41- When you are in love
\- That's why you write about her… - She pointed - to say everything you kept quiet.
\- Exactly - I nodded, immersed in my tears, I wiped my cheeks. I interlaced my fingers wanting to hide something that I was once aware of under my skin. I thought of the buildings breaking and the ground cracking every time I touched her. And on my skin flashing as much light as the stars have intensity. I pushed my hair back and sighed deeply until I regulated my breathing.
\- It seems to me that you try to protect her and that bothers me a lot Anastasia - Melisa said with a bitter face when she noticed the effort it took for me to talk about Paola.
\- Well… What else do you want me to say? - I asked dryly.
\- How long were you together… Were you together in Venezuela? Or did you meet in Spain? What was she like? I mean… I already know that she used drugs and was emotionally irresponsible. And also a huge idiot who didn't value you but what... What made you fall in love with her?
\- We were together for a blink of an eye, a blink of an eye – I waved my hands in the air and snapped my fingers – And that's it. And wait... how do you know she's from Venezuela?
\- Fuck, because you don't tell me anything, and well, I checked some of your photos on Facebook.
\- Yeah...- I said, looking at her with understanding. Melisa shrugged her shoulders but I could understand how she felt. I remembered what my psychoanalyst had told me: Don't think about Paola, don't talk about Paola, fuck Mel.
\- When was the last time you talked? – She insisted on bringing up the subject again, after a silence.
\- Right before I met you. I got drunk and made a scene of jealousy on the phone. I discovered that he was now having an affair with a friend of his in Seville – I shrugged my shoulders, embarrassed.
\- You being jealous? – She lowered her sad gaze – You never are with me.
\- Because you don't give me reasons – I told her taking her hand sweetly. I blinked and I could feel my eyelashes moistened by my tears.
\- I think it's because you don't really care what I do – Mel said in a bitter tone.
\- No, it's not that – I whispered to her, and I felt my own desperation for wanting her to really matter to me. I didn't want Melisa to think that I didn't care. Did I care?
\- Did she cheat on you? – Mel asked.
\- No, I don't think so – I answered shaking my head – I don't know the truth. But she moved to Seville before breaking up, things weren't going well… after a while living alone, without her here in Barcelona everything fell apart. I suffered a lot, she would suffer too… I don't know the truth. Now she is a stranger to me, I can't tell you anything else because I don't know her anymore, I don't talk to her either.
Don't walk away
Don't walk away love
\- Did they break up on bad terms?
\-No no. She was unbearably understanding, but seeing her and knowing about her hurt me so we did it for me in a way the one who decided to walk away was always me. I always loved her more than she loved me – I admitted feeling a pang in my stomach.
\- Okay. Do you still love her?
\- Yes – The breath became icy and my legs weakened.
\-Do you love me? – Mel asked, sure he knew the answer. I looked at her indignantly, she had set me up. I nodded and smiled at her.
\-Anything else? – I questioned her, rolling one of the waves of my hair between my fingers. She looked at me expressionlessly.
\- No, I can live with that.
\- Okay – I added, thinking that it hadn't been so difficult after all. I sighed and let myself fall on the bed, buried my head in the pillows and stared at the balcony. It would soon be night and it was raining hard.
\- Anything you would like me not to do? A warning... something she... – Mel continued, poking at my sadness.
\- No, you are perfect for me just the way you are, with your humor, your life, your angels and demons – I admitted – I love the way you are. We understand each other. – I accepted with excitement, looking at Mel’s beautiful face and her left dimple bordering her smile. She looked at me intently and I could feel affection in the way she looked at me. – Just don't be unfaithful to me, or hide anything from me, never promise me something you won't keep. Whether it's taking me out dancing or calling me when you're away. Because I'll stay dressed all night, or awake by the phone, okay? – I asked her.
\- Okay - He nodded with bright eyes full of sky color. I let out a relieved laugh and looked at her with excitement.
\- Oh… and when one of your friends speaks badly of me and I'm not there, you defend me! Don't let them talk about me if I'm not present. You see, I have Mercury in square with my moon, so I'm prone to suffer slander and to be criticized. Because I have a hard time making myself understood. – I explained to her, remembering my astral chart. She curved a smile on her thin lips.
\- I love it when you talk about astrology – She admitted. – You can trust that no one will talk, I will always defend you, you are my girl. – She added. She smiled at me and her blue eyes sparkled sweetly. I thought I saw a sea spread out in her pupils. We both gave each other a little kiss.
I wanna touch you, slowly
I\`m a lonely girl
\- Do you want to go to Malaga? – She asked me after a silence of our lips joined.
\- I like your friends, but I'd rather go out with Maria tonight…
\- Okay – She whispered crawling up to me. Then her hands took my neck and she looked at me expressionless.
\- Can I ask you something? – She asked taking my face and leaning towards my mouth.
\- Sure – I said in a small voice. Her hands were now strangling me.
Mel took me by the waist and left a thin trail of burning with her fingers as she slid over my legs. Then she ran her finger along my chin and bordered my lips.
\- Use that sweet tone of voice only with me, okay? – She asked me.
I\`d love to hurt you, easy
I\`ve got you, inside me