I Love Him

I Love Him
She felt bad but the thought of Brenden hanging out with Dr. Swift, laughing and unconsciously flirting, made her feel worse.
Irene was sitting behind a computer in the nurses' station, looking up labs. When Dr. Swift passed by and disappeared into the dictation room, Irene reacted without thinking, standing without hesitation and following her inside.
Dr. Swift was just opening the chart she carried in and turned around at the sound of the door opening. When she saw it was Irene, she smiled tightly, then turned back around and began flipping through pages.
“Irene,” she said cordially, resuming her work, and Irene stood there a moment while wondering what she was doing. What had she planned on saying, because everything was suddenly blank.
Irene cleared her throat. “Dr… Swift.” The use of her formal name hung in the air, highlighting the barrier between them.
“Did you need something?” she asked without looking back.
Irene looked at the sink, wondering if she could pretend she was coming to wash her hands. Dr. Swift flipped to the X-ray and began reading a CT report like she were not there.
“Actually… yeah.” She didn’t bother sitting down because she didn’t plan on taking long. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“I don’t think I was always that nice to you. And if I was… I wasn’t always thinking nice things. And you haven’t done anything to me… besides insinuate that you still like Brenden…”
“Brenden’s a great guy,” she said conversationally, her eyes still glued to the chart in front of her. “Any girl would be a fool not to like him.”
“Right.”
“It’s fine if you don’t like me, Irene.”
“I want to like you. For Brenden.”
Dr. Swift shot her a look over her shoulder. “Why waste your time?” Her tone was doubtful yet curious.
“I’m not. It’s just—remember when someone stole drugs under my name?” she began. “Well, I thought it was you. I didn’t have a good enough reason to come to that conclusion; I was just being petty, I guess. And I don’t want to be that kind of person. Plus, I can understand if two people are better as friends than they are romantically. And if you enjoy Brenden’s friendship—” she punctuated the last word. “—as much as he enjoys yours, then I would really like to try and be okay with it. So, yeah… That’s why I kind of want to like you. Unless you want to steal him away from me or something, in which case I’ll continue to hate you.”
Dr. Swift turned around fully, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. She regarded Irene with keen eyes. “Are you being serious right now?”
Irene wasn’t sure if she should be insulted. “Yes.”
“So you really do like him.”
“I love him.”
“Good.” She smiled and with her striking features, it occurred to Irene that Dr. Swift was a beautiful woman. And yet she no longer felt threatened by this. “I’m glad he is with someone who loves him enough to do what you’re doing. Because not everyone would.”
“Thanks?”
“I was actually going to get lunch right after this. I don’t know… do you want to join me?”
The question was awkward but Irene felt a small sense of relief still.
“Sure,” she said, her tension easing. “That would be nice.”
.
They sat in the cafeteria around other people. The conversation was forced and strained. It was everything Irene expected it to be. But with other people nearby, each engaging in their own conversation, the silence between them wasn’t stifling. It was uncomfortable yet bearable.
They talked about the food for a while. Her fish was burned to a crisp with the consistency of a soggy cardboard, and Irene made a mental note to never try it again. Andy would be appalled to know she had strayed from the safe menu he had carefully curated. Dr. Swift had a bowl of salad and the grease glistened over the meat like it was threatening to clog her arteries.
The talk of Dr. Sylvia came next. Neither of them liked him in the end. What a coincidence. They resorted to conversation about the weather and everything else. But Brenden never came up.
When they parted, there was no sense of satisfaction. Irene didn’t feel she made much of a difference in their relationship, and she was not sure she would think any differently of Dr. Swift from then on. But then, they had an excuse to be civil.
Dr. Swift knew she could talk to Brenden at work without worrying about Irene lurking in the shadows with a rusty scalpel and a syringe of poison. And while Irene didn’t plan on telling Brenden about her attempt at making amends, she hoped he would benefit a little from what she tried to do.
Because that was all Irene really hoped for.
.
A month later, Talia stopped Irene in the break room on her way into work.
“Did you hear what happened?” she asked, teeming with excitement.
“No? What?”
“Dr. Silvia doesn’t have privileges here anymore. I heard he was even going under evaluation over his medical license.”
“What?” Irene grinned, her elation at the news perking up an otherwise uneventful morning. “What happened? He pissed someone off too many times? Tried to kill another patient?” Irene wished she could claim that the last comment was said jokingly.
“Both. Well… kind of,” Talia answered casually. “Apparently, he argued with the staff over the correct site during surgery. The idiot was going to operate on the wrong arm. Can you believe that?”
Irene was disappointed that he wasn’t sacked sooner and that it took him nearly making another terrible mistake for the hospital administration to open their eyes and take action.
When she said as much, Talia simply shook her head in agreement. “At least he’s gone now. That is one blessing for the day.”
Irene put her stuff in her locker and followed Talia to the nurse's station. Andy was orienting a newcomer to replace Sine, a girl in her late twenties who reminded Irene of herself. She moved here after a divorce and while they differed in that she had a small child, she came there seeking independence and a new life like Irene had wanted.
Riley had already hit on the newcomer twice. She blushed when she talked to him, but when Irene asked her about it, the other stated she wasn’t ready for a new relationship.
“I’m just getting settled in, you know?” she told Irene. “Besides, I think I like being single. Now, I can look and touch. Plus, there is no one there to bitch at me when I go home. Nothing but peace and quiet,” she concluded dreamily.
Irene didn’t argue because she felt the same way to a certain point. But one didn’t always get to choose the order of their life. Things happened and almost always for a reason. Even if one had to dig deep about it.

Life was unpredictable, rarely going down the path one intended to take. Yet if one opened their mind and their heart, the outcome could be glorious.