34- White dancer energy
\- - And did you feel happy when you told her?
\- Yes, of course – I thought – Mel always listens to me… she is very sweet – I smiled remembering Melisa caressing me while I snuggled in her arms – I told her but I still felt like I wanted to share it with Paola.
\- I see… the grief caused by your loss remains latent, and it causes you suffering. It is evident that Paola made you suffer and those burdens towards her are still trapped inside you. We are going to work today with the first hypnosis session to get to the root of the problem, okay?
\- Okay.
The doctor made me walk to the end of her large office. It was decorated with two pictures on both sides and in the middle was the black padded couch on a red carpet.
\- First of all, I want you to close your eyes and immerse yourself in your mind and thoughts, let the calm necessary to return you to your past life arise - She told me - We are not sure if we will be able to reflect this energy of yours when we do the regression, but we will work on the memories that constitute the link of your feelings towards the lost object, in this case Paola. Generally, those emotional ligaments when they are so deep have been cut in other lives, so we can assume that this separation with Paola had already happened to you in a past life.
\- The law of karma and the power of attraction.
\- Exactly, we will start from that hypothesis - The doctor got up from the chair in front of her desk and sat on a black leather piece of furniture next to the window, without taking her eyes off me she lit a cigarette - Okay?
\- Okay.
\- Now I want you to feel comfortable and take off your shoes - She asked me, watching me lying on the couch in front of the window. I stood up to take off my shoes, and assuming the situation that I would be hypnotized, I took off my blue jeans jacket and was left only in my black dress. Two thin gold bracelets in the shape of stars suddenly seemed to weigh on my wrists. Now I only looked at the ceiling of the office while I felt the doctor's voice getting closer to me. - Hate and love fight each other Anastasia, the first to detach the libido from the subject, the second to isolate you from it. Hate and love are what oppose the rise to consciousness on the path of your purpose. You have to understand that it is the same energy only at opposite ends, hate is nothing more than love, so do not be alarmed if we talk about hate we talk about another kind of love. This path is closed because of your melancholic state. The traumatic events that you may have experienced with the object make you repress all feelings. When the burden of the threatened libido is finally removed from the object, it will not take refuge in your ego, so the libido will stay with you, but you can understand that you have stopped feeling love for the object at the moment of displacement, that is what I need to find. The solution lies in working with your memories of Paola.
\- Oh... I see - I said in a confused tone.
I want you to close your eyes, Anastasia. Let my voice guide you. With my voice, we will make a complete reconstruction of your past life with the memories that are deep in your subconscious. You will allow my voice to guide you in this regression exercise. I want you to close your eyes on the count of three and let me enter your mind… one… two… and three. Eyes closed.
The creaking of the wood resonated beneath my bare ankles. The room was warmly lit with the light that bounced off the mahogany walls and illuminated the entire room unanimously. A door on the floor with two wooden openings was exposed. I took one of the metal handles, placed on the floor, and pulled it up to open the door. A weak light rose from the bottom illuminating some stairs. I could clearly see the first step that descended beyond where my curiosity could not reach. I leaned towards the bottom, blinking, barely breathing through my mouth as if I was afraid to breathe or be discovered doing something wrong. I tilted my head, looking inward until my hair touched my ankles. I stood up and put one foot on the cold, cemented floor, then the other. Then I began to descend.
As I lightly moved my feet on the cold, smooth stairs, I felt a tobacco breath brush my cheek, and a lavender scent permeated me from some garden at the bottom of the stairs. I had left behind the black dress and slippers I had worn for the consultation that afternoon. Now in their place, I was wearing a white lace blouse and a red chiffon skirt. The stairs were straight and descended diagonally until they curved in the shape of a spiral. I felt like I had passed the limit of the room above many steps ago. My legs became lighter as I approached a dazzling light, naked in its absolute whiteness. Suddenly I discovered that I was no longer wearing the red skirt, now I was wearing only a white dress with a nice flow, very loose and comfortable. The rays of the sun filtered through the windows framed with Greek architecture, which wrapped around the walls and covered the descent. The light of day filtered through small slots that illuminated the floor and warmed my bare shoulders. The space became increasingly narrower until finally I was in front of the white light and I passed through it as if I were absorbed by it. I felt a sensation of well-being, a kind of white energy radiated from outside filling my muscles with life, my soft and smooth back, my shoulders, my chest and my legs filled with energy along with every pore of my skin. An intense tingling ran through my chest and I felt my body full of joviality, shining in its splendor, I lit up like a star in the endless night. My lips were filled with hundreds of crystals and my skin fully radiated a golden and diamond-like shine.
When I was on the other side of the light, whose source of illumination had completely disappeared behind me, I entered the living room of a large house. I walked between large furniture filled with pillows, all white, many brown and red cushions, and mustard-colored silk veils decorated the place. I felt my toes settle on the feel of the velvet that stretched out next to the carpet. I walked on a cream-colored carpet that took up the entire living room. I was still wearing the white dress with large ruffles, it was a Greek-style dress, held only by a garment that joined the fabric on my left shoulder and clung to my body. The dress was adorning me in perfect harmony with a tiara in my hair. My hair was wavy and full of starlight, covered by a mantle of frost. It kept its champagne-blond hue, and some loose strands fell like a silky curtain behind my shoulders. I walked anxiously back and forth waiting for someone, I tried to find out my name but I couldn't. I only knew that the anxiety accumulated in my body didn't allow me to stay still. I went out onto the balcony and the sound of the sea embraced me warmly. I stretched out my hands to feel the calm of the sea, along with the wind between my fingers. I could feel the foam covering the sand and the smell of salts mixing in my nose. As I looked at the sea, a smile curved on my face and I left behind all the worry for that person who hadn't arrived yet. I went back into the room and noticed that a baby grand piano was in the living room. Hidden between the curtains, it decorated two glass doors that led to another balcony. "Or was it a garden behind the curtains?" I didn't know for sure. She was a dancer, I knew it. I contemplated the image of the bright blue sea and I was certain that she was a dancer.