Chapter 198 Just Stay Epilogue - Lucille POV
I unplug the last of my cables and roll it neatly to place it in the box. I'm going to miss this place, it's been my home for almost a year now.
I'm not going to lie if I say I'm going to miss the man in it the most.
But I always knew this was temporary. Raul and I never talk about our relationship, or whatever it is we have.
We usually have dinner together when he's around, and after that we have sex. I thought it was a good arrangement. We talked about everything and nothing, and sometimes we would even share a bed.
The time has come for me to go, though.
Miguel bought into T.J.'s security company, and they're expanding the business, making me the head of the digital division. So I no longer have to work in Raul's dining room, and it's probably about time I look for my own apartment.
I can't explain the sadness that washes over me at the thought. I knew this day was going to come. The only reason I was staying here in the first place was because Miguel was scared for my safety. It seems all the threats have been taken out with Caroline being murdered as well. There is no reason for me to stay here anymore.
Apprehension comes over me when the front door opens, and I hear Raul's whistle .
I never intended to start sleeping with him. It just happened. We were on the couch watching a movie one night, the next thing I know he had his hand down my pants and finegering me until I gushed as I came. The rest as they say, is history. We fucked every day ever since, but neither of us talking about what it all actually means.
I hear his footsteps halt at the entrance to the dining room.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
I turn around to look at him. God, he looks so good. I was so enamored with Miguel, the hero complex so big, that I never noticed how good looking Raul was when he came to visit his best friend. There are literally girls in the country throwing their panties at him, and I was just blind to it all.
"I'm moving my stuff to the new office." I turn back to my things. "You would probably be happy its not all over your house anymore."
He's quiet for a beat before he asnswers. "I didn't mind."
"Well, I officially start on Monday, and I like to have mny own equipment, so..." I trail off, feeling awkward as fuck. I was never good at expressing my emotions, a result of my mother not believing me when I told her my stepfather was abusing me.
Raul drops his duffel bag from training and walks over to me, stopping just a foot from where I'm standing. "Do you want to move out, too?"
I gulp nervously. "Well, that would be the right thing to do, right? I mean, I can't stay here forever, and I can get a place of my own."
"Why can't you stay?" He frowns.
"I'm in your space." I say healf-heartedly.
I don't want to go. I love loving here, and it has nothing to do with the place.
Raul looks around the spacious apartment. "This place is quite big, I would say there is more than enough space for the both of us."
I wrack my mind trying to think of another excuse of why I should rather leave. "What if you want to bring someone over? I'd definitely kill the mood."
His mouth gapes, looking at me like I've trully lost my mind. "Bring someone over?"
"Yeah, maybe you meet a nice girl or something."
Raul laughs, but then his laughter dies when he notices I'm not kidding. "Lucille, why on earth would I want to bring another girl over when we have been together for months now? Do you want to break up, is that what you're saying?"
My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, not having words for the feelings raging inside me. What is he saying? Does he want me around? Does he not want me to leave?
"What were you thinking this is, exactly?" He frowns, crossing his muscled arms over his chest and tilting his head to look at me in genuine curiosity.
"We never put a title on anything." I shrug, unsure. "I mean, we've been sleeping together. but I..."
"So that didn't mean anything?" He interrupts me, frustration and anger taking over his demeanor. "All these months of living together, sharing everything with one another was just nothing? You're just packing up and leaving right now?"
I'm confused, "Isn't that what you want?"
"No. it's not what I want!" He exclaims.
"What do you want?" I ask hesitantly.
I've never been in this situation before. After I joined the Navy, I slept with only a handful of men mostly when I was drunk, and never with the same man more than once. When I eventually got over my dislike for sex, I enjoyed it, and didn't see anything wrong with the way I was doing it.
"You!" he points both hands at me. "I want you! Because you're smart, you don't care about football, you look at me like I'm a normal guy. You're funny as fuck once you get people to get to know you, and you care about everyone close to you."
I must be the dumbest woman on the planet, because why didn't I see that he looks at me like that?
"Really?"
"Yes, really." He takes my hand and pulls me into is hard body, my heart galloping a mile a minute when I look up into his soft, brown eyes. "So stay, with me. Not because Miguel said so, but because you want to."
He's asking me if that is what I want.
To stay with him.
I think about the months since we started sleeping together, how he would hold me the whole night the times I fell asleep in his bed or vice versa. How I thought I was imagining things when it started to feel like more than just fucking.
"I'm emotionally stunted." I tell him.
"No shit." He raises his eyebrows. "But we can work on that, so what do you say?"
I've been lonely for so long, until him. What do I have to lose?
"Okay."
"Okay." He confirms before smiling softly and bending down to kiss me. "No more running, or else."
"Or else?"
"Or else I find you."
That doesn't sound like such a bad idea.