Chapter 72 Dispirited
ALICE
I wasn't sure how long I stood there, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.
It was pathetic really, come to think of it, but I was genuinely shocked and my brain froze. I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know how to look away.
Theo didn't take his eyes off me either, and it was clear that he was just as surprised to see me here. God, it never crossed my mind that he would be here.
A hand on his chest distracted me enough to avert my gaze and I ended up looking at the person who was standing right next to him. It was his fiancée. I recognized her from all the articles that now haunted my phone. Her hair was long, perfectly curled, and the palest shade of blonde. She looked stunning standing next to him, and I couldn't help but notice that there was pure adoration in her eyes whenever she glanced at him.
I felt sick to my stomach just then. It was like the single glass of champagne I had coagulated in my stomach and if I didn't look away or move, I would throw up right here.
Right on this spot.
So, I was the first to look away and I once again had to change directions. I went the opposite way, back toward his cousin, but not quite. I made sure to make a sharp left before I could see his unpleasant face again, and continued looking for Freddie.
Thankfully, I came across him. He looked a little worried as he looked around, but when he caught my eye, he realized.
"There you are," he claimed, handing me my drink. "I was beginning to worry."
"Yeah, I walked around aimlessly looking for something to eat," I lied before anxiously downing the entire glass of champagne. I ignored the look he gave me. "Hey, it's a little hot in here, don't you think?"
"You wanna head outside?"
"Yeah. I can't breathe."
Together, we went in search of an exit we found a pair of French doors that led to an immaculately decorated garden. It seemed dinner would be held outside, under the starlight. I'd kind of lost the ability to feel impressed by everything, though, because Theo's presence here derailed me, and I didn't know what to do anymore.
Should I stick around?
Leave?
What was the right choice in this scenario?
I stepped on a pebble on our way to a more secluded part of the garden, near the cypress trees, and Freddie caught my arm before I could fall and embarrass myself.
I shouldn't have had that glass of champagne so quickly.
"Thanks," I said to him, smiling to hide my nervousness.
"Are you okay? Feeling better now?"
"Yeah, yeah. I just needed to breathe a little."
Bullshit. I just needed to hide.
I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to go back inside again. I didn't care how it looked—I was running from Theo. It was the best thing to do in this situation. He was here with his fiancée and his family, it seemed, and I didn't want to parade around like a bitter ex hoping for some attention.
Ex was too big a word for what we were, but okay. It would have to do for now.
Freddie took small sips of his drink and looked around. His other hand was shoved into the pocket of his pants. He was perfectly at ease and for a moment, I envied it. I thought tonight would be fun and great, but it was slowly turning out to be a nightmare.
I wasn't comfortable here anymore, and I wondered what Freddie would think if I told him I had to leave. What would Francesca think? Would she even notice?
Decisions, decisions.
"It's a little cold out here. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
My mind wandered once more, and I found myself thinking about the precise moment when we made eye contact. It was easier for me to dissect my feelings now that it was over. My heart? It nearly jumped out of my chest. Even now, it was beating impossibly fast.
I had to get over this. I couldn't take two steps back and ruin my progress every time I saw him. Something had to change, but I didn't know what.
"If you're cold, you can just tell me. I'll give you my blazer."
I smiled politely at him, thankful for the distraction. "No, you don't have to. I mean it. I'll be fine."
"Need another drink?" he asked, gesturing toward the empty glass in my hand.
"I probably shouldn't."
"It's Friday. You could have another glass if you want. There's no work tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know that. It's just that I'm fine."
There was no way that I'd be drinking anything else when my emotions were all over the place the way they were. Nope. I'd just be setting myself up for failure. I could almost see myself stumbling back inside that house to drunkenly call Theo an asshole, even though he wasn't to blame for any of this.
I'd been the asshole.
Freddie cleared his throat. I turned my attention back to him, asking, "Were you saying something?"
"I asked if you were still up for some food."
I panicked. It was too early for me to head back there. I definitely didn't want to run the risk of coming across Theo again. "Oh, I'll probably stay here for a little while longer, if that's okay with you."
"Sure. I'll bring you something, then."
"Thank you."
I watched him walk away, and now, I was standing all by myself. There wasn't anyone around me.
If I stayed low just like this, then I would be able to get through this evening. I'd make it right through the very end. Besides, what were the chances that he would stay long? No, that was way too much wishful thinking. I couldn't presume to know anything about his life.
He'd stay as long as he wanted, so that meant I needed a better plan.
From the corner of my eye, I saw two security guards—and I could tell by their plain suits and the earpieces they were both wearing—heading in my direction. I averted my gaze, waiting for them to go the other way, but when it became clear that they were walking in my direction, that was when I stared at them openly.
Sure enough, they stopped in front of me.
What was it this time?