Chapter 36 This is goodbye
"Why are you doing this to me?" Goosebumps break out over my skin as my fingers clutch the brick of the wall.
"Because I want to." Teeth nips at the skin at the base of my neck.
My ass wouldn't be able to take more of his punishment.
"This is wrong." I shut my eyes tightly, willing my body not to become pliant to his, but I'm already standing on my toes wanting to feel his cock rub against me.
He's made me insatiable for him. He's been using my body against me without revealing his identity, and even now that I know it's him, my body still yearns to be filled by him.
"Tell me you don't want me." He growls in the signature voice of Black while cupping me over my jeans.
"I..I..." God, why don't the words I should say come over my lips? "We shouldn't do this."
"Then tell me to go." He licks a path up to my ear and nibbles on my earlobe. "Tell me to stop and I'll never bother you again."
My heart skips a beat at his last words.
Isn't that what I should want? For him to never bother me again and I can just push all of this under the rug? My body will heal from everything he did to it, Benedict never has to know. I can go on with my life as if he never rocked my world.
But I want him.
Just one more time.
Then I'll say goodbye, and return to my life as if he was never in it.
So I press the elevator button doors, and when it opens, I turn around in Miguel's arms and look into his turbulent eyes.
Butterflies erupt in my stomach, and my brain wars with emotions it has never felt before.
"After this, we are done." I whisper words that I really don't want to. I want to hold onto this feeling of freedom, of being alive, of soaring when I'm in his arms. Feelings I've only ever experienced when I'm dancing.
He clenches his jaw, his eyes telling me that that's not what he wants, but he just nods and leads me into the elevator when it opens.
We don't exchange words. There is nothing left to say, but goodbye. He stands on the opposite side of the elevator clenching his helmet in his gloved hand, and I fold my arms over my torso trying to protect myself from the hurt unfurling in my chest.
I'm so fucking confused.
Miguel is not a good person. He manipulated me into this fucked-up love triangle that his brother isn't even aware of. His own brother. And he killed someone without even thinking twice. What else is he not capable of?
So I'm doing the right thing here.
One more night and we're done.
His presence is like a dark cloud behind me when I let us in my apartment. There is so many questions I should ask. How did he always get in, but I don't know if I'm willing to know the answers.
There's no chase and catch this time when I go straight for my bedroom, and he follows. I don't switch on the lights, but he puts them on and dims them, creating a romantic atmosphere. Light enough so we can see everything of each other.
We mirror each other as we both take off our shoes and socks, then I wait with bated breath when he peels the Henley off him.
Miguel Cargill is a work of art. That is the only way to describe him. His muscles are so well defined, it looks like a sculptor made him and my feet carry me until I'm right in front of him and trace the lines of his pecs, his stomach muscles clenching and his breath picking up as soon as my fingers touches his smooth skin.
If this is my last time, I have to savour it. My hands follow his arms, over the powerful slopes of his biceps and triceps, up over the valleys of his deltoids.
I've admired the human body since I can remember, the things it is capable of.
Miguel's nostrils flare as I touch him, his eyes smoldering on me, but he doesn't touch me, he lets me explore his eight pack until I slowly undo the buttons of his jeans and pull down the zipper.
His cock is already straining in his black boxer briefs, and my mouth literally waters as I pull it out. My lips part as I see it for the first time.
The cock that has been destroying me is long and impossibly thick, angry veins running up its length until they reach a big crown.
I have no choice but to fall to my knees and worship it, my tongue hungrily tracing those veins.
I promise myself again that this is the last time I will do this, and thankful that I got to see it with my own two eyes.
Miguel's head falls back on a groan when I take the bulbous head into my mouth, opening my jaw wide to fit him inside. One of his hands grabs my ponytail and holds my head hostage as he forces more of his length into my mouth until I gag.
Unlike other times, his hand in my hair gentles and he pulls me off his cock, then he lifts me as if I weigh nothing and I eagerly wrap my legs around his waist and throw my arms over his strong shoulders.
We just look at each other, again no words being spoken.
I wonder what is going on behind those soulful eyes.
It's so funny how I always thought he was so cold and aloof, when now a myriad of emotions flash through his eyes.
He closes the distance between our mouths and he brushes his lips featherlightly over mine. I don't know why, but a single tear escapes from the corner of my eye with my heart beating fast against his naked chest.
When his tongue snakes out to slowly tease the seam of my lips, I kiss him desperately.
I tangle my tongue with his in a slow dance that I never want to end.
But it has to.
Because tonight is the end of Miguel Cargill and me.