Chapter 178 Another funeral - Benedict POV
I try to keep my composure calm as I watch another coffin go down in the ground of someone that I loved.
It pains me to think that I have to say goodbye to Samuel, who was genuinely my friend.
Why was he not taking better care of himself? Was he so busy taking care of me and my family that he let himself go? If he had a heart problem, he would know that he could come to me with everything and anything. I would have gladly paid for any treatment that he would have needed.
Samuel didn't have much family, and when the funeral is done, I turn towards his only sister and her daughter and take his sister's hands in mine.
"I will go over his affairs and send you all his valuables."
She smiles sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes and making me even sadder. He might not have had a lot of family or friends, but he was loved.
"Thank you so much for everything that you did for my brother." She smiles through her tears. "He really loved working for you.'
I take in a deep breath, and nod. "And I really valued him as my employee. He was my friend."
Probably my only one too. I have now seen that I never had any friends in the industry that I worked in. People liked me for my connections. Connections that were built by my father before me and his father before him. I do feel like a failure, because everything that they built, is over now, being neatly tied into paperwork. All because I had a son who fucked everything up.
I can't help but to be slightly angry at Ben for what he did. It makes me feel even more of a bad father than I already did.
Caroline is waiting for me by the car, another problem I have to deal with.
I want a divorce. I have been wanting one ever since things fell apart. We don't have to pretend anymore. Maybe we both will find some happiness after all this heartache. I can't help to hold out hope that maybe Valentina can find it in her heart to forgive me.
The car ride home is quiet, neither one of us having anything to say to the other.
"Will you be going back to California?" She asks when we're almost home. "I don't think we need a new butler, do you? I mean, I could handle the organization of the household just fine."
That house is a trap. One I never wanted to be in even though it's worth millions of dollars and passed on from my parents. My mother doesn't want anything to do with the house either, not that I blame her. She didn't look all that happy when she lived there.
Maybe the house is cursed, and maybe I should let it go too.
''I'm positive you can." I pat her hand, wondering when I will have the guts to tell her that we are over. There is a prenuptial agreement in place, but she still gets a substantial amount of my estate. She deserves it too, for being holed up in this loveless marriage to begin with. Maybe I'll even give her the house, if Miguel doesn't want it.
He's the only person left who could inherit it and carry on the family name. And he's going to become a father, too. How do I begin to tell Caroline that? She clearly doesn't know that Miguel and Madison have gotten together after she broke up with Ben. I know that Caroline is probably gonna go crazy, but now that the news is out that she's pregnant, how long before the father is revealed?
Another damn scandal that I didn't sign up for.
I still don't understand why Miguel went for the Smith girl. She's beautiful, sure, but your brother's girlfriend?
"Should I get a maid to start clearing Samuel's bedroom?" Caroline asks, and I just look at her.
The man was just buried, yet she wants to start clearing his room already when Ben's room is still the exact way that he left it, a
side fom the cleaning of the bed.
"No, I will go through his stuff myself."
He was my friend, I owe him that courtesy.
"Don't take too much time." Caroline smiles, trying to pull off empathy, but I know that she didn't care much for Samuel. "One of the maids can move in now, then she doesn't have to worry about commuting to be here early in the morning for breakfast."
I want to ask her who the fuck the maids should make breakfast for when her and me are the only people left in this monstrosity, but keep my opinion to myself, thinking about the homely breakfast that Valentina made us. That breakfast was filled with love, no maids to clean up afterwards.
I go to Samuel's bedroom, standing inside the neat room for a while, thinking of how much I'm going to miss his quiet presence. More reason for me to leave this house. There are a lot of loose ends I have to finish with the firm, contracts I have to go over and employees' that need severance packages. When all of that is said and done, I'm gone. I'm moving to the West Coast to try and salvage a relationship I should've never allowed my father to have a say in.
And I will be there for the only son I have left, in whatever capacity he wants me to. I'll even be a better grandfather than the father I never was for my own children.
I walk over to Samuel's closet, opening it to reveal the neatly packed clothes. He was always organized, that's for sure.
I almost close the door when something catches my eyes at the bottom of the closet floor.
His shoes.
They're not standing on the floor. I bend down and take a pair off. No, they're on what seems like books neatly places next to one another to create a layer that mimicks the floor. I take one and open to the first page.
It's in Samuel's handwriting titled "The summer of 2010."
The boys are bored. Their father is working all the time and Caroline is more bothered to have afternoon tea with the socialites to spend time with them.
It's a diary.
I take off all the shoes and pick up another one. Then another one.
It seems like Simon was documenting his life here in journal entries.
He knew everything that happened in this house. What should I do with these? Should I read it or should I throw them away and respect Samuel's privacy?