Chapter Twelve

What a fucking mess! That was the thought running front and center in Landon’s mind as he, Dax and Noah made their way through the Pack House and back toward Noah’s apartment. He had denied Noah’s offer to be carried back to the suite and had made the trip completely unassisted. Noah and Dax were flanking him like some kind of honor guard, growling at anyone who dared to come too close. It was ridiculous and embarrassing and, though he’d never admit it, slightly endearing.

He’d been glad that Kellan hadn’t expected him to rehash all the gruesome details from his time in captivity. The idea of having to dredge up those memories and relive them had filled him with ball-numbing fear. He hadn’t been able to add much to the conversation but, when the time came to lay his few secrets out on the table, he’d been surprised at how easily they’d flowed free.

It still hurt like hell to talk about it but now that it was out there, he felt lighter. Like a weight he hadn’t known he was carrying had been lifted from his chest and he could finally breathe. The change had been miraculous and he knew the reason for it was the two men at his side. Their strong, steady support had given him the reassurance he needed to purge those memories from his soul where they had been locked away and festering. He was finally free. He hoped the same would be true for Ruby, who still had a long way to go down the road of healing.

By the time they reached Noah’s apartment, Landon was pretty sure he was going to pass out. His sole consolation was that he had managed the whole trip under his own steam. He shuffled his way across the living room then dropped down onto the sofa as the last vestiges of his strength left him. Sprawling out, he closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath.

He heard the front door close and the heavy thud of booted feet on hardwood, then silence. It was odd. Even after living with the men for just a few days, Landon had grown accustomed to their deep, booming voices and loud, clomping steps. He had determined that their massive bodies and boisterous personalities didn’t lend to quiet, unobtrusive actions. It just wasn’t in their nature.

Cracking open an eye, Landon was startled to see both men standing on the other side of the room, arms crossed over their chests and glaring at him. Landon groaned and threw an arm over his eyes. “What now?”

“You lied to us.” Noah glowered.

“About what?” It was like Landon had walked into a conversation halfway through and was now scrambling to catch up.

“You told us you were too weak to shift. You never mentioned that you believed that you no longer had the ability.”

“Are you kidding me?” Landon struggled to stand, refusing to have this conversation while they loomed over him. “With everything else going on and everything we just heard, you really want to focus on this? It doesn’t even matter.”

“Wrong!” Dax snapped. “Your health and well-being will always be our number one priority. We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.”

“What the hell do you think you can do? How do you think you can fix me when I don’t even know what’s broken?” Landon’s chest heaved and his eyes prickled as moisture pooled within their depths. Blinking furiously, he fought against the traitorous tears that were threatening to unman him. He refused to break down and start crying like a baby in front of these powerful, gorgeous men.

Dax crossed the room to stand before him. He cupped Landon’s face between his hands and forced him to meet his eyes. “The point of telling us isn’t so we can fix you. You tell us these things so we can be there to comfort and support you. We’re your mates. It’s our job to help you shoulder the burden. We just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” Landon scoffed, shaking off Dax’s hands. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through for the last few days?” He winced as his voice reached a shrill, high pitch he had never managed before and hoped he never would again.

“No, we don’t,” Noah answered, closing the distance between them in a handful of determined steps. “Why don’t you explain it to us?”

“I thought I was losing my fucking mind!” Landon thundered. “My whole life, I’ve never experienced attraction or arousal. You think you get it, but you have no idea what that’s like. I’ve lived the last twenty years knowing there was something wrong with me, something missing, but having no idea how to fix it. It was okay, though. I’d learned to accept my limitations and not dwell on them. Then, ten seconds in a room with the two of you and I am like a prepubescent boy with his first boner, literally.”

“Ten whole seconds? Damn, Noah. I think we’re losing our touch. Maybe old age is starting to catch up with us, huh?”

“God, you are such an idiot,” Landon grumbled, simultaneously charmed and disgusted by Dax’s obliviousness. “You’re missing the point, asshole. Here I am, finally experiencing desire for the first time, only to find that the objects of that lust are already mated to each other. I may have lived a sheltered life, but even I was taught about the sanctity of a mating bond. Then to top of the whole clusterfuck, you tell me that I’m your mate, too.”

Understanding bloomed on Dax’s face and the fierce gleam in Noah’s eyes lost some of its edge.

“Baby,” Dax crooned, opening his arms and reaching out for him.

Landon shook his head and stepped away. He needed the distance to keep a clear head. Something about these men messed with his mind and never failed to turn him into a simpering, needy ball of nerves. He couldn’t fall apart right now. He needed to be strong.

“For the last few days, all my energy has been focused on trying to figure out what’s going on and where I stand in this whole crazy situation. I feel like I‘m a mile behind in the race and there’s no way for me to get even footing.”

“Jesus,” Dax breathed. “Baby, we are so goddamned sorry. We had no idea you felt that way.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you lied to us about the shifting.”

Noah’s expression was stern and unyielding. His pointed gaze bored into Landon with a directness that made him fidgety and uncomfortable. There was a strength behind it the brooked no argument. His time under Gregory’s thumb had trained him to be wary of any display of strength and aggression in other wolves. Noah was clearly a strong wolf. The raven-haired man’s aura practically pulsed with power. That power should have sent Landon running for his life. Instead, Landon had the intense urge to rub up against him like a bitch in heat.

“Landon.”

His name on Noah’s tongue made his knees weak in a way that was completely new to him. His body heated and his cock took notice, filling to capacity with a speed that left him slightly lightheaded. The fabric of his pants pinched the engorged flesh, eliciting a whimper from him that was equal parts pleasure and pain.

“I’m still waiting for an explanation, boy.”

Landon blinked as his whole body shuddered in response. He tried to focus on Noah’s words but with the arousal coursing through him, the Alpha wolf might as well be speaking Swahili for all that Landon could understand him. The sole thought on his mind was the overwhelming desire to unzip his pants and relieve the unrelenting pressure on his tortured flesh.

Dax chuckled. “Look what you’ve done, Noah. You had to go all Alpha and now you’ve completely addled his brain. You can’t expect him to answer you now.”

“I can and I do,” Noah replied seriously. “He needs to understand that he is our mate. It’s our job to love and care for him, as it is his job to do the same for us. Lies have no place between mates and only serve to keep us from being able to do our duty.” Pinning him with a steely glare, Noah crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Now I am asking you again, why didn’t you tell us the truth about the shifting?”

Landon swallowed, his throat uncomfortably dry. “I was ashamed,” he muttered. “I didn’t want you to see how weak I am. What Gregory did to me was bad enough. I didn’t want to admit that he had destroyed me, too.”

Noah crossed the room and stood in front of him, dwarfing Landon with his massive size. Without warning, he wrapped his thick arms around Landon and pulled him against his chest. Landon tensed, instinctively assuming the big man would act without a thought to his injuries. He should have known better.

Noah’s arms were solid and strong, surrounding him like thick protective bands. Landon couldn’t help but sink into the man’s embrace, relaxing against him in an act of trust unlike anything he’d ever experienced, even with his own Pack.

“Sweet boy, you are anything but weak. Few people could survive what you’ve been through and be able to walk away sane. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

“But my wolf is gone,” Landon whispered against the soft material of Noah’s shirt. “I can’t shift.”

“I’m not convinced of that.”

“Excuse me?” Landon’s ears must be playing tricks on him.

“With the right motivation, I believe you will shift again.”

“Oh, really,” Landon drawled, not even attempting to hide his disbelief. “And what kind of motivation would that be?”

Noah’s full lips twisted up into a devilish grin. “An order from your Alpha mate, of course. Now… Shift!”