Chapter 130 Bump
I turn sideways in the mirror, and tears threaten to start spilling.
There is the slightest bump, a little raise to my flat stomach. If you didn't know me, you would probably not even notice. I just look a little bloated.
It's crazy how it's only me and T.J. who knows about this pregnancy. My family is definitely going to freak out when they find out, but I couldn't tell them because they would never have let me go away.
Winter has lifted, and its place is my favourite season.
It's funny how one season only lasts a few months when it could change the entire trajectory of your life.
I used to love spring. I loved the flowers growing in random places not planted by anyone. They just bloom, because that's where they were supposed to be.
I like to think of this baby as one of those wild flowers.
I was drugged, and raped by someone I trusted, someone I thought I knew, someone who made me believe that he was the kindest, most sincere person. Then when I realised what he did to me, I sort of went into a depression and I didn't take my contraceptives.
Then I had sex with that monster's brother, who I am irrevocably in love with, who bought us a house, where he wants our future to be. And this little wild flower planted itself and is now blooming inside of me.
It's not part of my plans, far from it. I'm supposed to be dancing on all the world's stages, solidifying my name in history books as one of the best ballerinas to have ever graced those stages.
I've come to accept that sometimes life takes us on a detour, and now I get to grow a wildflower.
I put on the blonde wig that T.J. still insists I wear before taking my morning walk. We're in a Navy coastal town, and I realise I might have chosen this place because it reminds me of Miguel. Sometimes a pang goes through my heart when I see someone wearing a uniform that resembles his body build, and I would imagine he came out to find me.
I know it's stupid, he doesn't know where I'm at, because I didn't want him to know. There's no doubt in my mind that if he knew I was pregnant, he wouldn't let me out of his sight.
I wave at an elderly lady who walks past me with her dog every single day, and I always wonder if the wildflower inside me would someday ask me for a pet.
I'm still nauseous, but the doctor says that's normal, and I just passed the first trimester.
The fresh ocean air always manages to make me feel better, though, and when I make my way back to the house we are renting, I actually have a smile on my face.
I'm still a little sad that circumstances drove me here, but it's spring. Nobody should be sad in springtime.
T.J. is pacing in the living room when I enter through the front door and he practically jumps when he sees me.
"Where have you been!" He mutes the TV. "You've been gone for like an hour."
I frown, pulling the baseball cap and wig from my head. "I went for a walk, the one I always take every single morning."
"You have to sit down for this. In fact, let me get you some water." He practically sprints to the kitchen before he returns with a bottle of water. "Uncle Alessandro called when you were out, told me to put on the news."
"Everyone is okay, right?" My mind immediately jumps to my family. What if Ben hurt them trying to get back at me?
"Everyone is fine." T.J. assures me. "But you have to see this for yourself."
He searches for a specific news bulletin and looks at me to check if I'm ready before pressing play.
"We have breaking news this morning." The anchor says. "Son of New York senator, Benedict Cargill, has been arrested on charges of sexual exploitation, sexual misconduct, illegal recording of pornography as well as criminal injection of harmful substances and date rape drugs."
I almost don't hear anything aside from that, the screen of the television blurring in front of my eyes as photographs of the senior Cargill with Caroline and his two sons are being shown on the screen.
"The tipoff came from an anonymous source, who sent videos of the crimes that Benedict Cargill commited to all major news stations. It is suspected that Benedict Cargill has been hacked most likely, and experts are going over these videos to check if they are legit. In the meantime, he has been in custody since this morning in New York City. This is a developing story."
Lucille.
It has to be Lucille who hacked him and sent those videos anonymously.
"Oh my god." It feels like I'm actually breathing properly for the first time in months.
He's been caught, and if that evidence is damning, there is no way he would be able to escape that.
"Oh my god!" I grab my cheeks, trying hard not to freak out at the enormity of what is happening. "What do you think will happen next?"
"He's probably appearing in front of a judge tomorrow morning for a bail hearing." T.J. smiles. "This is fucking huge! Lucille is a fucking badass!"
I can't deny that. I might not like her, but I know none of this would have been possible without her.
Then another thought enters my mind.
"You don't think she would send my video, right?" Panic starts gripping me. "I don't want the world to see what he did to me!"
T.J. walks over to me and takes me in his arms. "I don't know, Madz, but I don't think Miguel would let your video get out there."
But what if it did?
I don't want my trauma exposed to the whole world.
"This is great news, Madz!" T.J. kisses the top of my head. "This means we can go home soon."
The world is about to find out just how deviant Ben really is. Right now I'm in a cocoon, far away from the noise of the city.
Whether my video was sent to those news stations or not, Ben's crimes are going to follow me one way or the other.