Chapter 17 I see you
"I know it's not pretty, but it will do." The doctor knocks on the moon boot after he fits it on me. "This will make sure you don't hurt yourself further. Doctor Moretti said you were taking pain killers?"
"I took two last night." I can feel the shame coating my cheeks as I hand the container with the rest of the pills over. "I got it from the physical therapist at my company."
"Do you feel as if you need them?" The doctor looks pensively at me. "We can start by taking one three times a day, we then take it to two and then one per day. Alette will be in charge of them, so you won't have it in your possession if that's what you're scared of."
Alette is the girl who talks too much, who is also my keeper.
Yet not even a private, anonymous treatment centre can keep Black from finding me.
"I needed them to stay on my feet during my last performance run." I tell him honestly. "I don't want to be dependent on them."
"If that's what you want." He smiles kindly. "Now I know Alette seems too chirpy at times, but talk to her. She's a licenced dietitian and Pilates instructor. We need to keep your muscles supple, so the two of you will be working together every day."
I never would've thought the girl is so qualified. She looks even younger than me.
"I also spoke to Gregory this morning."
"Oh?" That surprises me. "What did he say?"
"He wants you back in one piece, and that you shouldn't gain any weight."
"Just when I thought he was actually being nice." I can't help but smile.
Amelia was right. This is the best place for my ankle and foot to heal.
Alette is waiting to help me orchestrate the crutches.
"So you only got here yesterday, so today is all about finding your zen and taking a break." She all but skips next to me. "Tomorrow we can figure out your diet, what is your favorite food?"
I don't tell her that I refrain from eating most of the time, because then I will seem like a drug addict and someone with an eating disorder. I usually keep my calories for when I go out with the other dancers and when I see my family. I haven't died yet.
"I eat mostly lean protein and low calorie vegetables."
"I can work with that. Do you have any friends or family that may want to visit you? We usually have family weekends."
I immediately think of Ben, and that I haven't sent that text message yet. I haven't heard from him either.
"Maybe my parents when they can break away from their jobs." I smile wistfully. "My mother would love that."
"Tell her I'm your new favorite person and maybe she'll give me a free dress." Alette's voice is teasing, but it reminds me of when I was in school and all the girls only wanted to be my friend because they knew who my mother was.
Then there was Ben. He never asked about my parents, or about my extended family. He never wanted something from me except to love me.
"I love you, I'm sorry." I text him as soon as I get a chance to sit down. "And I miss you, but I have to do this."
Fuck, I hope he understands, and I hope that last night was just a fluke from Black. Maybe he hired someone to put that rose there. And I'm not taking those meds again, so I won't be caught off guard.
This time I swear I'll tell someone about him. Even if I have to call my uncle to fix it for me.
I don't hear anything back from Ben the whole day. I should give him time, I owe him at least that.
My ankle throbs that night without the pain killers, and I almost regret not taking the damn pill like the doctor suggested, but I know it would only make me more dependent on it on the long run, so I go to bed with the ache, making sure every window is closed, and every door is locked.
Yet I can't fall asleep.
My heart is going a mile a minute.
Waiting.
I don't check the time, I don't know how long I was lying awake when I hear it.
The opening of the lock at the sliding door.
He has a key to my villa.
I lie as still as a statue, willing my chest to move evenly as if I was asleep, my eyes half open.
I know it's him from his body build. I can even smell him all the way from the sliding door to the bed, amber and musk mixed with the ocean breeze.
He stands as still as a statue with just his body inside the bedroom. He's not wearing the helmet again, but with the bedroom in darkness, I can only make out the slope of his nose, but I can't quite see his features.
And then as if he knew I'm wide awake, he slips quietly back outside.
I hurriedly scramble out of bed and rush to the door, but just as I expected, Black is gone.
Like the wind.
And I wonder if he will be back here tomorrow night.