Chapter 32 – Grayson

While Belle’s been getting her life back on track, I’ve been reevaluating mine. I’m not sure what I want to do after high school, but I have started researching colleges in Michigan—and Ohio. I guess I’m an optimist. Dad keeps telling me I should join the Navy. I keep telling him that’s his thing, not mine. I think he’s gotten the hint because he hasn’t brought it up in days.

“You sure you don’t want to go?” I ask one last time.

Dad raises a brow but doesn’t say anything.

I sigh. “C’mon, Dad. This church is different. They’ll welcome you, and they don’t judge.” I give a firm shake of my head to emphasize my words. I have never been to a church like this before, one that’s so open and honest and loving.

“Not today, Grayson.” His tone is brusque.

“You say that every Sunday.” And every Sunday, I pray he’ll change his mind and go to church with me. He gives me a stern look, but I don’t back down. “You can’t stay away from church forever.”

“I know that.” He gets up from the couch and stalks into the kitchen.

I gather my keys and jacket. “See you later,” I call as I walk out the door. Despite my father’s stubbornness, I’m not giving up. Sooner or later, I’ll get him to go to church with me. Hopefully, with a little divine intervention, it will be sooner.

When I arrive, I’m greeted by Faye, just like I have been every week for the past two months. She hugs me. I make my way to the right side and slip into a pew. A moment later, two of the guys from youth group—Devon and Zack—sit beside me.

“Hey, you planning to go to the skating party on Friday?” Zack asks me.

“I don’t…” My words trail off when I see Isabelle walk in. Wearing a soft pink dress, she’s flanked by Andrea and Hannah. My heart races, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to get up and go to her. This is the first time she’s been here since we broke up.

She glances around, and her gaze lands on me. I swallow the lump in my throat. She smiles faintly and then takes a seat on the opposite side. A heavy sadness settles over me. I don’t know how much longer I can go without her in my life. Sure, we’ve been working on our Spanish project, and we still sit together at lunch, but we’re not really friends. Not like when we first met. I miss her like crazy.

There’s only one thing I can do…and as soon as the service is over, I seek out Pastor Rick. Before I can find him, Isabelle finds me.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hi.” Everything inside of me trembles. “You’re back.” I want to smack myself for saying something so stupid.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“You look great.” I’ve been wanting to tell her that every day for weeks, and it feels good to finally say it. “How are you?”

“I’m doing really . Mom’s getting better every day.”

“That’s great.” I shove my hands into my pockets, so I won’t reach for her.

“Yeah. Well…I just wanted to say hi. I have to go. I have plans with Hannah and Andrea.”

“Right. Of course.” But I can’t stop the wave of disappointment that crashes over me. I don’t want to let her walk away from me, not again, but what else can I do? So, I stand there and watch her leave. As soon as she’s gone, I find Pastor Rick.

“Grayson,” he says, genuinely pleased to see me.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” My heart’s in my throat. I haven’t sought the advice of a pastor in years. Do they even do that anymore?

“Of course. Let’s go to my office.” He motions for me to go first, and I walk out of the main room and down the hall to Pastor Rick’s office. He unlocks the door, and we walk in. He sits. “What can I do for you, Grayson?”

I sit, too, and take a deep breath. Then I tell him everything about my mom, her affair, and being shunned from my old church. He listens intently, without interruption, and so I keep talking. I tell him about Isabelle and how she convinced me to come back to church and how I messed things up beyond repair. When I’m finished, I’m winded and exhausted.

He’s silent another moment, and then he nods. “There’s a common misconception that God will never give us more than we can handle on our own, but that’s not true.” He leans forward. “Because if God only gave us as much as we could handle, why would we ever need Him?”

I open my mouth to speak but realize I have no idea what to say.

“God strengthens us. Spiritually. Emotionally. Without Him, we’d all fall apart.” Pastor Rick walks around to sit in the chair beside me. “Have you prayed for guidance?”

“Every day,” I say without hesitation. “I’m starting to wonder if He’s even listening to me anymore.”

Pastor Rick cracks a smile. “He’s listening. The question is: are you?”

***

I spent all last night praying and looking for a sign—anything to give me some direction on Isabelle. I want her back in my life, but how can I do that? Should I even try, or is it too late?

