit up. I rested my head against the wall and looked around. It looked like we were in a small basement room with grey walls, a tiny lightbulb that was barely giving any light, and there was sound of water dripping somewhere in the distance.

Where the fuck were we?

“Are you okay?” I blinked a couple of times as I looked at Cara. Her hair was a complete mess and looked like she had been through hell.

“I… What hap - “ I held my breath as everything rushed back to me. Dario. Blood. Fighting. Damiano.

Damiano!

*No no no no!*

My eyes widened as I suddenly felt suffocated. The images of Damiano getting shot and laying still on the ground. Tears started to stream down my face while Cara in a panic tried to make me snap out of it.

“Breathe! Please, breathe!” Her voice shook, tears glistening in her eyes. I finally gasped, air filling my lungs as I clutched tightly onto her arms.

“They shot Damiano…” I croaked out. My entire body was shaking as the image of him getting shot played repeatedly in my mind.

“What…?” Cara breathed out, tears leaving her eyes.

“My God, they shot him!” I cried out. I clutched my chest, my heart aching as I felt it break into a million pieces.

My love.

My life.

My everything.

The man who was supposed to be the father of my children.

“…He’s dead…” I whispered out in a sob, feeling completely numb. Cara stumbled up to her feet in shock, grabbing her head as she paced the room.

“No…This can’t be happening… He can’t be dead. This is not happening!” She shouted in frustration. She went to the door and started to bang on it loudly as she screamed.

“You fuckers! You can’t be doing this! You made me miserable for years, you don’t get to do this to me again!” Cara screamed at the top of her lungs as she took all of her frustrations out on the door.

I dried my tears away, taking a deep breath before I shakily stood up. My body was heavy and it felt like gravity was pulling me down. I couldn’t sit here and feel sorry for myself. I had to do something to get us out of here. All those hours Damiano had spent training me, I had to put them to use now. I breathed out as I tried to clear my head. I had to stay alert and aware of my surroundings. Just like he taught me.

“Cara!” I pulled her away from the door before she could hurt herself. I hugged her tightly as it was her turn to sob. I gulped down the sob that wanted to escape me but I managed to keep it together.

“It’s going to be okay… We’ll be okay.” I kept saying, trying to convince myself. Both of our heads snapped to face the door as we heard it unlock. My father stepped inside, staring at me with cold, cunning eyes with so much hatred in them.

“Dad -” He put his hand up to stop and silence me, his jaw clenched.

“Don’t you *ever* call me that.” He hissed out.

“What…?” I breathed out as he looked at me with so much disgust. I looked behind him, seeing Maso and Carlos present as well with the same expression. My heartbeat accelerated and my breathing got louder at the sight of Carlos.

“You son of a bitch!” I screamed and lunged at him, wanting to smash his head repeatedly into the wall. I felt it before I saw it coming and I landed on the ground. I blinked as my sight got blurry, and the entire right side of my face was stinging in pain when my father backhanded me before I could get to Carlos.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Cara yelled at him and she hurried to my side. I spat out as the taste of blood filled my mouth. I barely got to breathe when I cried out in pain as I got in the back.

“You filthy Russian!” Carlos laughed and I whimpered in pain when he kicked me again.

“Don’t touch her!” Cara punched his face, having his head thrown back a little from the force. I stumbled up on my feet when he turned his hateful glare to her. He pulled his hand back, about to hit her when Maso grabbed his arm. He didn’t say anything as he gave a warning glare to Carlos. Carlos scoffed at him before ripping his arm away. I looked down to the floor, grabbed my heel that fell off, and threw it at Carlos's head. Satisfaction filled me when he winced and grabbed his head.

“You little -” He hissed out and pulled out his gun, aiming at me.

“Enough, Carlos. We can’t use her if she’s dead.” My father put his hand on the gun and made him lower it. I took a couple of steps back, taking Cara with me.

“Count your fucking days, filthy Russian.” Carlos spat out.

“I don’t understand…” I frowned and looked at them in confusion. My father gestured for Carlos and Maso to get out as he clasped his hands behind his back before facing me.

“You should ask that whore you call a mother. Ah, right… I got rid of her.” I took a sharp intake of breath and grasped onto Cara’s arm.

“It was you? You… you killed mom?” Tears filled my eyes, my heart was pounding behind my chest and my legs were a second away from collapsing.

“I should have gotten rid of her a long time ago for all the betrayal. But at least she was useful to me in the end, just like how you’re going to be useful to me in getting what I want. Although, it would be rude of me to take all credit for it when it was Michael who made it happen. He was a great kid. Such a shame I had to get rid of him as well when he stuck his nose in business that didn’t concern him.” He sighed as if he truly was upset about it, but the cunning grin on his lips told otherwise.

Cara screamed at him while I felt numb with everything he told us. My mother, my baby, Damiano, and now Michael. He killed everyone I cared about.

