CHAPTER 87

CHAPTER 87
The car’s headlights cut through the empty streets. Aylissa’s hands stayed tight on the wheel until we reached her building.

“You could come home with me, you can sleep in the spare room.” my voice low, my heart thudded against my chest with guilt. 

“No, I think I will be fine alone for one night.” She said shaking her head, already opening the door. “Aylissa.” I said quickly unbuckling my seatbelt rushing over to the drivers side.

“Yes?” she called out innocently. “I’m so sorry I dragged you there.”

“Don’t be silly, I wanted to go with you and that’s what best friends are for dummy.” She said pinching my ear smiling, we hugged and said our goodbyes.

The engine idled while I watched her climb the steps and disappear the enormous building. 

I drove to my house casually looking at the mirrors to make sure i’m not being followed.

The house was quiet when I unlocked the door. The baby monitor glowed soft green on the hall table; Sigurd’s breathing came through in steady little pulls.

I switched the lights off and went straight upstairs. I got into the shower, hot water hit my shoulders in a hard stream, carrying the smell of soap and steam. 

My mind consumed with memories I wanted to forget, questions I had no answers too and regrets I couldn’t take back.

I stood under it until my body started feeling drained and heavy, then I dried off, pulled on an old T-shirt, and slid under the covers. The sheets were cool against my legs, I could feel myself starting to get drowsy.

My phone screen lit the ceiling. I scrolled the local news feeds, recap of everything I missed.

I saw headlines about traffic getting worse, a school fundraiser, then a short piece with a blurred photo and a name that matched the woman Aylissa had described.

Times that lined up with evenings Dan had come home late or not at all. My throat tightened. Salt water spilled over the outer corners of my eyes and ran into the hair at my temples. 

I pressed the side of my face into the pillow. The fabric grew damp, who did I even marry?

My breath came in short, uneven pulls until the screen dimmed and the dark took over. My chest felt like it was closing in on me, I grabbed the blanket and threw it over me.

I must’ve fell asleep because Sigurd’s cry cut through the morning silence. I sat up, the sheet sliding off my shoulder. 

The cry was coming from down the hall Dan’s voice came in low, steady murmurs, trying to soothe. 

I crossed the carpet barefoot, rushing to calm him down. Sigurd’s face was red, fists waving. Dan held him against one shoulder, suit jacket already on, tie loose. 

I reached out for the baby, solid weight of the baby transferred into my arms.

I rocked side to side, palm flat against his back, feeling the hiccuping rise and fall until the cries softened into wet sniffles and then quiet. 

“Why is he so upset?” I asked looking at Sigurd who still looked upset. 

“I don’t know, he already had eaten his food. I had just taken him from his nanny maybe thats why.” Dan checked his watch, slid the laptop into his bag, and zipped it.

I kept my eyes on Sigurd’s damp lashes.
“What time did you get home last night?”
He looked at me. The morning light caught  making his jawline look sharp.

“I got hung on some work, I came back late. I’m sorry for not telling you.” He said looking everywhere in the room except for my face.

“What work?” He adjusted the strap of the bag on his shoulder.

“What do you mean what work? The company that half of you own.” He kissed the top of Sigurd’s head once, then mine, a brief press of his lips, and then left. 

The front door closed with its usual soft click. The car started a moment later and faded down the street, we watched it from Sigurd’s window.

I stood in the nursery a while longer, rocking the baby. 

My jaw had locked tight; I forced it open, drew a slow breath in through my nose. This man has me in a tight corner, he has me forgetting that I have a voice to speak up against what he is doing to me.

Hours later the front door opened again, footsteps crossed the hall to the dining table.

I was already seated, plates set, the smell of roasted chicken and garlic rising from the covered dishes. 

Dan stopped in the doorway when he saw me, I was wearing my favourite dress my hair tied into a bun.

I stood, crossed the space between us, and slid the jacket from his shoulders. “You just in time for dinner, love.”

The fabric was warm from his body and carried the faint scent of the office.

I hung it over the back of a chair, then took his hand and led him to the table.

“Dish up,” I said, my voice even. 

“We haven’t sat down to dinner together in a long time.” He looked at the plates, at the two glasses and wine.

“Are we celebrating?” He asked looking at suspiciously. “No, silly. I just miss us, dig in.” He said down and started dishing for himself.

“How was your day at work?” I asked as I started eating. “Nothing, same old.”He said taling a bite of the chicken, I smiled proudly.

“Is it good?” I asked, and he smiled back at me. “ Yeah it’s great babe, you’ve outdone yourself.” a second later his smile dropped and he started coughing terribly.

I remained seated staring at him with a smirk. “Emily, what did you do?” He started wheezing clawing at his chest as if it would help.

“You-” He lunged for me, falling and dragging everything on the table with him.