Chapter 32 Take me back
The presence of Miguel is everywhere I turn. He's fucking everywhere I look.
Does he know that I know?
Unreasonable jealousy spreads through my stomach when I think of the blonde that he was with in the restaurant in California. Who the fuck was she? I don't think he has a girlfriend, Ben has never said anything, but the two of them don't exactly see eye to eye either.
Speaking of the latter, he is sitting next to me at dinner, talking politics with his father and my uncle while rubbing the skin of my open back.
It feels weird, I don't want him touching me, but it would raise too many questions if I shoved his hand off me.
Also, I owe him.
I owe him for fucking his brother. The guilt of what I've done has been festering ever since I saw that bite mark.
I'm a terrible person. I'm one of those girls I used to judge who would jump from guy to guy without thinking of the consequences.
I look up from my plate, and from the corner of my eye I can feel his eyes burning on the side of my face.
Blood whooshes in my ears and like a magnet, I turn my head and my eyes clash with the volatile ones of Miguel.
His nostrils are flaring like a bull struggling to contain his anger. His eyes go from mine to the arms that is slung over my chair.
The message is loud and clear.
He doesn't want Ben touching me.
I'm his.
Does he know that I know?
He has to know if he's openly looking at me like that.
"When do you go back to the company, Madison?" Amelia breaks the tension between us, and my eyes swing to her. "Have you spoken to Gregory yet?"
I'm sure my face is on fire from that exchange. I've never been good at hiding my emotions.
I clear my throat and pick up my dessert spoon and cut into my fancy cheesecake. My hand is slightly trembling, so I put the spoon down and clear my throat.
"I'm seeing him on Monday, I have to audition for my part again."
The fingers on my back stop moving, and I can feel Ben's attention shifting to me.
"It's preposterous that he would want you audition again." Mom says. "Maybe Dario can speak to him, they're friends after all."
"Mom, please no." I close my eyes momentarily. "Please don't interfere with my job, I have it hard with the other dancers as it is. Everyone already thinks I'm being favoured."
"Please, everyone knows you're the best there." Alessi, my cousin and one of the triplets says.
"Nothing is a given in the ballet world, you know that. And I'd rather work for my spot fair and square." I push the dessert away.
"Or maybe you can sit this one out." Ben says gently. "Let your ankle heal completely, maybe start next year fresh."
I stiffen, and I can feel everyone's tension around his words.
Alonso chuckles next to Amelia. "Dude, you have no idea how hard we work to get to the level we are. Our family don't just sit out. If we're down, we get back up."
I thank him with his eyes, but I can literally feel Ben's discomfort.
"It's just that she won't be here for Christmas. My company has a Christmas ball and I would like my girlfriend to be there with me."
A chair scrapes loudly, and everyone's head swings to Miguel getting up.
"Excuse me." His eyes meet mine momentarily before he throws his napkin on the table and walk away.
I feel like the ground could swallow me whole.
I want to literally disappear. What if my family realise something is off?
And why the fuck do I suddenly feel so aroused by the way Black is acting?
Miguel.
Not Black.
God, Miguel is Black.
What am I going to do?
The conversation goes on around me about Christmas and all the plans everyone is making.
"Where ever you are in the world baby girl, we will go where you are." Mom holds her glass in the air in a cheers.
My eyes scan the crowd for Miguel, but it seems like he disappeared.
"You owe me a dance." Ben whispers in my ear, and I let him lead me to the dance floor.
My body feels foreign up against his. We haven't been this close since before I left. Fuck, before Black.
"I'm sorry for that back there. You know I will never interfere with your career, I just wanted to be with you for Christmas, that's all."
"Ben, we've broken up, remember?" The guilt of it all bleeds into my voice.
His arms tighten around me, sadness in his blue eyes that makes me feel even shittier.
"I can't let you go." He whispers brokenly. "You're my everything, Madison."
I don't tell him that I feel that's a lie. His job is his everything, definitely not me.
"It feels like you don't want me to dance." I tell him. "You know how much it means to me. I only have a few years left."
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry." He says hastily. "I won't ever do that again, I promise."
Oh god. Is this the time where I should tell him that I cheated? But I can't do that to him. I will break him.
"Please Madison, we're end game." He kisses my cheek, and holds his face against mine. "Take me back, and I will do everything to make you happy."
I see him then, standing on the edge of the dance floor with his hands in his pockets, looking at us.
My heart yearns to go to him, to confront him, to ask him why he did what he did.
But I can't, so I tell Ben what I have to, to put all of this behind me.
"Okay, I'll take you back."
Ben stops moving in the middle of the dance floor and captures my face.
"I'll make you happy." Then he kisses me tenderly.
When he starts moving again, I look at where Miguel was standing.
But he's no longer there.