Chapter 15—Steven

I stood on the balcony and stared down at the bar. It’d been over a week since things had gone south with Madison. She barely spoke to me and when she did it was in clipped tones and always about work. I’d started ruining my teeth with candy again. I was miserable. I was horny. And God help me, I missed Madison so damn much I was on the verge of tears. It wasn’t just the sex I missed either. I missed her—her smile, her laugh, her smart mouth, the feel of her warm body snuggled up to mine at night.

I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but my need to get Madison back. That fucker Craig wasn’t helping matters at all, either. He’d been glued to her for the past week.

Three days ago, I’d seen them at the beach together. Craig kept grabbing Madison’s waist and tossing her into the water. She’d laugh, say something, and he’d do it again. The desire to drown him had been all-consuming. Thankfully, Jessica had called, or I probably would’ve gone through with it.

Last night I’d been forced to watch them leave the club together. Hand in hand. I was blind with raw jealousy at the thought of him and her in bed together. The night of the botched threesome and the memory of Craig touching her robbed me of my sleep and my sanity.

And now I had a front row seat to watch Craig put his hand on the small of her back every time he walked past her. He’d stop and kiss her cheek each chance he got. It was becoming clear that the only way I was going to get Madison back was to get Craig out of the picture. And I knew exactly how to do it.

* * *

“Jessica,” I said, barging into her office and slamming the door behind me. “I want Craig out of Scorched. I don’t care where you put him, but get him the hell out of my club.”

“Good morning, Steven. What did Craig do to warrant getting transferred from Scorched?”

“He’s dating Madison. My Madison,” I said loudly.

Jessica tossed her pen on her desk, leaned back in her chair, folded her hands on her lap, and gave me a smug smile. “Your Madison?”

I didn’t know if Madison had talked to Jessica, but I had. I’d told her everything so it really shouldn’t be a surprise what I’d just said. I plopped down in the chair and shoved a piece of candy in my mouth.

“I take it she still isn’t talking to you?” Jessica said.

“No.”

“And you’ve tried?”

“Of course I’ve tried,” I said, biting down hard on the candy. “But fucking Craig is always around.” I’d much prefer if he wasn’t anywhere on the damn island, but I knew that wasn’t possible.

“You do realize that transferring him from Scorched isn’t going to stop them from being together if that’s what they want.” Her voice had taken on a softer edge, but her words still stung.

“Watching them together is killing me, Jess. I can’t tell you how many times and how many different ways I’ve fantasized about killing him.”

She leaned forward on her desk, her eyes full of concern. “Do you love her, Steven?”

I popped another piece of candy in my mouth. That was the same question I’d been struggling with for days now, and I still wasn’t any closer to having an answer.

“Do you remember that night you came over and I cried on your shoulder about Mark?”

I nodded.

“Do you remember what you said to me?”

I shook my head. What did this have to do with me and Madison?

“You said, ‘You need to find someone to take your mind off Mark.’ I think it’s time you took your own advice,” she said.

“So, you’re saying I should just forget about Madison and move on with the next woman that comes along?” I said the words slowly, unable to believe I was saying them. Or that Jessica had even suggested it.

She nodded. “That is what you do, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” I stood. So much for hoping Jessica would help me. She saw me the same way everyone else did—a man who only cared about getting laid.

“God dammit, Steven,” she shouted, slamming her hands on the desk and standing. “Pull your head out of your ass for minute and look at what you’re doing.”

“And what exactly is it that you think I’m doing?” I snapped.

“You’re letting that bitch of an ex of yours ruin your life. You live your life everyday based on what she said to you. You’re living the life she thinks you deserve. It’s not the life you want, and we both know that.”

I’d never heard Jessica use that tone with me before. She was so passionate and concerned. It was touching—and mildly unsettling.

“Where do you think I’d be today if I’d lived everyday based on what Mark thought of me?”

“A lonely, broke, old hag with too many cats and no friends,” I said with a smile.

“You’re more than just a good fuck, Steven. You have a lot to offer a woman, and the sooner you realize that the better.”

I’d needed to hear that for a long time. I was grateful to Jessica for saying it, but I really needed to hear it from Madison. I needed to know she could love me for me and not for the orgasms I could give her.

“You may not have done anything with that woman, but it doesn’t matter. You’re going to have to apologize to Madison. If she’s the one you want, then do whatever it takes to get her. Get on your knees and beg if you have to,” Jessica said.

“What if she doesn’t want me?” There. I’d said it aloud. I’d put a voice to the fear that paralyzed me.

Jessica came around to the front of her desk and hugged me. “Then she’s an idiot.”

I chuckled.

“Now to answer your demand,” she said, stepping back. “I’m not going to transfer Craig from Scorched. He fits in well there. You’re a smart guy. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to get Madison alone long enough to talk to her.”

“Thanks, Jess.”

“No problem. Now get out of my office. I’ve got work to do, and you’ve got groveling to do.”

“Man, you’re mean today. I think maybe Travis needs to give you a good—”

“Get out, Steven,” she said, laughing.

A plan started to form. I was going to get Madison back. Tonight.

* * *

I walked into Scorched to find Craig, Madison, and Barb behind the bar getting ready for when we opened in half an hour. I took a deep breath. It was show time. “Madison, in my office. Now,” I said without looking at her.

