130 - Camilla Scott
130 - Camilla Scott
Camilla Scott
I walk slowly toward my room and see the door slightly ajar. Peeking through the crack, I see him sitting in the armchair beside the bed, his face softly illuminated by the light of the bedside lamp. There’s a calmness in Benjamin that always disarms me, as if he’s a safe harbor in the chaos of the world. He’s reading a book, but I know his thoughts are far away, maybe with me, maybe with our children.
I enter quietly, making no sound, but he notices me. He closes the book and lifts his gaze to me, his eyes shining with an intensity that makes me feel as if he can see straight into my soul.
“Finally, you’re here…” he says, a tender smile on his lips.
His voice is a sanctuary, a place where I can rest.
I walk toward him slowly, my hand resting over my surgery scar. I notice the nurse who accompanied me leaving me alone with my husband. My heart is racing, as it always does when I’m near him. Even after everything we’ve been through, all the pain and struggles, I still feel the same sensations I felt the first time I saw him in that cathedral. It was always him. It will always be him.
“They let me see our babies!” I say, sitting beside him on the sofa.
I lay my head on his shoulder and feel his fingers entwine with mine right there on his thigh. I hold his hand, feeling the firmness of his fingers laced with mine.
“I think I’ll always need you, Benjamin,” I say, reflecting on everything I experienced today with our children. “I don’t mean just physically, but today, taking care of all four of them, I realized the responsibility is immense. I can’t do it alone.”
He smiles, but there’s a shadow of emotion in his eyes.
“I don’t know how I’d live without you either. While you were in surgery, I begged God not to take you away from me…” he begins.
I turn to face my husband, noticing he’s wearing a different outfit than he had on this morning.
“Camilla, you are my everything. I don’t know how I’d manage without you, trying to be the best for our children without your guidance. What I feel for you isn’t just love. It’s something bigger, I feel whole with you by my side.”
Maybe it’s because I’m still recovering from childbirth, but my husband’s words hit me with overwhelming force. I want nothing more than to sit on his lap, kiss him, and show him how much I love him. His presence next to me is all I need right now and forever.
Perhaps what we’re feeling now is simply a reflection of everything our souls are experiencing. And as if he can hear my thoughts, as if he knows the longing in my heart, Benjamin carefully slides his hands under me, avoiding my bandages, and lifts me onto his lap.
An immense joy fills me as I feel his hand glide up to my face, caressing my skin with such tenderness that my eyes well up with tears. The way he touches me, with such gentleness and love, is enough to undo me. At that moment, we aren’t just a man and a woman. There’s no mere sexual desire, but a profound connection born from truly knowing each other.
“You saved me,” I whisper, pressing my forehead to his. “In every way, a person can be saved.”
I say this as memories flood back, how I forced him to be my first man, how I was astonished to find him digging my grave to rescue me, and most of all, how I saw him standing in that church, ready to become my husband.
He smiles, his tears reflecting my own.
”And you gave me something I never imagined I’d have. A family, four little pieces of me mixed with you, and beyond them, you also gave me a future. Four tiny lives I can’t wait to come home to and see the rooms you’ve lovingly prepared for them.”
“Our love is far greater than any problem, any situation involving who we are and our family’s business,” I say, settling myself more comfortably between his legs.
“Speaking of which…” I notice his expression change, though the lightness in his eyes remains. “You don’t have to fear anymore. I’ve put an end to that problem; there’s no reason to be afraid of anything anymore!”
“Did you kill him?” I ask, adjusting my position on top of him.
“Yes. I managed to extract all the information I needed from him and put an end to the agony of having him breathing!” I could see a sense of relief in Benjamin’s eyes.
Even though I know my husband is far from being a killer, far from having that look I’ve seen many times in men I’ve known-Denaro, Andreia, Fabrizio, and even my husband’s cousins. It’s a relief to know that the torment I felt, knowing Oleg was alive somewhere, has finally ended. I can finally relax and smile, knowing there’s no longer any danger that could harm me or my children. It brings me peace.
“I spent such a wonderful time with them today…”
Now that all the afflictions are leaving our lives, we can finally enjoy our children, even if it’s just visiting them in their incubators.
Though it’s late at night, we sit talking on the couch where he was resting. My father had already brought our suitcases to the room for both Benjamin and me. Shortly after, Victor brought us a meal, since my husband hadn’t eaten yet.
Of course, I’d give anything to be home, but the convenience of being close to our children and being able to visit the NICU at any time made me decide to practically move into the hospital. While we wait for our babies to gain the weight, they need to be discharged.
Our routine has become this: taking care of the quadruplets in the NICU, learning as much as possible for when we finally bring them home.
Days have gone by, and we’re still here at the hospital. To our surprise, a week after my babies were born, Amelia was admitted, experiencing some cramps she thought were just from moving Ravi’s crib. Two hours later, she was smiling, holding her beautiful miracle, a boy whose conception most doctors deem inexplicable due to her severe case of endometriosis.
Only Sophia remains, waiting for the arrival of her yet-unnamed boy at any moment. Today, Miley came to keep me company while Benjamin dealt with something at the factory, leaving me more upset than usual.
“You know he can’t be with all five of you twenty-four hours a day, right?” she asked as we entered the NICU.
“Of course I know, but today we’ll finally be able to hold all four of them at once!” I replied indignantly.
“Stop being dramatic. It’s not like you won’t get to do that again another day,” Miley said, smiling.
I rolled my eyes as the constant sound of the monitors, which always unsettles me, seemed louder today. I approached the sink, washed my hands, and put on a disposable gown, always available for visitors. Miley and I approached the incubators, and as always, my heart felt like it might burst as I looked at our four little miracles, our children. They’re so tiny, so delicate, yet every day they seem to change.
Miley went to the first incubator, where Will, a little boy with light hair just like his father’s, was. He moved his tiny hand toward the incubator’s small door, and my heart melted.
“He has your nose,” Miley commented sweetly, smiling.
“And his father’s eyes!” I replied, touching the incubator’s glass. “He’s perfect. Hi, my love, Mommy’s here.”
We moved to the next incubator, where Giorgia was. Today, she wore one of the many little bows I’d placed among her belongings. She’s a little girl with hair as light as mine. Unlike her awake brother, she slept peacefully. I gently touched her tiny closed fist.
“She’s going to be strong, like her mom,” my friend said, putting her arm around my shoulders. Warmth filled my chest.
We approached the other two, Julian and Vincenzo. They were fighting sleep, looking like they wanted to rest more than they could, while I just wanted to pick them up, hold them, and cover their rosy cheeks with kisses.
“You’ve changed our lives forever,” I whispered, looking at the babies as if they were priceless treasures.
I crouched next to Giorgia’s incubator and smiled as I saw my little girl giving a tiny smile. We stayed there for a long time, just watching them, marveling at the beauty in everything they did, their little movements, and above all, thanking God for how well they were progressing.
“We’re so blessed,” I said, my voice low and filled with emotion.
“I have good news for you!” one of the pediatricians said.
“Are we getting discharged?” I asked, knowing that wasn’t it.
“Maybe in a month, if they keep gaining weight as they are!” Hearing that made me let out a huge sigh of relief.
Miley hugged me warmly and kissed my cheek. I knew this was just the beginning of something amazing, something I never imagined I’d have, a family. A life full of love.