Chapter 10—Connor

I sat in the tub with Vanessa between my legs, her back to my front, with my arms tightly wrapped around her stomach. In the two years I’d been living here, I’d never once used the large tub. And I had a feeling that after tonight, I’d never use it again.

It was Vanessa’s last night at Paradise Falls, and although we both knew that, neither of us had brought it up. It’d been on the tip of my tongue, several times, to ask her to stay. But Jessica’s words echoed in my mind. She has a life outside of this island. Jessica was right. Vanessa had a life. A damn good life. Who was I to ask her to give that all up for me? A selfish prick that only cares about keeping her close to me no matter what the cost to her. I had nothing to offer her, so I had no choice but to let her go. It was like three years ago all over again.

Except this time, I’d make sure we parted on good terms, as friends. If nothing else, I wanted Vanessa to look back on her time here with fond memories. In a pathetic sort of way, it was all I could offer her.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Vanessa’s soft voice pulled me back to reality. I pressed my lips to her temple and lingered. “It’s your last night here,” I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. “Is there anything you want to do?”

She turned her face to me and caught my lips in a tender kiss. “If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“Why would I make fun of you, Vanessa?”

“I…” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I want to make love with you again.”

Desire slammed into me with the force of a runaway freight train. My dick jerked at the thought of holding her and savoring her like that again. “I think I can manage that.” I got out of the tub, wrapped a towel around my waist, and held one out for Vanessa. “What a shame to cover such a beautiful body,” I said, leading her into the bedroom.

“We do this my way, tonight.”

I cocked a brow and smiled. As much as I wanted to claim her, to let my hands roam freely over her body, I would give her this. Tonight, I would give myself to her—fully and without question. I was too much of a chicken shit to tell her how I really felt, so I hoped I could show her. “How do you want me then?”

“Lay down.” She pulled the towel from my waist and smiled at my erection.

“Someone’s ready for me.”

“I’m always ready for you, Vanessa,” I said as I lay down on the bed, tucking my hands behind my head.

Vanessa dropped her towel to the floor, climbed on the bed, swung her leg over my waist, and straddled me. Her breasts pressed against my chest, her hard nipples poking me, making me crazy with need. She teased my lips with a much too short kiss before adjusting her body on mine. Her hand held the base of my cock as she slowly lowered herself down on me. The heat of her pussy, the sound of her moans, the rush of sensations through my veins was like I’d just been zapped by a Taser. “Vanessa, sweetheart, ah God.” I was at a loss for words. I tentatively put my hands on her thighs.

“Connor,” she moaned with a slight wince.

I realized she hadn’t fully taken my cock yet. “Nice and easy, baby. Take your time.” Even if it killed me, I wouldn’t rush her.

Her lips found mine again, kissing me harder as she took all of me deep inside of her. I grabbed her ass, squeezing it, guiding her up and down on my cock. Her moans reverberated through the room, cementing her place here forever. There was no way I’d ever be able to have another woman in here. Hell, I’d never be able to have another woman again period. When she pushed down, and my cock was buried fully inside of her, I held her there. She tried to wiggle. “Vanessa, please.” There was a begging quality to my voice that I didn’t care for. “Slow and easy, sweetheart. Enjoy me. Enjoy the feel of my cock inside of you.”

“God yes,” she groaned.

“Do you feel how hard you make me, Vanessa?” I eased my grip on her and she slowly began to move again. “Can you feel how much I want you?”

“Yes.” Vanessa sat up fully, and I drew a sharp breath. Her hips rotated against mine, driving us toward our orgasms, toward the physical bliss I’d only ever found in her arms. She let her head fall back to her shoulders, and her lips parted on a stolen breath.

I watched her ride me with her head flung back, her hair hanging in wet strands down her back, her hands cupping her breasts, her fingers tugging at her nipples. She was magnificent. I stared at her in awe, burning the image of her into my mind. This is how I wanted to remember her—sexy, uninhibited, and loving me. Her rhythm became faster; her pussy tightening around my growing cock, and her face contorted with a look that I knew meant she was ready to come. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her. Her legs locked around me, her heels digging into my back, urging me to keep up the momentum we’d created.

“I need you, Connor,” she whispered against my lips as she rocked on my lap.

“Take me, Vanessa. I’m here, right here,” I said, meeting her downward thrust with an upward surge of my own. She screamed as her orgasm crashed over her like a tidal wave, dragging me into oblivion with her. I kissed her neck, unable to let her go, unable to face the fact that this was the last time I’d ever feel her soft, lush body against mine. The last time I’d kiss her tender lips. The last time I’d hear her cry my name as she rode out her orgasm in my arms. The reality of it choked me. I started to pull away, and she clung to me.

“Don’t let me go, Connor. Not yet.”

“I won’t.” I held her to me, stroking her hair, breathing in the scent of her jasmine and honey perfume, wishing the night would never end.

* * *

Vanessa had insisted on going to Jessica’s office to talk to her before she left. I’d practically begged Vanessa to stay with me until the last possible moment. That hadn’t worked out so well. Now I stood at the dock, watching her hug my sister goodbye. Tears pooled in Vanessa’s beautiful blue eyes. My heart broke. She was too pretty to cry.

I blew out a breath as Vanessa released Jessica and turned to me. She put her arms around my neck and buried her face. I squeezed her. “Thank you,” I whispered. Thank you? For what? For having mind-blowing sex with me for the past week? Come on, you can do better than that. “Don’t be a stranger, Vanessa.” Oh, that’s much better. Dumbass!

“You either,” she said.

Reluctantly, I released my death grip on her and planted a soft, lingering kiss on her cheek. God, I wanted to drop to my knees right here and beg her to stay. But nothing had changed. I still had nothing to offer her.

“Make sure you call me when you land,” Jessica said.

“I will.” Vanessa waved a final goodbye and boarded the boat.

She stood near the railing, watching us and waving as the boat took off—taking her farther and farther away from me. I felt like I was having a heart attack, a panic attack, an asthma attack, and a stroke all at the same time. I bent over, put my head between my knees, and took several deep breaths. Is this what it was like to feel your heart breaking in your chest?

“Hey?” Jessica rubbed my back. “Are you okay?”

Ice cold panic coursed through my veins. I didn’t tell Vanessa I was sorry for running out on her three years ago. I didn’t tell her why I’d done it, and I didn’t tell her I loved her. What had I done? Why hadn’t I asked her to stay? Or offered to go with her? I looked up, desperate to catch a final glimpse of Vanessa. She was gone. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I’m just not feeling well.”

“Come on. I’ll walk you home,” Jessica said, putting her arm around my shoulders. “I’m really going to miss her.”

I already did.