Chapter 165 Cute couple - T.J. POV
I hate this. I have been through almost everything with Madison and Miguel's journey, and everytime I saw them together, I always thought they were endgame. I have also seen her cry way too many times, and today is no different as I drive to a house I found on AirBnB in Malibu.
Miguel doesn't need to know we're not leaving the state, because he might end up following us, and try to apologize.
Looking at Madz in the back seat, crying in Simon's arms, she needs a break from him. She has been through too much turmoil in a short time. And I read somewhere that a happy mother makes a happy baby. All this sadness and crying can't be doing both of them any good.
My heart clenches when I meet Simon's gaze in the rearview mirror. He loos sad with Madz, showing me once again that he's a great human and an even better friend. Everybody who knows me, knows how much I love my family, and seeing him treating her with kindness and empathy, make me have a deeper respect for him.
I have decided that I will pursue him, I will show him that he doesn't have to be scared that I will hurt him, or betray him, or pull the wool over his eyes like the last dude did. I know he's hesitant because I've been identifying as a straight guy my whole life and suddenly got this interest in him. It's even disbelieving to me. I've admired him since he started at the academy with Madz, it was always obvious that the two of them were great in what they did. Maybe that adoration was more than what I thought in the beginning, and maybe spending so much time with him now has unlocked a different kind of attraction.
What I do know is that I'm old enough to know what I want, and I want him. Point, blank, finish.
Driving the more than six hours to Malibu seems to turn out a very good decision.
Madz somehow pulls herself together, and reverently stares out the window at the beautiful scenery.
Midway, we stop to have lunch and stretch our legs, Simon looking just as worried as me when she goes to the restroom at the restaurant.
"Do you think she's gong to be okay?" He asks.
"She's stronger than what she looks." I reassure him.
I know this is hard for her, but she did the right thing by leaving, and not trying to fix Miguel. That is his own responsibility.
"You sit in front." She tells Simon after we leave the restaurant. "I'm gonna take a nap."
I can sense his apprehension for leaving her alone on the back seat, and he looks a tad uncomfortable when he gets in next to me.
"Are you okay with driving all the way?" He wants to know. "I can also drive if you're tired."
"I'm good, thanks." I smile at him, finding it enduring that he looks so nervous to sit next to me. "I like driving, and I slept like a baby last night."
"You did?" He looks surprised. "I hardly slept at all."
I want to know why. Did he think about me? Did he think about the kiss on the beach last night? Was that what kept him awake? I keep it for myself though, and when I notice Madz lying down on the seat, her breathing slow and deep, I brefly look at him before focusing on the road again.
"Did you think about last night?"
He squirms in his seat, looking out the window. "I did."
"And?"
I feel his eyes burning on the side of my face. I probably shouldn't have brought it up while I can't look him in the eye, but I was feeling way too anxious about it. I want to hear what he's thinking and feeling.
"I'm scared, okay?" He says softly. "I'm scared that whatever is happening between us is just a fluke, and that whatever you think you're feeling, is just some kind of phase."
I puse my lips, understanding why he feels that way. "I'm almost forty, I think I've gone through enough phases to know what I want by now. And I'm also not the kind of person who can't make up his mind about something."
"So you being with a man doesn't make you feel some type of way?" He says in disbelief. "Like it's a sin, or make you feel less male?"
"No." I say definitively. "I wasn't raised that way.. my family will accept whatever sexuality I am. We believe in love, and happiness, and that might sound like a fairytale to some people, but it's true."
He doesn't answer me, just looks back out the window, and I don't push him either. I know I have to give him time to adjust to the idea that I really want him. I guess I just have to do some convincing.
The villa I rented is really stunning, right on the beach, and perfect for Madison who loves walking next to the ocean. I'm hoping it would do her good like when we left at the beginning of her pregnancy.
We leave her at the house to do a quick grocery run for the week that we're staying there, Simon arguing with me over who is paying at checkout.
"You're such a cute couple." the cashier smiles at us, making Simon blush, and I take that chance when he's caught off-guard to pay. It was all very domstic.
He's still blushing when we get back, and puts me out of the kitchen, saying he will do the cooking. I didn't argue, even after Madz made me do those cooking classes, I still hate it.
Plus, the steak is perfectly cooked, and I really ejoy the blush on Simon's face when I give him the compliment at the dinner table.
"Do you guys mind if I go crash?" Madz asks, her eyes still red and swollen from crying.
"Of course not." I get up and kiss her tenderly on the forehead, "Call me of you need me."
I watch her walk out of the kithen, worried about her, but I know she's going to be okay.
Simon immediately goes after her, but I catch his wrist, and pulls him into me. "Let her have some time by herself."
He blink slowly, his gaze going from Madison's back, to where I'm holding his wrist. There's a battle going on behind his eyes, especially when I don't drop his wrist and instead move until we're chest to chest.
This time, I don't make the first move, and I'm elated when he looks at me with still some questions, but pulls me even closer by my shirt with his free hand.
"Let's go to my room."
I can't deny that I wasn't expecting that, but there's no way I'm letting this opportunity pass.
"Lead the way."