Breaking point

Adam reaches over and grabs the baggie from the ground. The other two shine the cell phone light on him. I watch as he pulls out the pills and inspects them.

"They're Percocet," Adam says. Rayan's head turns to me and there's an emotion in it that I can't identify and don't care about either. But it's something I've never seen before.

"Why the fuck are you taking pills?" he growls in what I imagine is a hurt voice, but it's not true. He doesn't care, so I don't know why he's acting like this now.

I shrug my shoulders without answering and that seems to excite him. He grabs my shoulders with his hands and shakes me.

"Answer me!" he demands, and I let out a dry, hollow laugh.

"Why the fuck do you think I'm going to take them, asshole?". I yell at him, not caring who's around.

"Because you're a fucking asshole?" he blurts out and I snap. I start punching him in the chest, overcome with anger and all the hatred I feel for him.

"It's because of you, you fucking asshole! I haven't had a moment's peace since I got here. You've shoved your fucking hatred down my throat and guess what? Your hate is too much to bear," I sob. "It's like a fucking drug you keep giving me, why are you so surprised that I had to get real drugs to help me cope and not drown under all the pain and hurt you've inflicted on me?" I yell at him as I continue to beat his chest as I collapse in front of them, fuck.

"I-I-"

"We all have our vices don't we? You're addicted to hurting me, humiliating me and insulting me in the worst way possible.Me? "I'm addicted to things that could one day kill me.I'm addicted to you and look where it's getting me! You can't stop fucking me like the whore you keep calling me, and yet I'm nothing but your dirty fucking secret, am I?".

"You..."

"Don't give me your bullshit. Don't act like you suddenly care, not tonight. And to answer your earlier question, yes, I'm a junkie now. Silly girl, that's what addicts do, right? They keep wanting more of the bad shit, knowing it's impossible to stop wanting it." The sobs rack my body as the ache in my chest from earlier increases.

"Am I pretty enough for you now? Don't you like the new me? Or am I still a cow, ugly and fat...? Do you want to know the truth about me? I tried to change my looks because you and your minions ripped me to shreds. but guess what? I hate this girl in front of you, but not as much as I hate you," I whisper through my tears.

I make a move to get away from him, but I barely take a few steps and fall to my knees, my stomach cramping. I clutch my chest as I scream from the sudden, intense pain that shakes my body. Before it was just twinges, but now it's a full-blown pain. I double over as I feel another wave of intense agony.

I clutch my stomach again and lie on my side in the grass as I wait for the pain to subside, but it seems to intensify as the seconds pass.

"What the fuck is happening to him?" cries Charlie's trembling voice .

"Fuck! I don't know, but we need to get her to the hospital now!" Rayan grunts as he runs to me and picks me up. Then he takes off running with me in his arms.

Adam sits in the front seat of Rayan's car and he sits in the back with me in his lap. The cramps have become unbearable and tears stream down my face.

"I think I'm dying," I whisper as my chest starts to ache too. I rub it to try to make the pain go away.

"You're not dying. You have to get it," he tells me in a voice full of emotion I've never heard from him before. My eyes are heavy, so I close them for a second.

"I'm tired. I need a nap..." I say, half-heartedly. He pats my face a couple of times and I open my eyes to look at him.

"I need you not to fall asleep for me, honey. We're almost there. I need you to keep looking at me," he whispers.

"It hurts to look at you," I whisper, choking back the emotions.

"I know, baby, I know. But don't leave me, okay? I can't lose another person I love because of pills," she tells me, her voice choking with emotions and sounding distant.

"I was never on the list of people you love. All I got was your hate," I whisper, closing my eyes again.

RAYAN

I'm scared...

So fucking scared because I have no idea how many pills she took. Plus, she was drunk out of her mind and still drinking when we found her in the backyard.

As Adam drives us towards the hospital, I feel like I'm entering that dark place I found myself in after my mother overdosed.

The same dark place that started all this revenge and stalking bullshit to begin with. I was pissed, angry and fucking hurt that I missed all the fucking signs that she was on drugs. But then again, even if I had noticed, I'm sure I wouldn't have cared at the time.

But I do now. I care more than I'd like to and it's still fucking with my head. The last time I was vulnerable with her, which was a few days before the wedding, I couldn't stand it. Of course, I went back to being the asshole I was.

I wasn't vulnerable in front of anyone, so I had to show her that she still meant nothing to me. I guess that fucked her up more than I expected.

I was never on the list of people you love. All I ever got was your hate.