Calum left the cave before dawn to get to the ridge where he sent Gage and Devin. The ‘cave’ as it turned out, was an actual cave, with several extras added, Furniture, cabinets and in one corner, a distillery, that he had no idea how Marilyn got to run without power. It felt like a cabin that was made out of stone. Part of him didn’t want to know how she did it, she was…he couldn’t think of a word to adequately describe her.
He hadn’t slept more than a few minutes. Instead, he paced or stood in the entrance of the cave fighting his own instincts to go back to Shaelan. His cat was as conflicted as he was, understanding why he couldn’t, but not being at peace with the facts. He wasn’t used to not being in synch with his cat, since his very first shift both halves had always been connected with the same destination in mind. He was battling with himself in the last day, while keeping his cat contained so he didn’t go back. If he’d been able to shift and burn off the emotions riding him, that would have made his life less tense as he waited for backup.
Traveling was a little easier, now that he knew what to look for. Marilyn explained how they got the drop on shifters they tranq-ed had made his ego feel less damaged. Now that he knew to check up in the trees and not down, he was able to move with more confidence and speed.
He paused and looked down the ledge he’d just climbed. Needing the physical exertion to burn off his impatience, he’d taken a short cut and gone up instead of around. During the climb his mind bounced all over the place, but always ended up back on Shaelan. One of the many things that had him swearing in frustration. How the hell Gage had lived with this torment about Kelsey for so many years, he had no idea. Then again, maybe he did, he’d left his mate more for her safety than his. The main problem in this entire situation was her father…he’d had to leave so he wouldn’t do anything epically stupid that would put her in harm’s way. Not that what he’d just done was smart either, climb a shelf on a mountain covered in burrs…his clothes did not deflect them like his fur, he’d discovered. At least he’d have something to do while he waited for the guys to get here, pick burrs out of his hair, clothes and boots.
Double checking his location, he nodded and got back to getting to that ridge. Devin and Gage had until dark to get their asses on this mountain, then he was going back to the village—with or without them.
Shaelan set the book aside and got up to pace around the room, again. She’d done that at least ten times now, trying to work off the uneasy feeling that was plaguing her. Before that, she’d stood out on the small deck behind the house and stared off into the trees. Had she hoped to see Calum? Yes, then again, she would have had a fit if she did. He needed to stay away. He had to stay away.
Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she looked from one to the other. Every few minutes her skin felt like it was crawling with something. If it were just her arms, she’d say she was anxious, but the feeling was on most of her body as well.
“You are wearing me out, just watching you today.”
Nona’s voice made her jump. She blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I can’t sit still.”
“I caught that.” Setting the knife down, she pushed the tray of herbs away and grabbed the edge of the table to assist her in standing up. “Your cat is riding just under your skin…” She came over to her and rested a cool palm on Shae’s arm. “You’re away from your mate.” She gave her a soft smile. “You have every right to be uneasy.” Patting her arm, she chuckled. “Someday, when all this settles down, I’ll tell you about my first change.” She winked at her. “I damn near ripped Mari to shreds.” Shaking her head, she went over to the window. “It’s a small blessing she can’t shift…” Glancing at her over her shoulder, she raised her brows. “We can’t control the woman, imagine the cat.” Jerking her head toward the glass, she grinned again. “Speaking of…here she comes, half the length of the stairs ahead of your mother, Aunt Louisa and….”
When she stopped speaking, Shae went over to look for herself. Her mother had her arm wrapped around someone. It was Billie. Shae turned and ran for the door, leaving it wide open in her wake. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could manage.
Her mother stopped walking and Billie looked up to see her. She started running up the stairs, two at a time, her long black hair flying out around her like a cape.
Shae stumbled down the last few steps to get to her, landing in her arms when she stopped. They squeezed each other tight, both panting and shaking from the exhilaration.
“I wanted to see you…” Billie gasped. “I had my first heat…and…” She buried her face in Shae’s neck and squeezed again.
“…I didn’t know yet, so you couldn’t,” Shae finished for her, just as breathless.
Billie nodded, then paused and inhaled in an obvious manner. She leaned back and covered her mouth, a tear rolling down her eye. “Oh Shae, they sent you in there too?”
It took less than a heartbeat for Shaelan to understand what her friend meant. “Oh…no.” She hugged her to her again. “Come on. We have to talk.” Billie just nodded.
Aunt Louisa and her mother ushered them up the steps as they clung to each other, awkwardly tripping every few feet.
Shae glanced at the other faces in the room; all were tear-stained.
“Bastards,” Aunt Marilyn hissed. “No one has ever been brave enough to explain to me…” She glanced at Billie. “…in detail what it’s like.”
Billie sniffled and shook her head. “I don’t blame…” Her tears started flowing again. “I don’t even know his name.”
“We’ll find out.” She couldn’t believe what Billie had gone through. It wasn’t at all like it had been for Calum and her. These herbs they used on people made them frantic, almost mad with need…it was vile. A shiver ran down her spine. They had to stop this before more women were hurt. Looking from Billie to her mentor, she waited until Nona looked up. “We have to tell them the rest.”
Marilyn moaned, pained. “Everyone has a right to know what’s been happening under our very noses for so long.” She shook her head. “Barbarism is what it is.”
Her mother set her cup down on the table and looked at Marilyn. “What are you talking about?” She dabbed a hand on her cheek, wiping the dampness away.
Shae inhaled slowly and blew out a long breath, gathering her words. “Calum found a mass grave of remains, of bones…”
“Bones?” Her mother frowned. “What kind of bones?”
“Our kind, Faye, the remains of shifters,” Nona supplied in a quiet voice.