“Hey, earth to Grayson.” Vick snaps his fingers in front of my face.

I blink, clearing the thoughts from my mind. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I said you should come over today. It’s my only day off this week.”

“Yeah, sure.” I glance across the hall. Belle’s standing at her locker, oblivious to me staring at her. I frown and push my sleeves up to my elbows.

“You need a grand gesture, man.” He slaps me on the back.

I raise a brow and give him an odd look. “A grand gesture?”

He nods. “Girls love that kind of thing. I guarantee she’ll take you back.”

Yeah, I doubt that. Belle doesn’t strike me as the type of girl who is into grand, romantic gestures. Then again, I never thought she was the type to send me packing like she did. Thanksgiving break is only a week away. What kind of grand gesture can I plan and pull off in such a short time? Nothing. But…maybe it doesn’t need to be too grand. Maybe it just needs to be clever and funny. An idea pops into my head, and I’m so certain it will work that I know, deep down to my core, that this is God’s doing.

“I’ll see ya later,” I say to Vick, and then I walk up behind Isabelle. Shaking off my nerves, I tap her on the shoulder. She turns around. I swallow and offer a shy smile. “Hi. I’m Grayson Alexander, and I’m kinda new around here.” I stick out my hand. She tilts her head but takes my hand and shakes it. “I’m a terrible driver, and I suck at arcade games, but I’m a Christian who likes to go to church. My mom died a couple years ago, so I live with just my dad, who’s a mechanic. I’m an only child. Oh, and I’m always wrong. About everything.”

She laughs and releases my hand.

“I know this girl who likes to tell me just how wrong I am,” I continue, hoping she’ll play along. “I’m convinced it’s her favorite thing to do.”

“She sounds pretty great.”

“She’s incredible.” I smile, happy she’s going along with my little game. “Smart. Funny. Gorgeous.”

She blushes, and my heart races. “Sounds like she’s totally out of your league.”

I smirk. “Completely, totally, one hundred percent out of my league.”

Her eyes twinkle. “Well, Grayson, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Isabelle Carson. Also a Christian. I sorta have a reputation around here as a Bible thumper.”

I laugh.

“I’m a really good driver, and I rock at arcade games. I had a brother, but he died in a car accident. My mom’s a recovering alcoholic, and my dad’s a financial planning manager. I have two of the best friends in the world, and I’m ranked number four in the school.”

“Show off.” I grin.

“So, tell me more about this girl…”

We fall into step and head toward Spanish. “She’s always giving me a hard time, and she’s got this snarky attitude that’s so funny. But she drives me crazy, and I really don’t know what to do with her.”

“What do you mean?” she asks with so much innocence, my steps falter.

“Well, she kinda broke my heart.”

She frowns.

“I totally deserved it because I messed up big time. I know that, but what if I can never make things right again? I’m not sure I can handle another heartbreak.” I stop outside the Spanish room and lean against the wall. My pulse is racing, and I’m suddenly lightheaded. Maybe this entire conversation is a bad idea.

Belle stops, too, and stands in front of me. She’s quiet for a moment. “But what if you can make things right? You’ll never know unless you ask.”

My pulse races even faster. It becomes hard to draw in a breath. “I want a do-over, Belle.”

“When?”

Relief and excitement swirl inside of me like a cyclone, twisting into an entirely new emotion. “Right now.” I reach down and take her hand in mine, lacing our fingers. “I really hope you know how sorry I am.”

“I do.” She steps closer. “I’m sorry, too.”

I rest my forehead to hers. “Are you just about done getting your life back on track?”

She chuckles softly. “Almost.”

I groan.

“See, when I confessed everything to Hannah, she helped me make a list of all the things I needed to do to get my life back in order, and there’s still one thing left to do.”

“What’s that?”

“This.” She wraps her arms around me and crushes her mouth over mine.

I kiss her like my life depends on it, and when I pull away, I’m dizzy. But I’m smiling like an idiot. “Does this mean you’re my girlfriend again?”

“I will be after you do something for me.” She smiles, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“What?” I ask slowly.

“You have to meet my parents.”

Laughing, I hug her. “I thought you’d never ask.”