Chapter 54 One Last Time
ALICE
I didn't have a chance to confront Mr. Linden-Hawthorne about what he did because Mom and Dad didn't leave his side once.
But now, everyone was asleep, so I had my chance to walk up to him and talk.
We were going around in circles; I knew that. I told him what my wishes were a long time ago, and I already knew what he wanted from me. But before we left New York, we were discussing something important, and after all this, I had to know where we stood.
The last thing I needed was to be indebted to him and, ultimately, be forced to do whatever he wanted.
At the same time, I was starting to feel a certain way about him that scared me, because it hit me from out of nowhere. No, not out of nowhere. That wasn't right.
From the day we kissed in my office on New Year's Eve, I felt attracted to him, even though it felt wrong because I hated him for being a dick all the time. This whole time, I'd been pushing him away to avoid my feelings, but it was all coming to an end.
I felt it.
The living room would be empty except for the two of us. I made sure to lock Rory's door so he wouldn't walk in on us arguing, and my parents drank way too much today, so I knew they'd sleep through the night.
Halfway down the corridor, I paused and looked at my bare legs. Should I have put on some pajama pants or something? I had a baggy shirt on that ended mid-thigh, and I wasn't even wearing a bra.
But what was the big issue, anyway? It wasn't like he hadn't already seen me naked.
I continued, tiptoeing so he wouldn't hear me. From my position, it looked like he was asleep, but he would have to wake up. This would be our last chance to straighten things out before returning to the city.
He shifted as soon as I was a foot away from the couch. I sucked in a breath, nervous all of a sudden. "Miss Rhodes?"
"We need to talk," I whispered.
Sighing, he sat up a little so his back was pressed against the armrest. Naturally, the couch creaked and groaned when he moved, the old piece of shit. "If it's about the money, forget it. I don't expect anything from you."
"Why'd you pay the bill, then?"
"I sympathized with your family," he answered. "I wanted to help in any way I could."
This angered me. "This isn't a charity case!"
"I never once said it was. I don't understand your anger, Miss Rhodes. It's my money, after all. I can do whatever I want with it. I helped a few friends out. So what?"
I scoffed. "I'm not your friend."
"The bill wasn't yours, was it?" he retorted. "It was your Dad's, and I consider him a friend. Do you have a problem with that?"
He was answering in the calmest way imaginable and it pissed me the hell off, but I had run out of arguments. He did me a favor, of course he did. I had no way of covering that bill.
"I'll pay you back."
"Enough, Miss Rhodes. I already told you that you don't owe me a damned thing. You're not indebted to me. I've never asked you for a damned thing in return, did I? You're offending me at this point."
"Nobody drops thirty thousand dollars just like that."
"I do, apparently."
Dammit, we were going nowhere again. It wouldn't matter what I said. He would never let me pay him back. He wouldn't even admit that what he did was wrong because he should've asked me about it first.
"Look, if you're scared about what happens next, you don't have to be. We'll return to the city and I'll gladly fire you."
"Gladly."
"Yes. Then, you'll be free to find another job. Naturally, your references will be excellent, and then we won't have to see each other ever again." A beat of silence passed. "Consider this my official apology."
"And what're you apologizing for exactly?"
"Hounding you," he replied. "Pursuing you when you had zero interest in me. Confusing all the signals you sent me."
This invisible weight pressed down on my chest and all of a sudden, it was hard for me to even breathe. Why were his words bothering me so much? Why did I feel this way when this was exactly what I wanted?
"You're seriously going to let me go? Just like that?"
"You were never my prisoner."
"Yes, I was."
"Alright, then. I'll let you go."
I nodded, feeling awkward all of a sudden. Moments later, he let out a low laugh and asked me, "What is it, Miss Rhodes? I thought this would make you happy."
"I am happy."
"You sure as hell aren't acting like it."
"That's only because you don't know him at all."
Even in the dark, his eyes gleamed. His voice was a deep rumble in his chest. "That so?"
I gulped. Fuck, I hated him. I hated how he could read me like a book. I hated how he was always right about everything.
I was being stupid. This made no sense.
The air around us thickened with tension and that was when I knew I had to pull away. With no warning at all, I moved to head back to my room, but he caught my wrist in his hand easily, pulling me toward him with one sharp tug.
I landed right on his lap. Hell, I was straddling him. He was only in his boxers and his cock was right there. "You haven't given me an answer, Alice."
Whenever he called me by my first name, I felt disoriented. "What...What're you talking about?"
"Tell me you're happy about this. Tell me you want this."
When I tried to free myself, he tightened his hold around my wrists and I landed further up his lap so my clit was brushing against his erection. Yes, he was turned on.
So was I.
"I don't know what you want me to say. You already know what I want!"
"So it seems, but we both know that there's something you're hiding, and trying to figure out what it is drives me crazy." He shifted and rubbed against my clit. My lips parted and I sucked in a breath. "I need to hear you say that you're alright with this. That you want to find another job. Say the words."
"I want to find another job."
He paused, then nodded slowly. "It'll hurt, Miss Rhodes, but I'll grant you your wish. You'll receive your last paycheck, and you'll be free to start somewhere else."
"It's the middle of the month."
"Doesn't matter." He shifted again and this time, I had to bite back a moan. He felt so good against me and I was so turned on. This was evil. Pure evil. "I'll miss having you around. I'm telling you this now since I won't have another chance to. Believe it or not, my day was better when you were there, even before I found out what you tasted like." His lips brushed against the curve of my neck. "What you felt like."
I was moving my hips now, too. He let out a groan that traveled all the way down my spine. My nipples tightened even though it was warm in the living room. "Oh."
"I'm crazy about you," he murmured against my skin, "but I know that this is the time to let you go. You're not sure of what you want, and we can't keep doing this. Tell me you understand. I want to hear you say it."
"Yes," I practically moaned. He was getting even harder beneath me, but then he stopped and disappointment flooded me. Our faces were merely inches apart. "Do you want to do this?"
I knew what he meant right away. "I can't...We can't."
"Can't doesn't mean you don't want to. I know you're wet."
I shook my head. "Please stop. I have sex with you now, and I'll be paying you with my freedom."
"No. I already told you it won't be that way. Look, I don't know what any of this means either. But I have no expectations." He raised his hand and caressed my face. "I'm just happy to be here."
His words touched a part of me that I didn't think even existed. I raised my hand too and allowed myself to touch his face. This was my first time doing this. Touching him. Instead of answering him, I pressed my lips against his firmly, and he responded almost immediately.
I'd probably regret this in the morning.
But right now, it felt right, so why the hell not?