“No,” she said.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and slowly turned around. The tips of my ears burned hot, and my stomach dropped to my feet. I marched to where she stood behind the bar. “Excuse me?”

“Despite what you might think, you are not my boss, Steven. Connor is. So, if you have a problem with the job I’m doing here, take it up with him,” she said, propping one hand on the bar and the other on her cocked hip.

My gaze locked with hers. I knew she wasn’t going to make it easy on me, but I hadn’t been prepared for such a defiant show of insubordination. “Craig, Barb, you’re both free to go until it’s time to open,” I said.

Barb grabbed her purse and took off. Craig, however, decided to stick around. I eyed him with disdain. “Craig, get the hell out of my club,” I said, my tone quiet but firm.

“I’m not leaving Madison alone with you unless she tells me it’s okay,” Craig said.

Did that moron really think I was going to hurt her? For Christ’s sake! “Madison?” I said, cocking my head in her direction.

She turned to Craig, put her palms on his chest, and whispered, “It’s okay, Craig. We knew this was coming. I’ll be fine. You can go.”

My gaze followed Craig as he stiffly walked out of the club. I blew out a breath. It was now or never. I’d been waiting for this moment, and now that I had it, I couldn’t blow it. Like Jessica said, I had some groveling to do, and I wasn’t opposed to getting on my knees to beg, either, if that’s what it took. “I’m sorry, Madison.”

“For what?”

“For what you walked in on with that woman, but you have to know it wasn’t what you think,” I said.

“So, what was it then?” Her entire demeanor was cold and distant. I hated it. I wanted the hot, passionate woman I knew she was.

“She’s a regular guest here at the resort. A guest I’d been sexually involved with before. When she walked in here, I thought it was you at first, and the second I realized it wasn’t, I pushed her away.”

“Please don’t lie to me, Steven. I saw her in your arms, and I saw you kissing her,” Madison said, her voice wavering.

The look in her eyes tore at my heart. I knew I’d hurt her, but I had no idea how much until right now. I absentmindedly searched my pockets for candy, needing the sugary burst to get me through this.

Madison took a bowl from under the bar and slid it down to me. “Is that what you want?”

I looked into the bowl. It was full of butterscotch candies. Suddenly, I no longer wanted them. The sight of the golden candies wrapped in clear plastic pissed me off. They represented the times in my life when I didn’t have Madison. “No,” I shouted, grabbing the bowl and throwing it across the bar. “I don’t want any god damn candy. I want you, Madison!” She was clearly shaken by my outburst. I took a few hesitant steps toward her and calmed my voice. “I’ve wanted you every single minute of every single day since you’ve stepped foot on this island.”

“Don’t you get it? You had me, Steven. You had me every damn night for two weeks.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Is that why you fucked the first set of big tits that jiggled in front of your face? Because I wasn’t enough?”

“Fuck!” I pounded my fist on the bar. “That is not what I said, Madison. You’re the one who isn’t getting it. I want more of you.” Calm down fuck face or you’re going to scare her off for good.

“That’s the sad part, Steven. I was willing to give you as many nights as you wanted.” Her voice had softened.

“Give them to me now,” I said, taking her hands into mine, my eyes pleading with her.

She pulled her hands from mine and shook her head. “I can’t.”

A swift kick to the groin with the heel of her boot would’ve hurt less. She’d turned me down. I’d asked for more, and she’d said no. Now what? Don’t give up, you dipshit. “I know I fucked up.”

“Did you have sex with that woman?”

“No.” I put my hands on her waist, and she didn’t stop me. I pulled her flush against my body, and she still didn’t stop me. That was a good sign.

“And you’re telling me the truth?” She rested her hands on my chest and looked up at me with so much hope it choked me.

I nodded, lowering my mouth to hers. “I’ve never lied to you, baby.” My lips brushed over hers. “I’m not about to start now.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“God, I’ve missed you,” I said, taking her bottom lip into my mouth and kissing it before slipping my tongue between her parted lips. She leaned into me and moaned lightly as her tongue stroked over mine, twisting and turning, growing more frenzied with each passing moment.

My brain exploded, and I once again found myself operating on pure emotion. I loved kissing her. Hearing her moan, her labored breathing, her chest rising and falling in time with mine was a feeling I wanted to savor forever.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, tilting her head to the side as I trailed kisses down her neck. “But that doesn’t change anything.”

I stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Steven. We had our chance, and it didn’t work.”

“And why can’t we give this a second chance?” My voice was wavering between begging and hysterics. I couldn’t lose Madison. I loved her. I should tell her that. No. I’m not going to put my heart out there for her to stomp on—which was exactly what she was doing.

Madison stepped out of my embrace. “Because I don’t want to.”

She didn’t want to? Anything else, I could’ve handled. I could’ve reasoned through her objections, but not wanting to? How the fuck did I overcome that? The answer was clear: I didn’t. Without another word, I gave her a single nod and then went up to my office. I slammed the door. Then I opened it and slammed it again for good measure. She didn’t want to. What the hell had I been thinking? This was the exact reason I didn’t let myself get involved with women for anything beyond sex.

“Fuck!” I screamed, shoving everything except the computer off my desk, tipping the chair over, kicking the desk, and throwing my name plate across the room. “God damn motherfucking sonofabitch!” I lowered my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. It was something I’d always done when I was annoyed. It calmed me. Tonight, I did it to stop the burn of tears. Was it supposed to hurt this much?