Chapter 80 Truthful Words
ALICE
Monday came and went and I still had no idea what to do.
I didn't go to work. I was too angry to function, so I preferred to stay put. Freddie called me three times and I ignored his calls.
I couldn't tell my anger and disappointment apart. If I still hated him, then maybe this would have been yet another thing I'd get over, but that wasn't the case. I was genuinely falling for him. I thought he had changed, and that fate had somehow crossed our paths again. What kind of person was he? How could he be so cruel?
Did I think I was some...some thing he could play with? Was he so cold and cruel that he thought my life was a game to him?
And Francesca...I liked and admired her so much. I couldn't believe that she sat across from me and lied. She seemed like such a decent woman. But surely she had to know about all this, or how would Freddie know?
The harder I thought about all this, the angrier I got. No, I couldn't keep this to myself. I couldn't just shut myself in this apartment and try to forget this happened. I had to find Theo and give him a piece of my mind. Why would I go to Ember & Ink as Freddie had suggested when Theo was at the center of it all?
I got ready in under thirty minutes, then left. It was the end of the workday, but I knew he'd still be there. Usually, he stayed longer than everyone else. I always hurried to get the hell away from him, but that was the reputation he had.
I didn't know where he lived, so going downtown was the only other option I had.
On the way there, I hoped and prayed that I would find him and that this wouldn't be a wasted journey or something like that. I had a lot on my mind and we had to straighten this out for what I was sure would be the last time.
After this, he was dead to me, and I didn't care how far I had to travel to get away from him.
I'd go.
I paid the driver and stepped out of the car. At this time of night, the air was almost frigid, but I was wearing a trench coat and boots, and anyway, I didn't plan on standing outdoors for too long. As I approached the entrance, I had this feeling of being watched, and it was so strong that I looked around before heading inside.
Whatever. I didn't have time for feelings of paranoia.
I told the head of security that I was here for him, and he placed the call. In the same breath, he told me that Mr. Linden-Hawthorne allowed me to go up. He accompanied me to the elevator, and then I was on my own. My heart started beating pretty fast, but I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly in hopes of calming myself.
A clear head was the only way I'd say everything I intended to say.
The elevator opened and there he was, standing in the middle of the lobby wide-eyed. My heart twisted in my damn chest at the sight of him. Even after all of this...Wow. I was truly pathetic.
I stepped toward him slowly, taking my time in hopes that my thoughts would be more organized by the time I reached him.
"Alice," he said.
I stopped a few feet away from him. "You lied to me. About everything."
Confusion flickered across his eyes. "I didn't lie to you about anything. What're you talking about?"
"I'm working for your grandmother," I claimed, getting straight to the point. I watched his face closely and sure enough, the light in his eyes dimmed. He really thought I'd never find out? That it would be a secret forever?
"Alice—"
"This whole time, you acted like you'd given me space—"
"I didn't act. My grandmother involved herself in all of this because she convinced herself that I would be better off without you. I had nothing to do with it."
I scoffed. "Are you kidding me? Do you really expect me to believe that?"
Theo stepped closer to me and I couldn't help but notice that he had a pleading look in his eyes. "I found out about this recently, Alice. For months, I tried to forget you. I tried and fucking failed. Hell, I got engaged to Carmella because I was so ready to put you behind me. That wasn't an act, just like this isn't."
I shook my head and he continued. "I found out that you were working for her on the night I saw you with Todd and your coworker. Todd was the one who told me about it. I called my grandmother and confronted her, and then I went to your apartment to tell you the truth."
"But you didn't."
"No," he agreed. "I couldn't. You told me that job was the best thing that ever happened to you, remember? I didn't want to ruin another great thing for you. I figured that my grandmother's obsession with our situation would pass and you'd never have to find out. And if you did, then maybe it wouldn't matter anymore. I had nothing to do with it, Alice. I never lied to you."
Tears made my vision blurry. "Yes, you did. You did, and this is a trick! This is to get me to believe you all over again!"
"No. It's not." He was standing right in front of me now, so close that his breath fanned my face when he spoke. "Todd only told you this to push you away from me and into his arms. He's malicious. He didn't know the full story. Who the fuck would have told him? I'll have to ask you to forgive my grandmother. She had good intentions. She didn't mean any harm. Tell me you believe me."
I shook my head and he grabbed both my arms gently. I grew weak in the knees right away. "Tell me, Alice. I can see it in your eyes that you do, but I want to hear you say the words."
"This doesn't make any sense," I whispered. "That she would do this just to—"
"I'll have to interrupt you again. Granny has it in her head that you're the love of my life and I shouldn't let you go. She's been pestering me for months. She never agreed to my engagement. She didn't even attend the party. She thought it was a big mistake. We don't marry for love in our family, and she thinks that that's the reason why we're all so fucked up."
I sucked in a breath. I couldn't detect a lie or an inconsistency in any of his words, and he looked genuine. I wanted to believe him, but I was terrified of being wrong and naïve.
The look in his eyes was so tender yet so hungry at the same time. I wanted to give myself to him like I had last Friday. I wanted to abandon myself to whatever would happen next between us.
But the fear...it was eating me alive.
And I didn't know what to do.