Chapter 49 It's over
My heart beats fast as I run past the other early morning joggers in the park. I still haven't heard anything back from Ben, which is a little unusual for him. He did say he was busy with a very high profile case so maybe that's why he's been so quiet.
I do realise that in the past, this is exactly what I did to him. I would only send texts stating that I was too busy to hang out.
I should've felt relieved, but I don't. I have to break up with him sooner rather than later. It's already going to be a fucking media frenzy, but uncle Dario always tells me that a scandal is only a scandal until the next scandal arrives. Let's hope the next scandal arrives very quickly then.
I blast the music in my home studio and stretch before I practice the solo of The Nutcracker. It might be one of the most famous ballets, but Gregory always has very intricate choreography.
I check my phone frequently, but still nothing. I send him another text to call me whenever he has a chance.
I take a shower after I'm done, and grab lunch, driving to Amelia's to check what she's up to. Alonso always trains, even on a Saturday until about four in the afternoon, and us girls usually get together for lunch, but it's been a while.
They live in the coolest place. An old warehouse that Alonso converted into an ultra modern home.
It's so interesting how the homes of the triplets differ.
Alessi's home has this warm feeling to it, and even though Arcangelo almost always wears black, his home is an artist's paradise. It's always full of color and musical instruments.
I ring the bell and show my face into the camera, and the door clicks open, so I let myself inside.
"Amelia?" I call out. "I brought tacos!"
She doesn't answer, but I find her in the kitchen, her hands on the marble top kitchen counter with her head bent and her eyes closed.
"Hey." I walk over to her and lay my hand on her back. "What's going on?"
Tears start dripping from her eyes and she turns herself into my arms, and just cry. I just hold her, and rub her back like she once did for me. And I feel so terrible that I've been so engrossed in my own life that I haven't made time for her when she's always just a call away for me.
She sniffles and pulls back, wiping her eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, don't be sorry, what's going on? Is there anything I can do?" I take her hand in mine. "Is it Alonso? I can kick him for you if you'd like."
That makes her chuckle at least. "Of course not, he's perfect."
I wished I had that level of love, but I push my own wants aside.
"So what is it then? I'm sure whatever it is, it's fixable, right?"
She shakes her head. "I don't know yet. God, I'm an idiot."
"I'm sure you're not."
Her light-blue eyes meet mine in turmoil. "Summer is pregnant again."
"Oh." I definitely didn't expect that. They already have five kids. "Is Alessi trying for a boy?"
"I don't know." Another tear drops from her eye. "I'm over here feeling so fucking jealous! Summer is popping them out like fucking bubbles and we're over here trying for months and absolutely nothing!"
And here I though my life was in absolute shambles.
"I feel like a fucking failure!" She continues sobbing. "And Alonso keeps on saying that it's okay if we don't have any babies, I'm enough for him, but I see the way he looks at the girls, Madz, and my heart breaks every fucking time!"
I just hold her while she gets everything off her chest, and listening to her only strengthens my resolve.
What if I can't have kids? What would Ben say then? I know for a fact that he wants a heir, that's just part of their lineage. He doesn't even know I'm on birth control.
Would he be kind to me like Alonso is to Amelia?
I know he would be kind, that's who he is, but he will never be satisfied with not having his own children. I know that for a fact. He comes from a family obsessed with carrying on the Cargill name.
I make her eat the tacos, and I call Alonso that he has to come home immediately. And guess what? Twenty minutes later he was there, still dripping with sweat from training, but he didn't think twice. He left everything to be with his wife, yet Ben can't spare me an hour because he's too busy.
I call him again on my drive home, and he actually picks up.
"Hi baby." He drools, and it actually pisses me off. "I was just about to call you. I miss you so much, can I take you out for dinner?"
What I have to say to him can't be said in public, so no restaurants.
"Can you meet me at my place?" I ask. "There's really something we have to talk about."
"Sure, I'll be over in about an hour."
I pace the living room, the fucking couch mocking me that bears memories of Miguel.
Even if I leave Ben, I won't be able to start anything with Miguel, it would cause too much scrutiny. Not just for me, but also for him, because what kind of man sleeps with his brother's girlfriend? It wouldn't look good for either of us.
I hurriedly open the door for him, and I can feel his apprehension when I give him my cheek when he comes in for a kiss.
"What is this all about?" He frowns at me, his eyes immediately going to my hand. "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"
My face is flaming, nerves stuck in my throat, but I have to do this, so I swallow and close my eyes momentarily.
"Ben," I start, hoping he can see in my eyes how much I regret what I'm about to say. "We've been together forever, and I love you, and I always will, but I don't think we're a good fit for each other. I should never have said yes when you proposed."
"What?" He says in disbelief, and I feel even worse for doing this to him.
"I'm so sorry, I just don't think we belong together." I shake my head. "I think it's best if we're over. Forever."