Chapter 51 In another universe
I look at the fingerprints on my face, and I know I can't go to my family for Sunday lunch looking like this. All hell will break loose and Ben would be a dead man, regardless of who he is.
I don't know what the fuck I should do. Do I run to my uncle and tell him what is happening? But what things does Ben have on my family or was he just bluffing, but this Ben that I don't know doesn't look like a man who would bluff.
He completely blindsided me. I'm trying to think of times where he brought out this side of him, but I'm coming up with nothing, because he's never showed me his true self.
I have already cried almost the whole night, and I have a splitting headache, betrayal stabbing daggers in my heart.
It was all a fucking lie. Yes, I didn't see myself marrying him, but I've known Benedict Cargill for almost ten years and no Hollywood movie has produced a better actor than him.
He's busy fooling the whole world. He even fooled my aunt who usually sees straight through a person.
I shiver when I think of the malicious look in his eyes. He's been hiding that all along, and I've been the fool for never seeing it and always thinking the best of him.
Does Miguel know what he's really like?
Could that be the reason the two don't get along?
Fuck, what am I going to do?
My phone starts ringing in one of Tchaikovsky's signature songs that we dance Swan Lake to, and my hand trembles when I pick it up, dreading that it's him.
But it's my mom, and I instantly feel panicked. What if she's on her way to my place? If she sees me like this, there is going to be a whole lot of drama, and I just can't let that happen. Not before I don't know what the fuck Ben might have on my family.
I'm not fucking stupid. There's no way my family did everything above board to achieve the financial success that we've had. And my whole family's finances are intertwined, every business that we own is shared among us.
So if one of us falls, we all fall.
If Ben really has something that can damage us, it wouldn't be good for the family as a whole.
I will always protect my family if it comes down to it.
Even if my soul is screaming at me not to get married to that man.
I almost vomit as I recall his words from yesterday.
"You can be so lucky I've been fucking some slut the whole morning."
Here I was feeling so guilty for sleeping with Miguel, but he's probably been sleeping with multiple women.
How the hell did I miss the signs!
I have to get tested. I don't know why I trust Miguel so much that I never felt the need to get tested with him. But I had sex with Ben without a condom and I feel dirty.
Has he been fucking other women unprotected, too?
The phone rings again, and I try to gather my composure before answering.
"Hi Mommy!" I hope my voice sounds steady.
"Hi baby girl! Lunch is at our house today. Are you coming over?" She sounds like her beautiful, cheerful self and I almost burst into tears and tell her everything.
"Can I take a raincheck? Gregory announces the cast tomorrow, and in case I get the part of Clara, I want to be really prepared." I lie through my teeth.
"I know you work very hard, my baby, but it's Sunday!" Mom whines. "And everybody is watching the game here."
Of course, football season has started, and my dad left for an away game.
"I'm sorry, Mommy, I'll make it up to you." I'm being manipulative on purpose, the Mommy always gets to her and she usually relents.
"You owe me."
I can practically see her wagging her finger at me.
"Whatever you want." I tell her, hoping that when she cashes in, the marks would be gone.
I'm not all that good at applying makeup because I've never had a problem with my skin, meaning I only ever apply it very lightly. If I'm going to wear heavier makeup than usual, she's going to notice instantly.
"I've got to go." She makes a kissing sounds over the phone. "And please don't overdo it, we don't want your ankle giving in again."
"Yes, Mom, love you, bye!"
I stare at the phone in my hand.
I'm not dumb. I should tell someone, but who? I can't tell Simon, because I don't want this going back to my job. That means I have nobody apart from my family.
Instead, I take pictures of my face, and hide them in a folder that's encrypted. Because what if he hacks my phone? I don't know if he could, but I do it just in case.
I scroll to my contact list and hover over Miguel's contact that I still have saved under Black. Would he be able to help me? But Ben is his brother, even though they hate each other, they are still family.
There's no way this is my life now, it's like I'm living in a fucking alternative universe and I'm an alien looking down at this madness.
Just then my phone buzzes with an incoming message. It's probably my aunt demanding to know what is wrong.
Instead, it's from the person I hate the most right now.
And my jaw drops when I press play on the video.