“What do you mean?” Billie asked, her voice shaking.
Shae wrung her hands together, trying to keep it together enough to explain. “One of Calum’s missing clansmen was there, still wearing his collar…” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “He’d been shot in the head.”
Her mother jumped up so fast she jarred the table, causing the cups to rattle. “What are you saying? The cap…men released are killed?” Her voice was high pitched. “That’s…that’s impossible. They go home,” she said quietly, confusion in her tone.
Getting up, Shae went to her mother. She hadn’t expected a reaction like this from her.
“Oh no,” Billie gasped.
With a hand over her mouth, terror in her eyes, her mother stood there shaking her head back and forth. “No…” She inhaled a ragged breath. “No, I can’t accept that.”
“Mom?” Shae put a hand on her arm to steady her. “It’s okay, we’re going to put a stop to it…”
Her mother looked at her but wasn’t really seeing. “I always thought he went home. I was at peace with it that way.” She shook her head. “How could I be so stupid?”
Pulling her hand back like it had been bitten, Shae looked over at Nona, who was looking at the floor, then to her aunts, no one would make eye contact with her. Something broke inside her in that moment and Shae slapped her hand on the table, sending cups clattering. “What aren’t you telling me now?” She knew she was yelling, but after the last few days, she really didn’t care. Chancing a glance to Billie, she saw confusion on her face, and felt just a tiny bit better that she wasn’t the only clueless person in the room, for a change.
Standing there with her hands on her hips she watched the older women in the room glance to each other, they kept looking to her mother, so clearly this was for her mom to tell. Taking a deep breath, she tried to be calm enough to ask, even though she wanted to demand. “Mom?” Her mother didn’t look at her. Shae studied the emotions on her face, they went from shame to anger, to mourning. It could only mean one thing. “Mom, is he my father? Leroy—is he my father?”
Her mother’s teared eyes jumped to connect with hers. She shook her head. “No.”
Shae put a hand on the table to steady herself. “Who is?”
A hollow expression replaced the sadness in her mother’s eyes. “I don’t know his name…they…they were numbered and the names in the book are—” She exhaled a ragged breath. “—was his assigned name.” Her mother sat quickly, as if her legs had given out. She stared past Shae’s shoulder, her eyes glazed, not seeing anything. “It’s your middle name: Kel, only we add more to them, depending on the sex of the baby…” She gave her a guilty look, “Kelani. It’s how they keep track, so half-siblings don’t mate.”
Shae’s legs gave out. She dropped down to the floor and lowered her head onto her knees, hugging them. “Finish,” she growled, unable to feel anything but rage.
“Shae…” Nona said softly.
Lifting her head, Shaelan glared. “I want her to finish explaining why a man that has hated my very existence for my entire life has been masquerading as my father.” Nona sat back in her chair again. Turning slowly, Shae looked at her mother, the woman that had, up to this point, been the only pure and unmarred thing in her world. “Finish,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I had a mate, not a true one, but we loved each other.” She nodded, looking down at her own hands. “He had been injured, in a fight…” She glanced fleetingly at Nona, “He was the true alpha of the clan and…” She exhaled a slow breath. “And we were discussing putting an end to the captive breeding…he didn’t agree with it.” She finally looked at Shaelan, tears filling her eyes. “But…we couldn’t conceive, so I consented to participate in the breeding program.” She offered a shaky smile. “We just wanted a child to love.” The words garbled as she continued, “Your fa-Leroy killed my mate in a challenge to become alpha…” She swallowed a sob. “My family had always led…” She held a shaking hand over her mouth, “He didn’t know I was carrying you when he took over…” She shook her head several times. “He let me keep you when he found out.” Her whole body stared shaking. “He thought he would be seen as strong and virile when it was revealed that I was pregnant so soon after…” She shook her head several times. “Nut he never truly accepted that you weren’t his.” Her eyes pleaded with Shae. “I would have died before I gave you up.”
Shae didn’t know how long she stared at her mother. She rocked her whole body gently as she hugged her knees tightly. “Where’s this book?” Her voice sounded hollow, even to her own ears.
“I can get it,” Nona said softly.
She didn’t turn to look at her. “I want to see, with my own eyes, if I have siblings I didn’t know about.”
“You do,” her mother said in a sad tone. “That boy you liked we forbade you to hang out with. Kellan is his middle name.”
She had a brother. No father. Her entire life was one lie after the other. “Does he know?”
Her mother shook her head. “Only the elders know, outside of the alpha and maybe the second family.”
Shae nodded her head in time to the rocking motion of her body. Stopping herself, she pushed to her feet and stood there for a moment. Forcing her numb legs to move, she walked to her room and closed the door. Locked it, then she slid to the floor and leaned against it. Outside it, she heard someone else do the same thing and knew that Billie was there. She didn’t think she could face even her right now.
She stared at the bookshelf, not really seeing it. Her heart physically hurt, but she couldn’t form a tear. So many lies. Her entire world was one lie after another. Shae felt rage move through her, and she jumped up, screaming as she swatted at the books on the shelf. They flew in the air, clunking into whatever they hit. Picking up the shelf, she heaved it at the wall and then spun around and flipped her mattress off the bed. Her dresser was next, the drawers were pulled out and flung across the room. She stopped and stood panting and shaking. Calum, she wanted to see him. Not even he could fix this ness. She screamed again, making a noise she had never before heard in her life. The sound of a lonely, wild animal.
“Shae,” Billie’s voice came through the door. “Shae, please let me in,” she pleaded.
The tears fell so fast now, she blindly stumbled to the door and placed her cheek against it as she reached to unlock it.