*Please, don’t let this be true.*

Tears fell down my face uncontrollably. I felt sick and suffocated.

“You’re a dead man walking… He’s going to kill you.” I spat out furiously with tears still in my eyes. I clenched my hands into fists as I glared at him.

“And who’s going to kill me? That dead husband of yours?”

“You sick fucker!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and went after him. He let out a chilling laugh and closed the door before I could get to him. I banged my fists against the door, kicking it while I screamed for him to get back so I could kill him with my bare hands.

“It’s no use… Save your strength.” This time it was Cara’s turn to pull me away from the door. I was breathing heavily and my mind was going crazy.

“He took everything away from me!” A choked-up sob came out of me and I finally broke down crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Cara sniffed as she held me tightly into her frame. I looked at her, wiping my tears away.

“This wouldn't have happened if I told you to come to that stupid engagement party. Mom would still be alive! I knew it would piss them off if you showed up… That’s what I wanted after all those fucking years of making me miserable. I’m really sorry, Thaia, I shouldn’t have…” Cara’s eyes filled with guilt as she looked at me heartbroken.

“It’s not your fault.” I shook my head. I sighed and slid down the wall to sit on the ground and patted the space next to me.

“Did you hear what that cocksucker for ice cream called me?” I stared at the ceiling before facing her.

“Russian.” I nodded. She looked at me confused, hell, even I was so fucking confused about the whole thing.

“Mom was not exactly who I thought she was… There were many things she kept from me and it frustrates me so much I can’t even ask her what the fuck has been going on.” I had no idea my mother was so mysterious. I never once thought there was something unusual about her and she really did everything she could to make sure I would live a comfortable life.

“Do you know who Alexei Vasiliev is?”

“Who doesn’t? He’s a fucking lunatic.”

“First time I met him was at the auction Damiano took me to.” I swallowed hard at the mention of his name and bit down on my lip to avoid it trembling. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

“He told me I reminded him of an old lover back in his days. At first, I thought it was creepy that he told me that, but then he continued to talk about how they loved each other but were bad for each other. But no matter what, she would always be his Solnishko. And she called him Lunnyy svet.” Cara dropped her jaw open and her eyes slightly widened, and I knew she recognized the word.

“When I went back to the house, I found a small treasure chest with some letters and a picture. That picture was of mom and Alexei together.” Cara continued to look at me in complete astonishment while I continued to explain everything from when I found the picture to my meeting with Alexei at the LuxePalace.

We sat in silence as we let the information process. However, my thoughts were all over the place, giving me a banging headache.

My mother had an affair with Alexei Vasiliev during her marriage with Gaetano.

It was most likely possible that Alexei Vasiliev was my father. I think somehow Gaetano knew… Maybe that was why my mother left because he found out I wasn’t his daughter. But why the hell would he pretend to be my father if he wasn't?

My entire life has been a whole damn lie.

I started to chuckle at how fucked up everything was at the moment.

“No wonder my Italian fucking sucks.” The chuckle turned into a burst of full-on laughter, and Cara couldn’t help but laugh along with me.

“Zdravstvuyte, bitch!” Cara greeted as we laughed.

“My God, what if you’re Russian too? Maybe your mom had an affair as well?!” I gasped at the possibility.

“Shit, I wouldn’t blame her if she had an affair. Have you seen how ugly that piece of shit of a father I have? I would have cheated in a heartbeat, too! Maybe she hooked up with a brother of Alexei?” The jokes continued and we laughed as if we had lost our minds. We laughed, then cried, then laughed again as we listed out how miserable we were.

Our laughter died down as we caught our breath, sitting once again in silence, each in our own thoughts.

“You know…” Cara broke the silence. “I never told anyone, but one day I tried to end my life by jumping off a bridge.” I whipped my head so fast to look at her, seeing her smiling sadly as she spoke.

“I was beaten and broken so much already. And then they wanted me to marry off to someone who was known to be a freaking powerful and skilled assassin, adding to the pile of shit I was already going through. I snuck out of the house, got drunk to lessen the pain, and then I jumped. Without giving it a single thought.”

“Cara…” I sniffed, holding her hand tightly in mine.

“Lorenzo saved me. He found out where I was and jumped in to save me.” She smiled as she thought back to it, and I looked at her in surprise.

“Then it turned out the bridge wasn’t more than just five feet tall but because I was shitfaced drunk, I thought I was higher up.” Cara smacked herself on the leg and burst out in laughter.

“I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it.” Tears were visible in our eyes as we couldn’t control ourselves anymore. If we were being watched, they would definitely think we had lost our minds.

“We’ll get out of here. You deserve to live a normal…ish life with Tank Man ‘cause let’s be honest, they’re anything but normal.”

“I do want that normal-ish life with my Tank Man.” She sighed and I smiled at her.

“You will! But first, we need a plan to get the fuck out of here.”

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