ELLIE
“Sorry, El,” he said, letting go of my hand.
“It’s fine. No one usually ends up on the couch,” I joked. He smiled before his expression turned melancholy.
“Not for that.” He placed his hand over his chest. “This pain…” He closed his eyes as if feeling it. I swallowed hard, feeling a pang of anguish. “I’m sorry if I ever made you go through this.” When he opened his eyes, they were filled with tears. I felt mine welling up too.
“Goodnight, Todd,” I said before returning to my room, my chest tightening with a familiar pain. I didn’t want to feel that again. I needed to get over whatever I still felt for Todd. Maybe at one time, I had wanted to see him suffer like I had. But I didn’t want that anymore; I just wanted him to find peace. It was time to leave all this behind, for both of us to move on without any bitterness.
*
Todd was still on my couch when I got up the next morning. I had already showered and dressed in my workout clothes when I stopped in front of the sofa. I nudged him, trying to wake him. He grumbled and stirred, opening one eye.
“El?”
“You need to get up, I’m heading out.” His eyes roamed over my body, assessing. Then he sat up, stretching.
“You’re going to the gym?” he asked, yawning.
“Yeah.”
“Are you walking?”
“Maybe, why?”
“Can I come with you?”
“Aren’t you hungover?” I crossed my arms over my chest, skeptical.
“Nothing a shower won’t fix.”
“I can’t wait.”
“I promise it’ll be just five minutes.” Moving on without bitterness, Ellie, don’t forget. I sighed.
“Then hurry up.”
On the way to the gym, I managed to talk with Todd enough to find out that he had returned to the country because he had become responsible for exporting his family’s wines to the United States. Todd’s family, whom I had never met, had been the biggest barrier between us, demanding that he return to Italy to expand the business. And now that they had succeeded, they would be exporting wine all over the country. Todd’s life was still driven by his work. Nothing seemed to have changed.
We parted ways once we arrived at the gym, and I only saw him again after finishing my workout. He was sitting at the reception desk and stood up when he saw me. Had he been waiting for me? I walked toward the exit, aware that he was following me.
“El?” He called out, making me stop on the sidewalk.
“What?” I turned, trying not to look at his sweaty shirt clinging to his muscular chest. Next time, Ellie, remember not to date attractive guys because it’s hell when they become exes.
“Can I buy you a coffee as an apology for last night?”
“It’s fine. It’s not necessary.” I hoped he wouldn’t confuse my kindness with “I’m giving you a second chance.”
“But you haven’t had coffee yet, right? And neither have I, and I really want to apologize if we could talk for a bit.”
“Fine,” I sighed, giving in. I’d use this as an opportunity to make it clear that we could be cordial and even get along, but nothing more.
We walked almost three blocks to the restaurant and bar where I usually had coffee with Anna. They served delicious coffee and the best pancakes in Manhattan. And honestly, I was starving. We sat at a table in the corner.
The conversation with Todd stayed pleasant while we waited for our orders and even while we had coffee, but I could feel we were nearing the inevitable and unpleasant talk where I’d have to crush any hopes he might have. He cleared his throat before starting to speak.
“I’m really sorry for knocking on your door last night,” he said, closing his eyes with a nervous smile as he pressed his fingers to his forehead. “I’m so embarrassed now.”
“It’s okay; it happens to the best of us. Who hasn’t knocked on an ex’s door drunk?” I teased with amusement.
“You?”
“Yeah, except maybe me. Thanks for making me feel less normal than I already do.”
“You’re amazing, and you know it.” He smiled, handsome, sexy, and charming. Just enough to remind me that it would only take a small slip-up on my part. Damn it. This is going in the wrong direction, Ellie.
“I think I need to make something clear…” I began to speak just as the bar door opened, catching my attention.
My heart raced, and my whole body froze. Ethan walked in, accompanied by Will.
Shit. What were they doing here? Their clothes made it clear they were coming back from a run. They walked until they were near a table.
Will sat down before him. Then, as if some force drew us to each other, Ethan’s gaze found mine when he stopped by the table and looked around as if searching for something.
I wished I could disappear. My entire body came alive with the memory of what we’d done in his apartment.
“El?” Todd called, snapping me out of the trance.
“What?”
“You were saying?”
My heart was pounding in my chest, and my hands started to sweat.
“Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom,” I said before standing up and grabbing my purse.
I hurried to the bathroom at the back of the restaurant. I placed my purse on the light marble sink and stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying to calm my breathing.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Why did he have to show up here? As if it wasn’t enough to run into him, I also looked like crap after my workout.
I took off the long-sleeved shirt I was wearing over my workout top, feeling the heat rising, then turned on the faucet to wash my hands.
I was thinking that I’d have to spend the next half hour hiding in the bathroom and send a message to Todd, telling him to leave without me, when I heard the bathroom door open.
My eyes moved to it, and my body trembled with a shock that nearly made me scream when I saw his back. I froze, watching as he locked the door before turning to face me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my heart racing uncontrollably.