ELLIE
My stomach twisted. It had to be some kind of joke from fate, though I didn’t believe in it.
Ethan still stood beside me, silent, and I wondered if he was ever going to say something. The look on his face told me he was far from comfortable. Maybe it was more than that.
The way his jaw suddenly tightened confirmed my suspicions—he wasn’t just uncomfortable; he was upset.
Just by looking at his face, I could understand exactly what he was feeling: anger, indignation, contempt, and, deep down, a bit of pain—all at once. And I understood him because I had been in that exact place before.
Part of me immediately worried about how this might affect him, while another, deeper part feared how it could impact us.
Deciding that was something to worry about later, I focused on what seemed more important at the moment.
“Ethan?” I called, breaking the silence that had stretched on too long.
All the emotions I had noticed before seemed to vanish from his gaze when he turned his attention to me.
“Give me a second,” he said, brushing his hand along the curve of my waist before pulling away.
I watched, a little confused, as he stepped forward, blocking the blonde from my view with his body.
What was he doing?
I couldn’t even hear what he was saying anymore; all I could see was the tension in his shoulders.
And suddenly, it just didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what he was saying to her. Not when he had just left me behind—not just literally.
His behavior revealed what I feared most.
He still hadn’t moved on. *He wasn’t over her.*
The realization hit me with such crushing force that I couldn’t keep watching. I needed air.
Stopping on the sidewalk outside the bar, I took a deep breath and stepped away from the entrance until all the noise faded. I wished I could do the same with my thoughts.
The cold breeze grazed my face, and I had to fight the urge to cry. I was feeling so many different emotions that I couldn’t even understand them properly. It was suffocating.
Why did she have to show up now? Why couldn’t she just stay in the past? That way, I could keep pretending everything was fine—that he really was ready, just like he said.
But now I knew it wasn’t true. He wasn’t ready. He was still haunted by his past.
And that meant I had to face the possibility that this dream we were living might have to be put on hold.
All the happiness I had felt up until just moments ago seemed to be falling apart, slipping through my fingers.
Once again, it felt like we were back to square one, and I didn’t know if I had the strength to deal with this anymore.
“Hey?” he called, making me turn as he approached the sidewalk with long strides.
Yet again, I had to take a deep breath just to keep myself from falling apart at the sight of him.
“What are you doing ou here? Why did you leave?” he asked, stopping in front of me, his hands sliding up my arms in a soothing caress. “Are you okay?”
Concern shone in his brown eyes.
“Yeah. I just... thought it’d be easier for you if I stepped out,” I lied.
“What are you talking about? Why would I want that?”
“It’s fine. I just thought—” I softened.
“Then don’t think, okay?”
I nodded.
“It’s cold out here. Let’s go back inside,” he said, taking my hand.
“Wait.” I stopped him. “We don’t have to.”
“I thought you wanted to dance,” he said, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“I... I’m tired. I think we should go.”
“Please, don’t do this,” he whispered, cupping my face. “Don’t start acting like this because of that.”
“I really just need to rest,” I looked away, feeling my emotions consume me.
“Okay... We made a deal, remember? Just talk to me. Just tell me what you’re feeling.”
I breathed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment to regain composure.
“Fine. I will,” I said, pulling his hands away. “When you do the same,” I declared, holding his gaze before walking around him.
I heard him let out a deep sigh as I walked away, leaving him behind on the sidewalk. But soon, I heard his footsteps following me.
✽
“Can we talk now?” he asked after closing the hotel room door.
Fortunately, he had stayed silent the entire walk back, but unfortunately, it hadn’t been enough time for me to sort out my thoughts.
“I think I was clear enough,” I said, slipping off my coat and sinking onto the corner couch to remove my shoes.
“Oh, babe. Clear is the last thing you’re being,” he said, taking off his coat as well. “You’re just running away like you always do, as if that’s going to solve whatever the problem is.”
“Whatever the problem is?” I forced a sarcastic smile, holding his gaze. “You’re the problem,” I stated, standing up. “Lying to me and to yourself this whole time. But you know what? I’m done with this.” I turned my back on him and walked toward the bathroom.
“God! I have no idea what you’re talking about!” He followed me. “Can you just tell me what I supposedly lied about?”
Placing my hands on the sink, I looked at him with frustration. I wasn’t in the mood to spell out the obvious.
“If this is about what happened tonight, I’m sorry, but you know I couldn’t control that encounter.”
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Then what? I don’t know what you want me to say—not when you won’t talk to me.”
“You heard me. I’ll talk when you do.”
He sighed heavily.
“Maybe if you just told me what the hell you want to hear, I’d say it.”
Ignoring him, I started brushing my teeth. Then I washed my face, removing all my makeup, and when I finished drying off, he was still standing in the same spot, arms crossed over his chest and a frustrated expression on his face.
Equally frustrated, I gave in with a sigh.
“You told me you were ready. You made me believe everything was in the past.”
He shook his head in confusion.
“You think she still means something to me? Is that it?”
“I don’t know. How could I? You never talk about it. Tell me—what should I believe? Your words or the way you reacted just by seeing her?”
“I was just...”
“Angry? And what does that mean?”
“It’s definitely not what you’re thinking.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me.” I stepped closer, stopping in front of him. “But you need to know that I won’t marry a man who hides his feelings and keeps everything to himself,” I declared, holding his brown gaze firmly before walking past him.